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Heather
Heather

1y

ENFP

Gemini

9
1

Is it a deal breaker?

Ok for those who are single with no kids.. or even with kids, let's include them all haha. Is dating someone who has kids a deal breaker for you?

38

121

Comment

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Will

Will

1y

INTP

Pisces

5
4

Depends on the situation. I know I'm not at a place in my life to be someone's new dad, so if that's what she/they are looking for then yes it is. But if you're a human with little humans who's looking to get to know someone before introduction to your kids... Yeah I'm down.

5

8

Reply

Dayton

Dayton

1y

INTP

Leo

Yes, and for a couple reasons. I'll never have the same authority over them as I would if they were my biological kids. So equal responsibility but less authority. 2nd, is having my girl tied to another man in some capacity for at least until the kids turn 18 is often asking for drama. And lastly, if I really bond with the kid(s) and the relationship were to end, I have no right to those kids, so I just lost a relationship with the woman, and the kids that I grew attached to. It's unfortunate, and I love kids, I'd love to have a lot in the future, but it's a hard struggle to get past those hurdles

3

2

Reply

Trent

Trent

1y

INTP

Aquarius

2
1

Not advantageous. Only way that works is if both people havw kids.

3

4

Reply

Stephanie

Stephanie

1y

ISTJ

Taurus

It became a deal breaker to me after my last relationship. She had an 11 year old and on our fourth date asked me to meet her, which I thought was nice but too soon, and she agreed then. Just also note that both her and her daughter still live with her parents, so she has that extra support system as well. But when we decided to date, one situation happened that made me feel like she would always put me and her daughter on a competition level. I made a comment about a situation that made me feel frustrated and she accused of of competing with her daughter. Meaning that if I ever said something she disagreed with or that her daughter wouldn't like, I would be shunned. That felt like incompatible behaviour as to someone who said she wanted a serious relationship with me. Also added the fact that she wasn't entirely out of the closet yet, so she didn't want to tell her parents about us and, because of that obviously, I could never even just to go to her house to hang out. Also note that I ended up never meeting the daughter. Because of her personal issues too, she would only allow herself to go out with me when her daughter was with the dad. So yeah. It is a deal breaker to me nawadays. I'd rather not be put in that situation again.

2

1

Reply

Alan

Alan

1y

ENFP

Gemini

When your dating preference is over 30, then you can't have that deal breaker, otherwise, enjoy staying single

1

1

Reply

Anayansi

Anayansi

1y

INTJ

Gemini

5
6

I am 23 so at this point it is a deal breaker, I’m just not in the position to be a positive addition to someone’s family. And as a child of divorced parents, I remember how difficult it has been growing up with the expectation of having a good relationship with my parent’s (respectives) bf and new wife, it was uncomfortable and annoying, and I hated having to “share” what was left of my family with someone else. So, I wouldn’t want to be a part of that. Maybe when I’m older I change my mind, be more open, and maybe then I could feel more secure and mature to have a good and positive relationship. But as for now, I don’t think it’s a good idea.

1

1

Reply

Maya

Maya

9mo

INTJ

Virgo

9
8

I’m in my 20s and that wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me as long as it’s ONE CHILD and he’s a widower🤧(I’m not wrong for preferring that), a good man to me and the child is accepting of me and not unnecessarily hateful when I’m good to them. I just hate it when some females with a kid or kids decides to date or marry a single father too then when the man is good to her child or children, she still decides to turn the relationship of the father and his biological child sour yet he accepts hers and she doesn’t want to accept his. I’ve come across such females and it’s sad to me. We live in a world of many bad people and a few good ones out there. Being in that situation, if I have a soulmate and he’s a single parent with an accepting child, I wouldn’t mind. (edited)

2

0

Reply

Raquel S

Raquel S

1y

INFP

Gemini

The real deal breaker I'd when the other person tries to force their son feelings on me like... You need to give her a kiss or a hug.. the kid barely knows me, I don't like that I always tell them, kids need to know the persom naturally not be forced to know them...my ex had that attitudeI would always tell him, let her ( his daughter) have the time she needs to know me... The fact is, he his now my ex, she is still in my daily life. :)

1

1

Reply

Heather

Heather

Author

1y

ENFP

Gemini

9
1

Thank you for those contributing their opinions here. I love seeing how everyone's opinions vary and why 🤗

2

0

Reply

Tyler

Tyler

1y

INTJ

Leo

8
7

Depends on the parenting style. If the kid is chill then i have no issue. If the kids breaks my stuff and the one i'm dating constantly defends them without trying to fix the problem,then yes.

