Respect

Question

There's a specific person in my family that respects others based on if you're married or not. She even has a whole table of photos in her home of all the married people in the family. So obviously I'm the only one excluded from it. The table didn't always have that theme. I use to have a photo of myself there that my father had placed there and she took it down. It's a very uneasy feeling to know that you're not respected like your other siblings are in the family. I'm coming to terms with it. But some days it's hard especially when other family members behave similarly towards you. Might delete this because this is the most vulnerable I've been on here. But I'd appreciate any words of comfort. Today's been weird for me.

Berdarien · Accepted Answer

Show her what's up.

IceMelon · Answer

You don't deserve that, you get married when your good and ready, not because someone doesn't respect you, your feelings matter, I hope you know that much love ♥ I respect you 👍

Sarah · Answer

I would avoid this person like a plague , she is clearly doing it on purpose to hurt you but don't let her see that. 
I would put my photo there just to piss her off and keep putting it there everytime she removes it I would probably take it a step further and remove her photos in anything that I deem meaningful and see how she likes it.

Marko · Answer

No need to bother yourself with that.  Every single person will find that one person for themselves. Just be patient and it will happen.

Ohara · Answer

Querida tenha por perto somente pessoas que te fazem bem e te tratam bem. Eu imagino que não tenha sido fácil para você lidar com isso, mais lembre-se As pessoas e coisas tem a importância que nós damos a elas. Dê importância ao que realmente importa e ignore ela e seja feliz. Fique bem ❤️‍🩹

Nichelle · Answer

Wow that's EXACTLY the same thing in my family. My own father has criticized me numerous times in the past over it. I totally understand what you mean and it's horrible how you're looked at. It does seem that married women get more respect which isn't fair. If you don't know someone's story, there should be no judging involved.

BiaN · Answer

Ely I'm so sorry u're going through this. If I were in ur shoes, I'd likely feel the same way. Thxu for being open about ur feelings. Take care of urself and I hope u feel better soon pretty. 😊😊

Truecel · Answer

I know the feeling, especially in ethnic families.

Rey · Answer

Hi ely, i know what type of person you are and believe me,you are amazing. If that person is not treating you the same way then it's his fault not your, she has something wrong with her. She doesn't deserve anything in your life, not even taking away your happiness 😊. Just try to avoid her, i respect you a lot and always will. 
One more thing,you are the cutest minnie mouse☺️

Lucky · Answer

Otra cosita que olvide de añadir. Como sos fan de Disney, mírate la película encanto, sí aún no lo hiciste. Puede que te ayude a trabajar el momento y tener nuevas ideas acerca del caso.
Los valores tradicionales no siempre son certeros, y solo porque alguien sea mayor que tú, no significa que sea más sabio o sepa más. Escucha a tú corazón y no dejes que te opriman. Si no te sientes bien con como te tratan, es porque no es buen trato.
Lucha por tí. Tú voz cuenta.

Dark Knight 1971 · Answer

Sorry that you're dealing with that in your life. Maybe you just need to distance yourself from all of that negativity. Your inner peace is priceless, love yourself before loving anybody else. I don't respect people who don't respect me and let them know about it.

Gary · Answer

You could really p*** her off by telling her that your a lisbian or something 😁😁😁

Jaime · Answer

This is so wrong on every level possible. I am truly so very sorry you are experiencing such horrific behavior towards you. I make me sick to my stomach that such a thing can happen in a family environment 🥺🥲😭. I will be wishing you for a way better experience and I hope you get blessed on a better future for you and your real loved ones 🥺🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼. Please keep strong and thank you so much for sharing your experience. I say we team up and show them up LOL 😅😉. But for real please do stay strong and stay blessed for all your great patience.

Darren · Answer

Dont let others (even family) dictate who you are or how you feel, Be the you, you want to be, regardless of what anyone says or does..

ハリス・アフマド · Answer

You should put pineapple stickers on all those photos she's kept, those extremely sticky ones that don't come off easily. Cuz being so hooked to married people is kinda weird.

