Eric

Posted Friday, November 3, 2023

1y

ENTJ

Scorpio

5

4

Prison - A short story

I wrote this years ago and never published it for some reason. Maybe someone here will relate with this. It wasn't always this way. There was once a time when I was able to experience the world for what it was, or rather, what I saw it to be. I remember how grass and dirt felt between my toes on a cool spring morning. I can recall the smell of the air as the wind gusted my face and the dandelion seeds would tickle. I can remember all of the small sensations that I would feel every day. But somehow, I can't remember how I got here. It's been a long time. Years, or maybe even decades since I arrived here. But I can't remember exactly when. And I can't remember how it happened. Maybe I had a lapse of memory and wandered away. Maybe someone lead me here by mistake and then left me alone? Either way, it doesn't change anything. I've made this place my new home, whether I like it or not. I just need to accept the facts. Sometimes, it's dark here. Not a single ray of light makes it in. The wall seems to be a solid slab, no weak points of cracks anywhere to be found. And I don't feel the cool breeze of wind anymore. It's cold, definitely, but that's different. The air is stagnant, and it's uncomfortable to inhale it, but I seem to have gotten accustomed to it. It could be much worse. Sometimes I will cough. And sometimes I will spit up thick chunks of my own body. They are black and grey and very moist. I like to call them "friends". I don't care much for the food here. It's awfully bland, and scrapes my gums a bit. Sometimes, that's not so bad. The blood adds some flavor to the sustenance I consume. I wonder if the pain I feel from eating has to do with my old, useless teeth falling out. Or maybe my teeth become brittle and break because the food is just that awful. I like to rub my tongue against the gums where I once had beautiful pearly teeth. I can feel my heart beat through my gums and jaw. It's times like that which remind me that yes, I am still alive. I feel the ground below me and it isn't grass I feel. It looks to be grass, but this is not grass as we know. This grass is sharp and grainy, like gravel lining a beaten path. What once was grass caressing my feet like strands of silk, now have been traded for pebbles and shards, wedged beneath the toenails and within the webs betwixt my toes. I search for soft earth, but find more of the same painful roads. Gone are the days of comfort. Arrived are the days of strife. I think back of the lighter times, the happy mornings. I remember a face amongst more faces in which I once knew and loved. I remember these faces no more, as they fade into the back of my mind, some of which to never be remembered again. However the one face lingers. It hangs in the middle as the rest disappear. When only one of two remains, the face reveals itself as a woman. A woman she was, of such beauty and grace that the mere look in her eyes was enough to melt a man in his tracks. The woman in my mind stares through my soul and with a crack and a twist, a pop and a shock, she cackles. Her devilish cackle consumes the grace that she once wore with ease. Her true nature shows and a devil she becomes. As I turn away and run for my life, she pursues without a sweat or a step, gliding through my mind. No matter what I try, she will never suspend the chase, I never will escape. Not with my sanity intact. Her cold breath stays still on my shoulder as my fleeing slows to a halt. No matter what I do or where I go, she will be there. I cannot escape it. I feel her hands slowly scrape my cheeks from behind my head and into my eyes her fingers sink. I scream and moan, but it's already dark and the other faces are nowhere to be found. My twitching limbs tremble and one last time, I hear the Banshee's shriek. Awaken. That's the point I awake every time. Whenever I try to remember my past, I'm greeted with that dream, no, nightmare. Now here I am again, alone and confused, behind this wall, eating this gruel, sitting on the stones, breathing this air. None of it satisfies me or makes sense to me. I just dredge through the hours on the clock that ticks incessantly. How I wish that one day, another soul would come to visit. Come to say hello, or to even look at me. Someone must still remember that I am alive, right? There’s no way that I could be forgotten. That would be worse than death! I wonder who the woman was. She was so beautiful and her essence felt so warm and welcoming. It felt like home, a home that’s long been lost. I wonder if this woman was the reason for my entrapment in this wretched place. If so, I wish that for one moment, I could meet her again. Then I would tell her that what she did was wrong! And that I would chose to not be her friend! And that she- What’s that? I know I talk to myself quite a bit but you too must have heard that. Maybe at last I have a visitor of my own. I have not been completely forgotten, and I will at last find my way out of here, out of this endless cell. I run as fast as I can, through all of the stones and shards. I run as fast as I can, breaking the stale and stiff air I resist to breathe. I run as fast as I can and out to the edge of the world that I’ve built for myself, at long last in desperation I peer across the horizon and in the center of my mind I see…. The woman. The woman stands before me. Not as the devilish fiend of horrible thoughts, but as the graceful angel who wishes to free me of my darkest hole. Again, I look into her eyes, and she looks into my soul. The bright white light is a blessing onto the broken and tattered man I’ve become. She reaches out in front of her, and grazes her fingers onto my cheeks. Tears well up into my eyes and roll down my face and she smiles the sweetest of smiles. As she moves her hands from my face, my head hangs and I see her reaching into a satchel. She pulls out…a book. I take the book from her hands, and with a crack and a twist, a pop and a shock, she cackles. Her devilish cackle consumes the grace that she once wore with ease. Her true nature shows and a devil she becomes, once again. As I turn away and run for my life, she pursues without a sweat or a step, gliding through my mind. No matter what I try, she will never suspend the chase, I never will escape. Not with my sanity intact. This time though, I will not fear her, as I know that I should no longer fear for my sanity. None of that exists anymore. I threw it all away when I became the prisoner. This time, I will stand against the demon. I will look her in the eyes as she peers into my soul. As the gap between us closes and she emerges from behind, I turn and hold my breath and stare into the cackling face. I open my mouth, we scream. The earth trembles, the ground cracks and crumbles. She never slows down. I brace myself for impact. Awaken. I look around. The woman is gone. I feel my hands along the crumbly road. I inhale the blistering air. I prepare for the limitless darkness. Except this time, the ground is soft and welcoming. I touch it and blades of grass caress my fingers. I inhale the air with a deep sigh, and can taste the cool spring morning in my lungs. I look to the sky and it's bright and blue. I've finally escaped my cage and made it back to the life I once knew and loved! What a glorious day this one is indeed. I look to the horizon, and a figure approaches. A figure that is so very familiar to me. The figure reveals itself and it is no one other than the woman. As she passes by me gently, I can hear it. I can hear the wretched cackle inside of her mind. Inside of my mind. It seems that the truth here is, I'll never be free. I'll never be free from myself. (edited)