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Universes
Posted Tuesday, October 3, 2023
1y
INTJ
Capricorn
Why are men so indecisive?
Do you like that headline? Lolol I'm talking specifically about the whole decision on whether or not they want kids. I'm not saying that it's limited to men or every man does it, of course, but I've gotten a little frustrated lately by how many profiles I've swiped past that either don't say anything on the subject, say they are unsure, or (depending on the app) say they are "open" to it. To me, all this says is either 1) they will want kids in a year or 2) they hope they'll still have access to childfree people and can ~magically~ change their mind about having kids. So now I'm curious, am I right? Or do guys just need to start having a serious discussion with themselves about what they want out of life? Am I missing anything here? (Feel free to share any related stories, I'm feeling nosy.)
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66
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Shane
1y
ENTJ
Pisces
I have three children, love them to death. But for those that do not have, it is likely because they are thinking of things in order. Women and men are different, there are women that would have children without a father because they just want to be a mother, men do not want children without a mother, so they only see it after a relationship has started.
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Michael
1y
ENFP
Scorpio
I wanted kids in probably 1 or 2 more years. Now that I don't really know what I'm even going to find in a partner at my age, im either going to be with a single mother or just honestly end up not having kids. I would like to adopt someday as their are unfortunate children who deserve a second chance at a happy healthy home (edited)
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2
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Dylan
1y
INFP
Cancer
I am open to having kids if I meet someone who can be kind after a fight. If we can be kind to each other after a fight then we have the communication skills to raise kids even if we split. I'm also completely fine with out having kids. I don't feel the need to bring lice into this world just to say I have a child. Because if this and the options given I say I'm unsure.
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0
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Ethan
1y
ENFJ
Capricorn
Personally I'm not in a place in my life where it would be economical or realistic to have children so I haven't thought about it because at my time being I have no need to think about it yet. That's why I put I'm not sure or maybe or what ever the app let's me put that's indecisive. When the time comes I'll make a decision. But currently I'm just procrastinating thinking about it. And I'm sure men and women can relate to extreme procrastination
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0
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Spencer
1y
ENFP
Virgo
So I will say I am open to kids as I do want kids, but I feel as though currently it's a bit early for me to actually have kids. I'm also a bit apprehensive towards them as I've seen relationships get torn apart with the kids in the middle. I'd hate to bring kids into this world in an environment where they will struggle very early on.
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0
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David
1y
ISTJ
Capricorn
As someone who has "not sure yet" on that topic in their profile, i can at least give my reasons: I'm not really interested in children in general, I've got no idea what to even do with them and feel awkward around them. I'm not necessarily against having one of my own, hoping it would change how i feel about them but I'm in no hurry. What would matter more to me is having a solid relationship with someone. The thought of potentially birthing a child into this world with someone i barely know repulses me. Not like there's not enough single parents around for whatever reason... (edited)
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0
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Alex
1y
ENTJ
Capricorn
I would say the answer is simple, it depends on the situation and the relationship, as having kids in X relationship/situation may be a good idea while in Y situation it's a bad idea, or rather that is the way I see it. I wouldn't choose who to marry based on whether they'd want to have kids or not, but it is a consideration to make.
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0
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Peter
1y
INFP
Taurus
I'm indecisive on everything lol, teasing though it's partly true. But seriously. Speaking for myself, Due to health, I am very limited on how much I can earn. There is no way that I can play enough of a financial role to support a family. If I find someone that I really like and they have kids, I am open to that. Someone to carry on the family name though, that's on my nephews. 😆
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0
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Rene
1y
ISFJ
Leo
For some guys kids are a touchy subject. Personally I would love the fact to become a dad. Finally, a place for all my dad jokes. In all seriousness, I think a lot of men are just very aware of the responsibility they would have. And more importantly, from my own perspective, I want to have kids with someone who is truly my better half. 37 years of searching… and nada.
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0
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Tyler
1y
ENTP
Capricorn
I wouldn't be surprised if a big part of that trend you noticed is economic. Growing up, I always wanted to start a family and learn from my parents mistakes to break generational trauma and all that fun stuff. Now it seems more like I need to do enough capitalism or dismantle enough capitalism to afford a family 😂
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0
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Richard
1y
ENFP
Leo
Myself I am 35 years old with a long history of relationships. I am here to find someone who will last, someone who I can build a future with and what that future means for the other person. So my first step is to love someone who loves me. Kids is like a whole different ball game and I need to see if that fits. Either be it me as a person or us as a couple. If I love and adore the person and trust then...then maybe kids will be an easy choice. First I need to have someone I would even consider kids with.
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0
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Caleb
1y
INTP
Leo
Depends on how their lif is going I want kids but financially I can't and the way the world is going I'm not sure if it's fair to bring a child into this world
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0
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Nick
1y
INTJ
Sagittarius
Depends on the relationship
0
0
Reply
Jamie
1y
ISFP
Cancer
Personally, I wouldn’t mind, I love kids but I’m not gonna prioritise if I have them or not
0
0
Reply
Marius
1y
INTP
Virgo
You've got a point there. Some folks might be wishy-washy about the whole kids thing. It's definitely something worth discussing with potential partners. Who wants to be stuck in a relationship with someone who's not on the same page when it comes to such a big life choice, right
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0
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James
1y
INFJ
Taurus
I'm not sure... Lol
0
0
Reply
🪴☔🥞🧇🥐🥧🍰🎮
1y
ENTP
Not everyone knows what they want or will want in the future. Not everyone knows how life will shape out and if it's feasible, will they be a good parent. And they want what's best for a kid. It may be easier for other personality types but for mine at least it's such an important decision that would drastically change life with so many variables, just making a decision so simply feels wrong until our doubts and fears are certain. Plus it's a commitment to the person you date if you just on a whim say whatever and us entps like our options and pondering the outcomes with all the variables known
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0
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Ken
1y
INFJ
Libra
As someone with this on my own profile, I'd say it's because it depends on a couple things. If I'm with someone I love very much and also loves me, and I'm sure we won't break up, if she wants children then I'm okay with that. Same thing vice versa. Also depends on financial stability. Basically having children or not having children goes either way for me, as long as I'm with someone I love. Maybe that's naive, but that's my take. (edited)
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