Dekkar · Answer

Oh that's horrible! You don't deserve that. I can sympathize with what you're going through. I am the last male in my family (with the same last name) that doesn't have kids. And.... I don't even know if I fully want kids. So I'm always shunned if I bring up my own wants. They just want the name to be carried on.
Hopefully she comes around eventually or you get the opportunity to shove a boot up her you know what.
You can get through this stranger 🫶

Gin · Answer

Yeah respect is important but don’t respect because you aren’t married is weird with all respect to her

Jason · Answer

Take a picture of yourself and something u love doing like a hobby or if u love your work and say I'm married to your work and make sure u have people around that way they watch as she put in her place 💯

Mal · Answer

Honestly this is pretty common. Some people dont have basic considerations and place value only on what they can see with their eyes… abstract concepts unfortunately don’t exist to these people, such as the fact that you’re so much more than what’s on the outside and how you present yourself. It’s amazing to me the people I’ve encountered in my own life that act just like this. I won’t plint any fingers, but they know who they are, they just probably don’t care.

Also, I just want to say how truly “normal” this is meaning I don’t think you should be even slighly ashamed and the fact that you’re sharing this means you’re really courageous at the very least in your expression. Lastly, I would say that the sooner you can create some distance for yourself from this situation the better off you’ll probably be as a whole.

Johnnie · Answer

Yeah, that's pretty not great. I personally think respect's a cornerstone of any relationship, and if this person is basing their respect on what you've achieved, well, they're basically holding your relationship with them hostage until you do what they want.
I assume they're close enough family that their respect means a lot to you. I'm sorry you have to struggle with that kind of battle.

Natasha 🌅 · Answer

I understand this. I've always been different from my family. I really embrace it now. I like who I am. I have integrity and an open mind where they are very closed off. Celebrate your unique, authentic self. You're probably the one who shines.

Hope · Answer

I know the feeling mine doesn't come down to if you're married or not. Mine is if you'll bow down to others wants. I have always been a people pleaser so always used to just apologise or bend to the will of whoever it is that my opinion is causing issues with for the sake of peace. But I've hit a point in my life where if you don't like me you don't like me. X

Michael Thomas Geis · Answer

I'm sorry to hear this some people just think they are better than others. Truly sorry.

Luca · Answer

Simple, marry me

Arturo Rodarte · Answer

Harsh to accept and be victim of. Just consider if you want this energy you get from it to change you for better or for worse, it’s never good to ignore things you care about. And of course what you need is more than what I can say. Just know a lot of people are here with and for you.

William · Answer

Some family members are definitely complicated. As long as you like the way you’re living, you don’t need her approval. Don’t be rude to her, but don’t let her get to you either. And if you do plan to get married one day, make sure it’s not just because she would treat you better

💋🦊Vixen🦊💋 · Answer

Could be worse my aunts pointed out I'm collecting baby daddies 🤣💀☠️

Curtis · Answer

That's got to be difficult, especially when others adopt the same basic mindset, just remember that when someone judges another it's a reflection of them not the other, this family member is probably struggling with their own regrets and insecurity, it doesn't make their projection right, it just shows that they lack the ability to deal with their own emotions and problems, and vulnerability is difficult but it helps to get the issue out of your head, and (Ripley's)believe it or not there's someone out there who relates and cares! Stay strong!

Zack · Answer

That’s kinda weirdly focused on it

Pieter · Answer

So outdated... lol 😂

Mars · Answer

I feel ya. I have enough problems with a specific member of my family and her favoritism of my older brother, but now since he is married she finally had a 'proper' daughter 🙄 like I wasn't already not good enough for that woman. Stay strong and ignore it if ya can.