2

0

Reply

Manix

Manix

1y

INFP

Pisces

It depends. I dated someone with kids and we all got along fine. They would even ask when the next time I'm coming over. However, if me and whomever date has kids that can't get along with me, that might be a deal breaker.

1

1

Reply

Ariel Contreras

Ariel Contreras

1y

ESTP

Pisces

No it's not!!

1

0

Reply

Dan

Dan

1y

ENFP

Taurus

For me it is, as I don't want kids. But i imagine this is a really subjective things, and depends heavily person to person!

1

0

Reply

Nicholas

Nicholas

1y

INFP

Cancer

9
1

I have dated, and even been engaged to a woman with kids. It wasn't something I thought I would do, but I gave it a try. The kids were in their teens, and I don't think they ever saw it possible for me to be a 'father figure' to them, despite my attempts. I feel like that was the hardest part for me. Despite being accepted by her, I was never accepted by the kids. Because of that, I try to avoid it unless my heart overrides my head.

0

2

Reply

S✨✨

S✨✨

1y

INTJ

Gemini

6
7

The freedom is gone completely unless they are adults so I believe it definitely depends on several things

0

2

Reply

J S

J S

1y

INTP

Leo

8
7

Ye

0

1

Reply

Brandon

Brandon

1y

INFJ

Gemini

6
5

I wouldn't date someone with a kid if they didn't want anymore, as I aspire to be a dad for my own children someday. It is a bit of a deal breaker, unless they're down for more. Then their kid is now my kid too.

1

0

Reply

Heather

Heather

Author

1y

ENFP

Gemini

9
1

K for those of you who it is a deal breaker for, why is that? For those of you who said it's an opportunity to be a father, was that your stand point/want from the relationship? Or was that kinda implied by who you were dating? My kiddos have a dad so anyone who I decide to have a relationship wouldn't be stepping into dad role expectations. If they WANTED to act like a father figure in time, maybe years down the road ok. I just don't feel like that's an expectation that should be put on someone who's dating someone with kids 🤔

1

0

Reply

Tomas

Tomas

1y

ISFJ

Aquarius

That depends on what kind of parent they are... If they are a good parent, then I would definitely give them a chance. I have a 5 year old daughter, and I'm not bringing anyone around her until I know exactly what kind of person they are. (edited)

1

0

Reply

Ben

Ben

1y

ENTP

Pisces

2
1

Nope.

1

0

Reply

Bill

Bill

1y

INFP

1
2

It's not a deal breaker (edited)

1

0

Reply

Miguel

Miguel

1y

ENTJ

6
7

Well, considering I'm 20, yes, it is a deal breaker, it is quite a big red flag to be a single mom at my age. That said, if I was still single at the age of 30+ I would probably have to readjust my expectations. It is a natural desire to want to build your own family, and taking someone else kids as yours is less than ideal, but sometimes you just find yourself in a situation where that may be the best choice.

1

0

Reply

Sarah

Sarah

1y

ESFP

Scorpio

7
8

Nope

1

0

Reply

Troy

Troy

1y

ENTP

Scorpio

5
4

Yes. On one hand, I think I'd be a great dad. On the other, I barely keep my life together and I'd hate to influence another person's kids in any way as that's not my place.

0

1

Reply

Bryan

Bryan

1y

ENFP

Scorpio

8
7

It honestly varies. One kid, no. More than one, yes. I like kids but the financial concerns would be on my mind. Also, I think some mom's have not so great expectations when it comes to dating a man with no kids/responsibility. (Also some men are just not looking to be responsible for someone else's kids) It's a mixed bag, but single mothers are becoming more common. Guys will either be open to them or not.

