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Universes
Posted Sunday, April 23, 2023
1y
ENFP
Gemini
Is it a deal breaker?
Ok for those who are single with no kids.. or even with kids, let's include them all haha. Is dating someone who has kids a deal breaker for you?
38
121
Comment
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262 SOULS
Will
1y
INTP
Pisces
Depends on the situation. I know I'm not at a place in my life to be someone's new dad, so if that's what she/they are looking for then yes it is. But if you're a human with little humans who's looking to get to know someone before introduction to your kids... Yeah I'm down.
5
8
Reply
Dayton
1y
INTP
Leo
Yes, and for a couple reasons. I'll never have the same authority over them as I would if they were my biological kids. So equal responsibility but less authority. 2nd, is having my girl tied to another man in some capacity for at least until the kids turn 18 is often asking for drama. And lastly, if I really bond with the kid(s) and the relationship were to end, I have no right to those kids, so I just lost a relationship with the woman, and the kids that I grew attached to. It's unfortunate, and I love kids, I'd love to have a lot in the future, but it's a hard struggle to get past those hurdles
3
2
Reply
Stephanie
1y
ISTJ
Taurus
It became a deal breaker to me after my last relationship. She had an 11 year old and on our fourth date asked me to meet her, which I thought was nice but too soon, and she agreed then. Just also note that both her and her daughter still live with her parents, so she has that extra support system as well. But when we decided to date, one situation happened that made me feel like she would always put me and her daughter on a competition level. I made a comment about a situation that made me feel frustrated and she accused of of competing with her daughter. Meaning that if I ever said something she disagreed with or that her daughter wouldn't like, I would be shunned. That felt like incompatible behaviour as to someone who said she wanted a serious relationship with me. Also added the fact that she wasn't entirely out of the closet yet, so she didn't want to tell her parents about us and, because of that obviously, I could never even just to go to her house to hang out. Also note that I ended up never meeting the daughter. Because of her personal issues too, she would only allow herself to go out with me when her daughter was with the dad. So yeah. It is a deal breaker to me nawadays. I'd rather not be put in that situation again.
2
1
Reply
Alan
1y
ENFP
Gemini
When your dating preference is over 30, then you can't have that deal breaker, otherwise, enjoy staying single
1
1
Reply
Anayansi
1y
INTJ
Gemini
I am 23 so at this point it is a deal breaker, I’m just not in the position to be a positive addition to someone’s family. And as a child of divorced parents, I remember how difficult it has been growing up with the expectation of having a good relationship with my parent’s (respectives) bf and new wife, it was uncomfortable and annoying, and I hated having to “share” what was left of my family with someone else. So, I wouldn’t want to be a part of that. Maybe when I’m older I change my mind, be more open, and maybe then I could feel more secure and mature to have a good and positive relationship. But as for now, I don’t think it’s a good idea.
1
1
Reply
Maya
9mo
INTJ
Virgo
I’m in my 20s and that wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me as long as it’s ONE CHILD and he’s a widower🤧(I’m not wrong for preferring that), a good man to me and the child is accepting of me and not unnecessarily hateful when I’m good to them. I just hate it when some females with a kid or kids decides to date or marry a single father too then when the man is good to her child or children, she still decides to turn the relationship of the father and his biological child sour yet he accepts hers and she doesn’t want to accept his. I’ve come across such females and it’s sad to me. We live in a world of many bad people and a few good ones out there. Being in that situation, if I have a soulmate and he’s a single parent with an accepting child, I wouldn’t mind. (edited)
2
0
Reply
Raquel S
1y
INFP
Gemini
The real deal breaker I'd when the other person tries to force their son feelings on me like... You need to give her a kiss or a hug.. the kid barely knows me, I don't like that I always tell them, kids need to know the persom naturally not be forced to know them...my ex had that attitudeI would always tell him, let her ( his daughter) have the time she needs to know me... The fact is, he his now my ex, she is still in my daily life. :)
1
1
Reply
Ariel Contreras
1y
ESTP
Pisces
No it's not!!
1
0
Reply
Nicholas
1y
INFP
Cancer
I have dated, and even been engaged to a woman with kids. It wasn't something I thought I would do, but I gave it a try. The kids were in their teens, and I don't think they ever saw it possible for me to be a 'father figure' to them, despite my attempts. I feel like that was the hardest part for me. Despite being accepted by her, I was never accepted by the kids. Because of that, I try to avoid it unless my heart overrides my head.