Natalie · Answer

That's a them problem not a you problem, your worth should not be measured by your marital status, despicable behaviour really, it is not OK. Hope you are ok, you deserve a better family imo

Legion · Answer

If it were me, I'd stop talking to her. She doesn't respect you. I cut off my own grandmother for being racist trash. Blood doesn't mean that the person continues to leave you out because you're not part of their dreams. I wasn't always this way, I started out good and along the way I got tired of the bs. You shouldn't have to suffer being excluded.

Phi Bosman · Answer

I don't know you at all but it seems to me you are a wonderful person. You shouldn't let your family get you down. You should try to be yourself always and not what friends or family want you to be. I think you are an amazing person. Looking for an S.O. is hard. It takes time to meet the right one. Your family should respect that. You should definitely not let that get you down. Talk to them and tell them how you feel. Let them know you want your picture with everyone else. Tell them you don't feel included. It's a hard thing to deal with. Family wanting something out of you that you aren't ready for.

James · Answer

I'm sorry for your circumstances. :(

John Fernandes · Answer

We all are here for you ❤️

Dan · Answer

Thank you for your vulnerability!  I find this very relatable.  My family is not (usually) as blunt.  There's no tradition forming like your photo example, but you can definitely tell there's a bias/expectation.  Makes me feel like I've let them down to some degree.

Elijah · Answer

Wild

Respect

Dating Community

Show her what's up.

You don't deserve that, you get married when your good and ready, not because someone doesn't respect you, your feelings matter, I hope you know that much love ♥ I respect you 👍 (edited)

No need to bother yourself with that. Every single person will find that one person for themselves. Just be patient and it will happen.

Ely I'm so sorry u're going through this. If I were in ur shoes, I'd likely feel the same way. Thxu for being open about ur feelings. Take care of urself and I hope u feel better soon pretty. 😊😊

I know the feeling, especially in ethnic families.

Sorry that you're dealing with that in your life. Maybe you just need to distance yourself from all of that negativity. Your inner peace is priceless, love yourself before loving anybody else. I don't respect people who don't respect me and let them know about it.

You could really p*** her off by telling her that your a lisbian or something 😁😁😁

Dont let others (even family) dictate who you are or how you feel, Be the you, you want to be, regardless of what anyone says or does..

You should put pineapple stickers on all those photos she's kept, those extremely sticky ones that don't come off easily. Cuz being so hooked to married people is kinda weird.

Yeah respect is important but don’t respect because you aren’t married is weird with all respect to her

Take a picture of yourself and something u love doing like a hobby or if u love your work and say I'm married to your work and make sure u have people around that way they watch as she put in her place 💯

I understand this. I've always been different from my family. I really embrace it now. I like who I am. I have integrity and an open mind where they are very closed off. Celebrate your unique, authentic self. You're probably the one who shines.

I'm sorry to hear this some people just think they are better than others. Truly sorry.

Simple, marry me

Harsh to accept and be victim of. Just consider if you want this energy you get from it to change you for better or for worse, it’s never good to ignore things you care about. And of course what you need is more than what I can say. Just know a lot of people are here with and for you.

Some family members are definitely complicated. As long as you like the way you’re living, you don’t need her approval. Don’t be rude to her, but don’t let her get to you either. And if you do plan to get married one day, make sure it’s not just because she would treat you better

Could be worse my aunts pointed out I'm collecting baby daddies 🤣💀☠️

That’s kinda weirdly focused on it

So outdated... lol 😂

I feel ya. I have enough problems with a specific member of my family and her favoritism of my older brother, but now since he is married she finally had a 'proper' daughter 🙄 like I wasn't already not good enough for that woman. Stay strong and ignore it if ya can.

That's a them problem not a you problem, your worth should not be measured by your marital status, despicable behaviour really, it is not OK. Hope you are ok, you deserve a better family imo

I'm sorry for your circumstances. :(

We all are here for you ❤️

Thank you for your vulnerability! I find this very relatable. My family is not (usually) as blunt. There's no tradition forming like your photo example, but you can definitely tell there's a bias/expectation. Makes me feel like I've let them down to some degree.

Wild

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