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Universes
Posted Wednesday, August 21, 2024
4mo
INFP
Cancer
I should cool it with the angst
I am running a non zero chance of a lawsuit from mitski for copy right infringement. But after my little tantrums I have come to a realization, love is a privilege not a right. You hear about how everyone has someone out there, and statistically probable. But it is my greed and impatience that lead me to a unhappy state of being. I assume it is not unlike losing a part of oneself. Both traumatic and how one copes is incredibly personal. In my case, I dislike being left "unwhole", but now i need to learm to be whole by myself. I had the privilege to being in love and believing I had a healthy relationship for almost a decade. I got used to certain things, but those are gone. And like a child forced to grow up and realize all the work it takes to live in the world, it was and is a shock to my system. And the phantom pains of my previous cushy life that flash before my eyes are likely a part of that shock. I hope I am lucky enough to be in love one day again, but I do not expect it. For it is in the expectation where the weeds of envy and greed grow. Like a wildflower blooming in a lawn, it really is up to the cosmic dance we all play if i were to get so lucky. We are just ribbons of light dancing in the tea of spacetime and what will be will be. Now if you excuse me, I will be tending to myself. Text you soon I am sure Mouse 🐁
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