Posted Thursday, August 7, 2025
4mo
ENFJ
Taurus
The Real-Unreal - existential crisis in three parts
Musings I've had while on vacation visiting my childhood home, leading to existential quandering. 1. Everyone we've ever known are just memories of our interactions with them. Parents, friends, children, everyone is a collection of memories from our perspective given an identity. Which means that our understanding of people becomes so much more out of date as time goes on. 2. I am a collection of memories to everyone I've met. Expectations and understandings of my actions and motivations are lost to what's remembered and perceived. 3. There's the expectation of behaving or acting within the scale of what is understood for me. What I should be, who I was to the people I care about. Being a good son within what understanding what that means for my parents. The roles and responsibilities as a father, as a brother, as a friend. Knowing how I'm perceived and understood. Perception creates reality on a small scale. Which leads to this bizarre 'unveiling' when you see the same people, the same world I grew up in, with new eyes. Seeing the massive church I went to is just a building. The Stately Town Hall in town is just an old crumbling building with shiny new facade on the front. The adult's I remember being larger than life are now just... people. Insecure, anxious, trying their best in this world same as me. Everything suddenly becomes unreal as past perceptions get shattered. Good times Pin unrelated, but pretty.
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Existentialism Community
The existentialism community, chat, and discussion.
989 SOULS
4mo
INFP
Taurus
I understand this. These realizations do a number on you every time you experience them, which does happen more than once. I feel like there are exceptions, though. Or perhaps I am just an oddball, or experiencing delusion. When I deeply, fully, and truly love someone, it seems I cease to limit their existence to my perceptions or expectations. I view them as a being just as capable of unbound decision-making as myself. Like the epitome of sonder, I suppose, I manage to truly see them as a fully autonomous being. I don't hold expectations. Instead, I have hopes. Hopes with no real surety on whether they will come to be or not. The more I think about this, though, the more I realize it is not as clear as I thought. In my case, this comes from a blend of absolute love and a colloidal half-known-half-unknown knowledge of the person I love. I know a great deal, but I have not been directly by their side long enough to fully grasp how they act in various situations. And my lack of expectations is partially out of a conscious decision. So I may need to conduct more self-reflection here.
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