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Universes
Posted Friday, March 3, 2023
1y
ISTP
Libra
7 Awards
Should partners have access to each other's phones and socials
●Would you consider it a cause for concern if your partner declined to share their phone and socials with you? ●If you value your privacy and have nothing to hide, how can you convey this to your partner without arousing suspicion? ●How would your trust in each other be impacted in the long run if you mutually decide to disclose such information and ultimately discover there is nothing to be concerned about? (edited)
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Sarah
1y
ISTJ
Leo
1 Award
Nope, no ,nope, no,never. Just because your in a relationship with someone doesn't give you the right to control what they do. If you don't trust them then move on or stay single.
13
2
Reply
J
1y
INFJ
Virgo
I would have no problem giving my partner access to all my stuff I would have nothing to hide and most likely share a life with them anyway. I understand the trust and boundaries debate but if I could offer piece of mind to someone I loved to help them feel a little more secure I would offer gladly and expect the same. Not saying I'd look or use it but it should not be an issue if it ever arises either one of us felt the need to check.
5
2
Reply
ScalSaver
1y
ENTP
Pisces
Finding nothing means knowing I don't need to check again/as often. My policy is about checking general patterns of behavior. I'll notice not getting back for the night or being rejected in romantic advances if it happens consistently. And only then I'd search for answers. I'm generally trusting and laid back on this kind of topic, by default. Changing of attitude only if there's cues/clues that warrants such a change. I never been cheated on, that I know. But I've dated someone with trust issues who accused me of cheating, when I was faithful. It was one of the main reasons why I broke up with them. I won't be concerned being informed so ahead of time. Refusing when asked because there's reasons for suspicion are a different matter. Saying you want to keep some things private will be respected, but my curiosity as to why will be piqued if I'm not given a reason. I'm very intellectually curious of character. It's finding out a break of the daying agreement happen that would cause loss of my trust. If everything went as agreed, nothing noteworthy happened. That's why discussing and setting the terms and boundaries of the relationship is so important.
3
0
Reply
Farid
1y
ISTJ
Sagittarius
Relationship is about power, and each relationship has its own condition. I think the most important thing is that you know what do you want in a relationship and understand your partner's need as well. So I think there should be a some space and privacy for each person.
3
0
Reply
Caleb
1y
ISTP
Libra
No, arguably I lack trust in my partner having it because I had a partner who loved the idea that they could post as me. I also have a problem with somebody having access to any of my devices as me because I usually have heightened security access on my devices. If you can't trust your partner, and I'm not talking honesty, then you've already got a problem.
1
2
Reply
Yunus_Soul
1y
INTJ
Gemini
I would show her to ease her anxiety, plus if you don't have anything to hide, its but okay would get to the bottom, on why she had the desire to see my phone. Ask questions to find a solution. Then I will teach her how to be at peace with herself, to let herself ask questions on why she feels a certain way.
1
1
Reply
Jethro
1y
ENFJ
Gemini
Depends on the reason. If I'm just looking at it to find something with no reason behind said snooping then those are my insecurities I need to work on, but if there is a reason for suspicion, it may be the responsibility of the investigated entity to calm my qualms and a good way is to look through the device to see if there is any indication of unfaithfulness... or at least a good conversation to have an indication of why one might be suspect. Like for example, one of my exes was having a surprise for me and she was acting strange. We broke up for other reasons that stemmed from just indifference in way of living and not due to any sort of mistrust. So just depends on the reasoning
1
0
Reply
Toni
1y
INTJ
Aquarius
No. Everyone can give access to their partner, but going through your partner's personal belongings to justify your doubts is just wrong. There are situations where it's okay to do so, but if it's a personal issue of doubt or jealousy, the better option is to discuss about them instead of going behind their back to check or demanding to see the contents of their phone.
1
0
Reply
Ryan
1y
INTP
Aquarius
No. Might just be me though. I had a girlfriend who quite frankly relished on the fact she could post as me, and would use this against me whenever I brought up things she posted as me, that I didnt feel comfortable with. I've had people go absolute crazy at me for refusing them access, using this as a reason for accusations of all sorts. In the end if they dont trust me, they should just tell me instead of trying to bait me into things. Now if they just wanted a quick look at an email I received or something at that moment, I have no issue. But that's all they really get access to.
1
0
Reply
Stacy
1y
ISFP
Cancer
If you need that, you might need to figure out why you are so insecure. Trust is the foundation of every relationship, but I don't feel the need to have access to every single thing about my partner. Heck, I KNEW my ex husband was cheating and I still didn't go through his phone (but he went through mine daily to make sure *I* wasn't cheating 😑). Me going through his phone would not have given me any more answers than what I already *knew*. The who was irrelevant, the why was irrelevant. I have not, nor will I ever, go through the phone of someone I am with. Period. (edited)
1
0
Reply
Naman
1y
ISFP
Libra
Trust isn't earned in a day. It takes time and from the beginning if a person start hiding things then their partner might start getting suspicious. So in my opinion it's better to share your socials with your partner (it could be in your presence only). A time may come that you don't really care about it bc you know they don't have any issue sharing with it.
1
0
Reply
Rick
1y
ISFJ
Taurus
Big NO! If I would wanted to have access to her phone and socialmedias , then its cause I dont trust her. That means I shouldnt be with her at all. Trust is the key in a relationship. Same If she wantet mine, 0 trust for me, so absolutly not. Wtf?? Is this a serious question i feel bad for you If u are in a so toxic relationship. Just IMO. Blessings
1
0
Reply
James
1y
ISFJ
Aquarius
Why not unless of course there's something to hide.
1
0
Reply
Jordan
1y
ISTJ
Sagittarius
I would let them, and if they checked mine but wouldn't let me check theirs (I wouldn't ask anyway) then I'd get suspicious
1
0
Reply
🌪Wₐₗₜₑᵣ☠️
1y
INTJ
Taurus
How would you answer these questions?
1
0
Reply
Jim
1y
INFP
Virgo
Having been in a coercively controlling relationship where my phone was controlled by my partner, I would never put up with that again, it's now a boundary of mine but I guess I would show them some of my private stuff if she wanted and I was comfortable with it. But private is private and if your partner trusts you it shouldn't be necessary.
1
0
Reply
Anne
1y
ISTP
Capricorn
1 Award
You need to trust imho. I would not check his phone and I would be seriously mad if he checked mine. The intrusion itself spells such distrust. If he thought that necessary, thought I was capable of this he could just as well end the relationship. Alright this is the opinion of an old person who's been married more than a decade.
1
0
Reply
Ahmad
1y
INFP
Aquarius
No. Everyone deserves some privacy...
1
0
Reply
Prabir
1y
ESFJ
Leo
1 Award
> Depends on what the situation is. Personally I wouldn't wanna share my credentials and expect the same from my partner unless there's a problem. As long as we stay loyal and trustworthy keep your things to yourself I ain't prying your personal space. It's because the bois chat group is something I wouldn't wanna expose my partner to. 😆 >Well about this if push comes to shove and this is the last resort to save our relationship and I am certain that I haven't done anything remotely fishy why would I object to reveal my stuffs. At the same time I'd want my partner to do the same else I ain't doing that. We're in this together. 🗿 > The trust will be tainted for sure. Then again there's a relief right! The relief that my partner isn't upto something fishy and I can trust them but with a little caution. There will be blockade of trust for lifetime. It just never goes away. It'll stay there. Just try to accept that it's there to stay and keep living your life around it, trying to trust a little more everyday. If they're supposed to things will workout anyway. 🗿
1
0
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