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Universes
Posted Tuesday, June 11, 2024
1y
ENFJ
Pisces
Ladies, this Ones for you!
### A Heartfelt Message About Dating and Disabilities Today, I had an interesting experience on the dating app Bumble. I met a lady from Indonesia who was living in Australia but had moved to Bali. She told me that it wouldn’t work between us because I have a disability, and she wanted to go on adventures with someone. This hurt because I can go on adventures just like any other man and live a full, fulfilling life despite my disability. I can assure you that I can make a woman happy. To all the ladies out there, I want to share this important message: - **Be Kind and Respectful**: When you meet someone with a disability, please, for the love of God, be nice. Don’t tell them they’re stupid or use their disability as a reason not to be with them. - **Avoid Justifying Discrimination**: Don’t justify your discrimination to make yourself feel better. It only makes you look worse. - **Understand and Communicate**: Try to understand each other. If you’re not willing to go out with someone, say, "I’m happy to be friends," rather than openly telling them hurtful things. Discriminate against someone because they’re an idiot or a racist, not because they’re in a wheelchair or can’t climb mountains with you. Remember, always be polite and courteous. This is the best dating advice I can offer as a person in a wheelchair. I desperately want to find someone special, but it’s hard when faced with such prejudices. Thank you for listening. I’m just feeling a lot of hurt right now.
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Jacqs
1y
INFP
Scorpio
Hello. Sorry you experienced that. It takes a shallow mind to think like that. I have met many with disabilities leading a good life and having adventures. Just know you deserve someone better. Also remember several things 1. Your soulmate is still waiting for you and 2. Consider the source of who says these things. You might be able to see their disability until they open their mouth.
0
1
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Rim
1y
ISFP
Virgo
I understand that, she shouldn't have dated you in the first place tbh since it was about your disability, but I don't think that you dated anyway (?) She just rejected you and was honest about what she's looking for, and nothing is wrong with that, it's not discrimination, that's dating you go for who you see forever with. But again, I would understand if somebody wouldn't date me because of something like my disability, especially when it's not treatable, she wants to experience certain things with her partner that perhaps you can't offer and she has a right to do that, you are just not compatible one day you'll find somebody else who's compatible with you. What I can't understand is if they date me for a long time and then suddenly decides to break up with me out of nowhere "because of my disability", that's F'd up.
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3
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Kristen
1y
INFJ
Pisces
I'm so sorry you had this experience. And if I loved someone and they ended up in a wheelchair, I'd accept that and work with it to keep them. But what she said has validity. As someone who plans to spend the rest of their life exploring ruins in far corners of the world, I understand where she is coming from. But you need to understand that what she is really saying isn't that you are wrong for HER, it's that SHE is wrong for YOU. Admitting that your lifestyles and life plans will not align is fair, regardless of the reason. It's honest. She didn't waste your time or lead you on.
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0
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Selma 🧚🏽♀️
1y
INFJ
Aries
Remember that your worth and value come from who you are as a person, not from any external validation. You deserve love and respect, regardless of any perceived limitations.
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0
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𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖕𝖍 | 🇳🇱 | 🎸 | 🎬 |
1y
ENFJ
Capricorn
She wasn't right for you bro. If all one cares about is adventure and has a can't do attitude about it. There is more incompatibility that just the use of legs. I was fortunate enough to had a temporary wheelchair life. But when I was one of you, I met the most can do attitude people in my life. I was amazed how much is actual possible if you set your mind to it. And I was inspired. I still carry that inspiration every day. 🫡 this is a thank you! And here is a wish that you will meet good people who treat you with the respect you deserve king! 🙏🏽 It is the Internet, there wil always be people that'll act cold and mean here. But there are good people too! Here's for you to meet them!
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0
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Luci
5d
INTJ
Libra
I agree. But, in fairness, men discriminate against women, too. I was chatting to a guy on POF, and mentioned to him that I was seriously injured as a teenager. In response to that, he asked me, "Does it affect your mobility or anything?", and I told him "no." Then he said, "Good, because I like to go hiking." In other words, if I had said that I can't walk long distances, he wouldn't have been interested in dating me. I never met that guy. I was partly put off by his willness to discriminate based on someone not being able to go hiking with him. The joke of it all? This guy was on a disability pension! Yes, he had a "disability" (not intellectual) but was still willing to reject someone with mobility issues. If you're single, you can still go hiking. You don't need a partner to do that. So, why would it matter if you meet a potential partner who can't go hiking with you?
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0
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