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Universes
Posted Saturday, June 25, 2022
2y
ENFP
Capricorn
First Date Vibes
Who should pay on a first date🤔 My friend recently went on a first date with a guy and happily it went really well until it came to paying the bill and he wouldn't let her pay a thing.. my friend hated this and isn't sure about going on a second date🙈 So who should pay the bill?
Him
Her
Split the bill...
293 votes
15
70
Comment
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Stefan
2y
INFJ
Capricorn
Whoever invited ?
8
0
Reply
Tim
2y
ENFJ
Libra
I had this exact situation once with a first date. We had already known each other in person, got to be friends from talking over a few weeks, I ask her out and she says yes. When the bill comes she insists on paying! 😳I politely said it's okay I can do it, but she insists, says I can pay the tip. I didn't want to make it an issue so I relented and she paid. Later on she admitted she wanted me to fight her more on it because she really didn't have the money for it, says it's a woman thing... Reading the comments here I guess she thought I would feel entitled to making out if I paid. But given how we related before I asked her out I would be surprised she would think that. C'est la vie. 🤷 (edited)
1
3
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Long
2y
ISFJ
Virgo
Your friend seems to be so upset about this one factor that she is willing to ignore all the other positive experiences the guy went out of his way to provide. Either the rest of the date did not go as well as you described, or she is associating a lot more complications to paying the bill.
1
0
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Jessy
2y
INTJ
Scorpio
Why is he being judged for this? She needs to communicate with him in a serious manner that it's totally fine for her to pay her own way. It might take some insisting. From a cultural standpoint these ideas are enforced, it's unlikely to be a sign of anything bad, but rather an idea that's been drilled into all of us from all the way back when we were kids. If it went well enough to cause a line of communication that lead to this questioning, it went well enough to give the guy another chance and have some patience with that. These things certainly shouldn't have anything to do with gender, but we REALLY aren't used to this. Maybe she should attempt to strike a deal with him that dictates that they take turns?
1
0
Reply
Ricco
2y
INFJ
Aries
Personally my GF doesn't like me to pay for everything and since we share everything including our finances it doesn't matter at all since it's basically our money anyway. If I have easily available money I'll pay or vice versa, if she needs money I send her money , if I need money she sends me money. We don't play that would gender thing it's a relationship , a team. I personally would consider it a red flag if a girl never tried to split a bill , I don't care if your broke if you at LEAST show me you would or tried to that's good enough for me and I'll cover the whole thing no issues and don't expect anything in return as I don't and never will count favors (edited)
1
0
Reply
Lynne
2y
INTP
Gemini
It really depends on what you mean by a 'first date". As far as I'm concerned if you met online and this is your first meeting, it's not a real date and each person should pay for themselves. Too many men think you owe them something if they pay. If it's someone you already know and have met, and he's the one asking, it wouldn't be wrong to split the bill but I wouldn't make an issue of it if he insists on paying. I'm 52, though, so young people might feel differently.
1
0
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Jim
2y
INFP
Virgo
I would always offer, and expect, to pay on the first date but expect the woman to pay on the second (unless she's particularly poor) but it's nice if she offers to split the bill. I know it's tradition but it's more about mutual respect for me and tells you something about your date. What she does is an indication of whether she is worth continuing with, so it's useful to offer to pay and see if she takes it for granted or whatever. But communication is key to any good relationship.
0
0
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Sophie
2y
ENFP
Pisces
I always go on a date prepared to split the bill, but I don't necessarily feel uncomfortable if my date otters to cover it. I'm always grateful if they do, but I never expect it, if that makes sense. And if there is a second date, I offer to cover it if they got the first one
0
0
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Sokol
2y
INFP
Aquarius
Whatever works I guess, but I personally would pay it whole, it doesn't matter to me, but ive never been on a date before so idk (edited)
0
0
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Phil
2y
INTP
Capricorn
Who ever is taking the other out on a date should pay
0
0
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Kam
12mo
ESFP
Gemini
Split two way for sample we go different direction one get tickets 🎟 and other get food and popcorn 🍿 unless guy want to pay for first date I will let them but not let girl pay at all I can't except.know how your friend feel I would end it before it gets worst been through it and move on (edited)
0
0
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David
2y
INFJ
Cancer
I usually pay if I invite someone out, but there have been times where It has been split.
0
0
Reply
SleeplessSongbird
2y
INTJ
Aries
I definitely prefer to split the bill. I find it very outdated to expect one person to cover everything. Also, one blind date an ex friend forced me to go on tried to pull this and let's just say he was absolutely a nightmare as he felt entitled after insisting on paying.
0
0
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Pat
2y
INFJ
Virgo
I like splitting the bill haha
0
0
Reply
Clark
2y
ENTJ
Cancer
Just take turns paying the bill. That way there will be a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th more dates and so on.
0
0
Reply
Charleey
Author
2y
ENFP
Capricorn
Wow!! So many interesting opinions on this... Isnt it just crazy that we still debate about this... Me personally I don't expect any guy to pay for me on a first date!
0
0
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CJ
1y
ESFP
Aries
Just split it, dont see a reason not to, both sides agreed to it in the first place
0
0
Reply
Tyler
2y
INFP
Cancer
So why is it such a problem for him not to let her pay? That sounds a little petty like seriously? A guy should be able to pay for a date to show he likes a female and to show he's willing to take care of her and treat her every now and then and if that's a problem you probably shouldn't be going on dates because all that sounds like is petty feminism that doesn't belong on a date it's stupid and your friend has no reason to be mad except for being petty a guy is willing to treat her to a date if your really that petty to be mad about him paying well..there won't be a second date 💯💯💯
0
1
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Josh
2y
ENTP
Leo
I say split the bill, but really I see it this way, whoever asked the other person out/started the idea pays. And if both work together to pick the date then either split the bill or take turns date by date.
0
0
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Mike
2y
INTJ
Taurus
I prefer to pay on the first date but is also important for her to offer. Most are insistent so am cool if she gets the tip. After that I have done split, you then me or all me.....cool with any. Paying never means I expect someting besides good conversation during the meal. Honestly, if I don't pay I feel like a cheap bastard and I don't like feeling that way. (edited)
0
0
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Ben
2y
INTJ
Virgo
I think it's largely going to depend on how things turn out. If I asked a girl out and she said yes (never going to happen, on both accounts) then I wouldn't expect her to pay for the events. If anything it would be split, but if I felt things were going really well and I liked her a lot, then I wouldn't mind paying and then hoping to set up another night out. If I wasn't really feeling the vibe or the chemistry just wasn't there then split the bill and then move on.
0
0
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