0

3

Reply

alan

alan

1y

INTJ

Scorpio

7
8

It depends. Is she's still in contact with her ex and how's their relationship? I don't want that guy around my life nor get in the middle of their issues. And her kid is her responsibility and obligation first. (edited)

1

0

Reply

Charon

Charon

1y

ENFJ

Cancer

2
3

I would say it depends. For example, if you're like my age or younger and already have kids (if planed or not, doesn't matter) it would be really hard to accept it for me. Like, I know I'm ready (cause most of the time I had to raise my sisters) but yet it could be a deal breaker. But I've you're like 40, 50 or older it is quite common that there will be kids in the relationship, so you have to get along with. Also I think that at this age the most kids are at least near oder over 18 and not 3 or something like that 😂. But it is very hard to say... cause you can meet someone, that is so perfect and makes you feel nice, you take the deal breaker at all risks🙈

1

0

Reply

Ginny

Ginny

1y

INTJ

Virgo

8
7

Id only date someone whom had children. Otherwise, that person would never understand the love I have for my own.

1

0

Reply

Corvid Crane

Corvid Crane

1y

INTP

Capricorn

My gf now has a 12 year old daughter and she’s every bit as bratty as her mother. Not a deal breaker to have kids, but it does make more than one person you’re gonna have to fall for and that’s the hard part for someone without kids.

1

0

Reply

Lhei

Lhei

1y

ISTJ

Aquarius

6
7

Personally, no. But I actually think that you have to be a very special person to be able to love a child that isn't biologically yours. That's why I salute step parents who genuinely love their children equally.

1

0

Reply

OJ

OJ

1y

ENFJ

Taurus

Wouldn't be a deal breaker for me but it depends on the situation

1

0

Reply

Dakota Doak

Dakota Doak

1y

ISTJ

Cancer

6
5

For me personally it is a deal breaker because I watched one of my friends go through a situation where she introduced him to her kids, they were all good for a while, then come to find out her oldest (he was like 8 or 9 yrs old) started throwing fists with my friend who never fought back or raised his hands towards the kid or the woman and the kid gave him a black eye on more than one occasion and the woman wouldn't do anything about her child even after he asked her to handle the issue, well it ended up with the kid repeatedly punching my friend in his man bits and when he bent the kid over his knee to paddle his butt the mother called the cops, said my friend touched her kid inappropriately, now my buddy is on the S.O list all because the woman wouldn't discipline her brat of a child. NOW I'm not saying all single parents are like that, in fact most aren't, but it's so easy for males to be put on that kind of list that it's just not worth putting myself at risk

0

3

Reply

Ryan

Ryan

1y

INTP

Virgo

8
7

I'd like to have my own someday so I'd be open to the experience if they were open for that.

1

0

Reply

Patrick

Patrick

1y

INTP

Virgo

8
7

Nah it ain't a deal breaker for me if she has a kid or kids. I just hope I can bring positivity and joy to her and her kids as well.

1

0

Reply

Nicola

Nicola

1y

ISTJ

Pisces

5
4

Depends on many factors, i think firstly i must get along with their mother then the rest.. 😳

1

0

Reply

Radoslav

Radoslav

1y

ENTP

Pisces

Never again

1

0

Reply

Daniel

Daniel

1y

ISFJ

Capricorn

It is a deal breaker... If your are 35+, and you compare your pet with a child ... 🤭🤭🤭

1

0

Reply

Nikko

Nikko

1y

ISFP

Gemini

Nope

0

0

Reply

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#singleparent

Trayvon Wheeler
Trayvon Wheeler

9mo

INFP

Scorpio

I need new friends 😭😭

5

3

#singleparent

Gypsy
Gypsy

10mo

ENTJ

Scorpio

7
8

Mothers are the bravest

She still would have cooked, washed, cleaned and cared before going to the market to purchase this for sale. And will cook again at night, and also tend to the pain in her back, her knees and ankles Mothers are indeed the bravest 🙏🙏💪💪🌼🌼😭😭💎💎 (edited)

Mothers are the bravest

7

3

#singleparent

Andrea
Andrea

10mo

ENTJ

Leo

6
7

Single Parents - would you rather...

Are you only open to single individuals with no children, or would you rather prefer to be with someone who has kids already? (edited)

4

5

#singleparent

Genesis
Genesis

11mo

ENTJ

6
7

Hello parents, I have a question for you today(: Has a previous partner expressed to you that they didn’t feel like a priority because of your time availability/schedule as a parent?

0:47

5

4