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1mo
How do you get past the notion that you are not worthy of having a girlfriend?
I always had this idea in my brain that I'm not good enough to have a girlfriend. That I'm ugly(I haven't found anyone that seem to show any interest in me.) And not successful enough to have do be in my life. How do I get past this ? It's really not attractive to be self pitying but I do not know how to drop that mindset.
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1mo
7w8
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First you do deserve one. Second you are attractive from your photos.. Perhaps that is depression talking, maybe even seasonal or something different in combo with low self Esteem. You get past it doing baby steps at a time towards your goal of the type person you are looking for.... That is my assessment from just what you said. I could be wrong.
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1mo
2w1
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I suffered from the same thing and it just came from not being where I wanted to be in life. I cleaned my life out and left what really mattered to me and I couldn't be any happier about it
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1mo
@Casey Thank you for this reply. It seems like new knowledge to me.
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1mo
7w8
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Reevaluate yourself, find things to be positive about, go through making a profile and answer questions, review those answers. It's hard because it requires you to actually take a good long look at yourself. Even look at your life and the people you've met, the life you've lived has many lessons to teach. Unless you have the desperate incel mindset, there'd be something good about you. I've just begun my journey of getting over feeling ugly, and that's at least 15 years of negativity built up.
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1mo
2w1
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This, plus you have to terribly honest with yourself, which I think is hard for some people
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1mo
Ikr? Me too, tbh I think online dating apps are just making things worse
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1mo
Yeah sane here, but there are some really good replies that can probably help.I think we just have to love ourselves and take care of ourselves.
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1mo
5w6
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You need to convince yourself you're exactly who you want to be. It's the only way to actually become it.
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1mo
Thank you.
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1mo
4w5
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Well firstly, come to terms with the fact that beauty is subjective & you're not ugly.
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1mo
2w3
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Cultivate a self you value. If you feel ugly, examine why. Explore ways of dressing and caring for yourself that make you feel attractive and content. Follow that process with each thing you struggle with, examine if a change in behavior (what you are doing) or mindset (how you think about what you do) is called for until happiness sneaks in. Keep looking for a partner, but spend just as much time caring for yourself too.
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1mo
Once you get one they'll only ever just want things from you. You should be asking yourself if any girl is worthy of that.
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1mo
Can you elaborate by what you mean by things?
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1mo
@Ace money, gifts, chores. Most of em just want you to act like a parent more than a boyfriend. Know your worth more than that.
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1mo
@Dylan I don't think I'd want a girlfriend where I have to parent. But I do know a few girls who aren't like that either.
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1mo
I struggle the same. I think you already have a lot of valuable comments here. I could only say that it's a journey: you have to find out how and why you have this image of yourself. I can find many people who are not single and still are not that pretty, in today's standards. This is because it's all in our head... Im trying to work on my trauma myself and I get to understand the inner critique is actually a wounded child that didn't receive the love and care they needed... Now, I'm trying to work on myself, and give to myself the love I need and that I'm seeking into other people.
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1mo
7w6
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Magic mushrooms. heal your brain and your spirit. And be who you are meant to be.
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