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Savannah
Savannah

2y

ESFJ

Pisces

2 Awards

Effects of loosing your v card

I got ghosted after loosing mine recently, how do you deal with the emotional aftermath alone? It wasn't a good experience and Idk I went through all the stages of grief I guess. I've come to accept it but now I'm on a whole new low of depression. Edit: To be clear Yes my Virginity and it was just supposed to be a date and he got impatient I geuss idk how it happened but it did. I thought since he rushed it like that that we'd still talk about it but he dropped me off on the side of the road where I had to spend the night and I never heard from him again. 😕 I'm looking for someone to date and get to know but I ended up with a mistake. (edited)

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65

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Yvette

Yvette

2y

INTJ

Taurus

1
9

1 Award

Hi Savannah. I can't very well expressed how sorry I am this happened to you. I see you are quite young, and this must be one of the grave experience that you came upon. Reading your post, i felt your pain, and it would be very superficial of me to say everything will be okay, cause it wouldn't be immediately. Everything is a process.. Please seek your family or friends not just for comfort, but to let out all those negative feelings, and cry if you must. I am hoping you have someone nearby who'll listen to you. And I am hoping for your healing, both mentally and emotionally.. I wanted to personally send you a message, but don't want you to think me weird.. So feel free to message if you want someone to talk to, okay? And please don't be hesitant to seek professional help, they can help you process all these.. (edited)

19

1

Reply

Aj

Aj

2y

INTP

Sagittarius

6
7

that's just so wrong of him to do to you im so sorry

10

0

Reply

Justen Slack

Justen Slack

2y

INFP

Virgo

6
7

Wow, that is horrendous treatment any way you look at it. Please go talk to a professional about it, that's crazy. A counselor, psychologist, please go to someone, for your own well-being. That is messed up and would mentally scar anyone. I'm so sorry

6

4

Reply

Bill

Bill

2y

INFP

1
2

Sorry to hear that happened to you. Do your best to not handle it alone. Try taking to someone. It might be embarrassing at first, but should help you feel better faster.

6

0

Reply

Shawn

Shawn

2y

ENFP

Taurus

6
7

I'm sorry, being ghosted is never fun and especially after something you consider a big event happens too. I'm sorry it also wasnt a good experience either. I wish i knew how to help

5

0

Reply

Josef

Josef

2y

INFP

Sagittarius

4
5

I second everyone's recommendation that you find a trusted someone to talk to about this. A therapist would be ideal (since they are almost guaranteed to be non-judgmental) but not everyone has access to that sort of support. Sex can be complicated and messy, especially your first time, but consent should never be. Like a few others have said, as you process, if you feel it would be appropriate, go for a police report. All this could be a lot more manageable if you're in college, see a counselor there, and they'll be way more helpful than internet strangers. Sorry you were treated this way, hang in there, you're stronger than you know

4

0

Reply

Khang

Khang

2y

ISFP

Capricorn

I'm sorry. That guy was a POS. I hope you can come to understand that it had nothing to do with you and you are able to find the closure and support you need. Hang in there queen <3

3

0

Reply

Genélle

Genélle

2y

ENFP

Sagittarius

Honey, this does count as coercion, and you have every right to feel your pain. I second those who encouraged you to consider making a police report. But if you do not feel comfortable doing so, I certainly hope you will seek counseling and focus on your healing. You are worthy of love and respect!

2

2

Reply

Gael

Gael

2y

ENFJ

Aquarius

4
5

Thats messed up. I know some people are only interested in physical intimacy, but I figure that is something you should bring up off the bat imo 🤔

2

0

Reply

Ruby

Ruby

2y

INFP

Libra

1
9

I am so sorry this happened to you. First know that not all men are like that dirtbag. Take some time to heal, emotionally, mentally and physically. Once you decide you are ready to start dating again, learn from your mistake. Let these dudes know you are not interested in a one night stand, you want a relationship. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. Take your time and get to know them before you decide to sleep with them.

2

0

Reply

Daniel

Daniel

2y

INFP

Capricorn

2
3

I'm sorry to hear that you had a horrible experience. When I was younger, I was that Sonofabitch. I'd never leave someone stranded though, that's just heartless. There are somethings that men at that age don't even realize about themselves. The first is the significant role hormones play in decision making. It's very much like a drug addict trying to get their fix. They're willing to do and say whatever it takes; but the kicker is that they're not always conscious that they're doing it. And like a drug addict, when the payoff seems like it's taking too long, they become impatient, demanding, they might even cry to manipulate a person, or they'll just give up. Them giving up is a blessing. Because it means they wanted it, and not you as a person. What you want in a relationship is upto you, but for a long-term relationship, seek someone who likes being around you just because, and sex isn't even a thought to them. Going slow has the benefit of weeding out the fuckbois, creeps, and sex addicts. But go forward with the knowledge that sex is a drug, and testosterone is it's pusher. Be safe out there. I hope the next one loves you like a best friend.

1

0

Reply

Eugene

Eugene

2y

INTP

Capricorn

Can't believe there's still ppl that will do that.. Sorry to hear that😢

1

0

Reply

Adam

Adam

2y

INFJ

6
7

Im honestly sorry you had a terrible first time, whats going through you mind? Like do you just never wanna do it again?

0

0

Reply

Brian

Brian

2y

ENFJ

Pisces

😔I'm so sorry you had to experience such a bad relationship🥲unfortunately I don't know what to say to make you feel better but if your open to talking about it I'm here 😊I'll do my best to make you feel better

0

0

Reply

Amanda B.

Amanda B.

2y

ENTJ

Capricorn

3
4

There are two kinds of people in life. Givers and takers. The takers always seek out givers. And they'll take as much as they can. Never forget it. If you're a giver, avoid the takers. And never mistake a taker for a giver. What's crucially important is 1. You understand you are not to blame. It isn't your fault this happened. It didn't happen because you were naive or giving. It happened bc HE was a taker. 2. You should also understand this does not, IN ANY WAY, reduce your worth as a woman. Maybe you had dreams of saving it for Mr. Right. Well...sometimes Mr. Right can't handle the pressure or feeling of obligation that comes with that. Mr. Right could be a wonderful guy but everything can end up sabotaged by the unspoken feelings of obligation that come along with being the first. Take time to heal. See this POS for what he is. Know that you're too good for him. Trust me on that.

0

0

Reply

Cameron

Cameron

2y

ISTP

Libra

7
8

Worry less about him. Find person sacrificing all. Ultimately "die" will stay till your gone. Roll correctly maintain personal reasoning. Either die young, middle-aged, or old. Take me cool, just know. I'd be your last if she has stayed. Make star ongoing cycle forever.

0

0

Reply

Duncan

Duncan

2y

ENFJ

Taurus

The same thing happened to me, it's really a bad thing for people to do I realized why that happened if this person just wanted physical touch they weren't someone I wanted in my life

0

0

Reply

Spero Manolatos

Spero Manolatos

2y

INTJ

Taurus

I'm so sorry that happened to you I hope you know that you're not worthless and that you deserve someone who's more mature. I'm not great with advice but I would say try to stay away from guys that have similar red flags to that one guy. Best of luck hope you feel better soon 👍

0

0

Reply

Travis

Travis

2y

INFP

Cancer

2
1

What is wrong with people that's messed up

0

0

Reply

Chris

Chris

2y

ISTP

Scorpio

Well, anyone trying to "rush" isn't doing it to hurry up and have a relationship with you. That's super messed up that he did that. All of it.

0

0

Reply

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