So I have a damsel right? Picked her up at her worst point a year ago as a very close friend. We hit it off. We have every hobby the same. We flirt with each other all the time and we used to spend every waking moment together. A few months after knowing me I ended up paying her and her entire families expenses due to the situation being very dire and that was supposed to be only for a couple of months. May came around and the mother and her sister got hit by a car, whole bunch of injuries and she thought I would have abandoned her. I shut up. I buckled down. I got to work and I ended up paying for all of their issues, I've continued to pay for all the expenses as well as gifts and Council them whenever they need me but now we've exceeded the original scope of what I was supposed to do. The lady who is my friend knows I've had feelings for. I've been very direct about that since the beginning, the excuse I've been getting is at first she needed time to get over her last relationship. Then with all the trauma from the accident she said she was in crisis mode and she would like a year to get to know me before she made up her mind. A year and a month after she's known me. I went back and she moved the goal post again to an undefined time in the future when she is not in crisis mode. The drain on my finances wasn't an issue for me when I thought that I could be supporting my future wife right now, but now that I see how flaky she is about it. While I still want to help, I feel like all of the work I've done is useless. She's also been pulling away a bit, she tells me she's been pulling away from her family as well and just isolating herself but she always makes dumb excuses. Like yesterday she claims she was only awake for 4 hours throughout the entire day. I'm quite addicted to this woman, I mean it's not every day you find a woman with the exact same hobbies as you and sense of humor, I tried cutting it off for 3 weeks but I ended up caving in and coming back to her. I told her last time around when I left that she had until April to figure out what she was going to do as I didn't sign up to be a life subsidy for someone who wouldn't commit to me. For context, I've seen the hospital photos of the family and I've spoken to her at length. I'm a pretty big skeptic myself yet, I don't think she's a liar. I'm trying to figure out what I should do, I do want to wait for her but I don't know if it's going to take her one five or 10 years to get over this. Specifically for the ladies, do you think she is being sincere? Or am I just being used?

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Joel

INTP

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If you want to help someone out of charity, can afford it easily and there's no expectations for anything in return, go for it. Financial dependency usually won't improve a relationship for either side. And in my personal experience, nothing good ever came from waiting for a woman to make up her mind for more than a few weeks.

James Carter

ESFP

Aries

Yeah no not gonna lie you should prolly just not pay for their financial issues. If they cant figure it out then your only hurting your self. To me it sounds like shes only baiting you to keep paying cause you did it to help in the beginning but you need to worry about you first before her cause she clearly doesnt do the same for you

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