0
2
Reply
Heather
Author
1y
ENFP
Gemini
K for those of you who it is a deal breaker for, why is that? For those of you who said it's an opportunity to be a father, was that your stand point/want from the relationship? Or was that kinda implied by who you were dating? My kiddos have a dad so anyone who I decide to have a relationship wouldn't be stepping into dad role expectations. If they WANTED to act like a father figure in time, maybe years down the road ok. I just don't feel like that's an expectation that should be put on someone who's dating someone with kids 🤔
1
0
Reply
Bill
1y
INFP
It's not a deal breaker (edited)
1
0
Reply
Miguel
1y
ENTJ
Well, considering I'm 20, yes, it is a deal breaker, it is quite a big red flag to be a single mom at my age. That said, if I was still single at the age of 30+ I would probably have to readjust my expectations. It is a natural desire to want to build your own family, and taking someone else kids as yours is less than ideal, but sometimes you just find yourself in a situation where that may be the best choice.
1
0
Reply
Sarah
1y
ESFP
Scorpio
Nope
1
0
Reply
Bryan
1y
ENFP
Scorpio
It honestly varies. One kid, no. More than one, yes. I like kids but the financial concerns would be on my mind. Also, I think some mom's have not so great expectations when it comes to dating a man with no kids/responsibility. (Also some men are just not looking to be responsible for someone else's kids) It's a mixed bag, but single mothers are becoming more common. Guys will either be open to them or not.
0
3
Reply
alan
1y
INTJ
Scorpio
It depends. Is she's still in contact with her ex and how's their relationship? I don't want that guy around my life nor get in the middle of their issues. And her kid is her responsibility and obligation first. (edited)
1
0
Reply
Charon
1y
ENFJ
Cancer
I would say it depends. For example, if you're like my age or younger and already have kids (if planed or not, doesn't matter) it would be really hard to accept it for me. Like, I know I'm ready (cause most of the time I had to raise my sisters) but yet it could be a deal breaker. But I've you're like 40, 50 or older it is quite common that there will be kids in the relationship, so you have to get along with. Also I think that at this age the most kids are at least near oder over 18 and not 3 or something like that 😂. But it is very hard to say... cause you can meet someone, that is so perfect and makes you feel nice, you take the deal breaker at all risks🙈
1
0
Reply
Ginny
1y
INTJ
Virgo
Id only date someone whom had children. Otherwise, that person would never understand the love I have for my own.
1
0
Reply
OJ
1y
ENFJ
Taurus
Wouldn't be a deal breaker for me but it depends on the situation
1
0
Reply
Dakota Doak
1y
ISTJ
Cancer
For me personally it is a deal breaker because I watched one of my friends go through a situation where she introduced him to her kids, they were all good for a while, then come to find out her oldest (he was like 8 or 9 yrs old) started throwing fists with my friend who never fought back or raised his hands towards the kid or the woman and the kid gave him a black eye on more than one occasion and the woman wouldn't do anything about her child even after he asked her to handle the issue, well it ended up with the kid repeatedly punching my friend in his man bits and when he bent the kid over his knee to paddle his butt the mother called the cops, said my friend touched her kid inappropriately, now my buddy is on the S.O list all because the woman wouldn't discipline her brat of a child. NOW I'm not saying all single parents are like that, in fact most aren't, but it's so easy for males to be put on that kind of list that it's just not worth putting myself at risk
0
3
Reply
Ryan
1y
INTP
Virgo
I'd like to have my own someday so I'd be open to the experience if they were open for that.
1
0
Reply
Patrick
1y
INTP
Virgo
Nah it ain't a deal breaker for me if she has a kid or kids. I just hope I can bring positivity and joy to her and her kids as well.
1
0
Reply
Nicola
1y
ISTJ
Pisces
Depends on many factors, i think firstly i must get along with their mother then the rest.. 😳
1
0
Reply
Radoslav
1y
ENTP
Pisces
Never again
1
0
Reply
Daniel
1y
ISFJ
Capricorn
It is a deal breaker... If your are 35+, and you compare your pet with a child ... 🤭🤭🤭
1
0
Reply
Nikko
1y
ISFP
Gemini
Nope
0
0
Reply
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