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Is it okay to have secrets in a relationship?

6/23/2025

568

4138

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5mo

INFJ

Cancer

It depends entirely on the kind of secrets. Of course Small inconsequential secrets, like a surprise gift, party you're planning, are definitely big yes for me.But big secrets that could impact the relationship, or that involve deception, cheating or betrayal, are definitely BIG NO NO!! (edited)

316

5mo

ENFP

Scorpio

People are gonna say no. However, I’d advocate it would depend on what type of secret it is. If it’s a destructive secret that’s detrimental to the relationship, absolutely not. Otherwise, realistically speaking, there are some secrets that should be kept. This also includes from family and friends. Something’s are just never meant to be revealed and be taken to the grave. (edited)

5mo

ENFJ

Sagittarius

Only if they're not your secrets to share, then sure but not anything that is pertinent to the relationship itself, no. For example if I am with someone and my brother is going through something that he doesn't want anyone else to know about.. then I will respect my brother's wish, as it isn't my secret to share. Nothing that would harm/hurt my partner or our relationship, though.

5mo

ESFJ

Sagittarius

Being open to each other and having open communication will always lead to a better connection and relationship! The more you are open to your partner the more will make your relationship stronger, simply because you will know them better! Why hide something if you love your partner?! And it's not even a surprises?! Cheers! 🌻🌿🥰💖✨️🌈 (edited)

5mo

ISTJ

Gemini

No relationship no secret 💡🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🫶

5mo

INFJ

Cancer

Yes, depends on what they are though.

5mo

INFJ

Scorpio

If someone asks me to keep a secret for them, I will. But I wouldn’t keep anything that effects her.

5mo

INFJ

Libra

Secrets? In a relationship with me?! 🤣

5mo

INFJ

Aries

A secret is okay if it protects your peace — not if it protects a lie. 🤫🤐😏

5mo

ENFP

Pisces

I would rather there not be any secrets. That's not to say I need to know every thought, that would be annoying, but I believe in being quite open. My past is hard to talk about but not impossible. (edited)

5mo

INFP

5mo

INFJ

Scorpio

What kind of secrets? That’s my counter question

5mo

INFP

Capricorn

No

5mo

INFJ

Libra

Relationships should be built on trust and confidence. 💋💋💋 No secrets. ☺️

5mo

INFJ

Libra

5mo

ENFP

Aquarius

No

5mo

INFP

Libra

That's depend on the type of secret

5mo

INFJ

Gemini

Like surprises? Or Like presents?! Yes 🙌 otherwise probably not

5mo

INTP

Aries

No, it's not but it's depends on satution

5mo

ISTJ

Of course it's okay, as long as the secret doesn't damage the relationship and maybe it should be shared with partner gradually, so that both of you can understand and accept each other...

5mo

INFP

Pisces

Obviously yes, im not gonna tell him it was me who ate the whole box of cookies, or that i bought mc donalds and didnt say anything so i wouldnt share, some secrets are meant to be kept

5mo

INFP

Sagittarius

I think honesty is really important in any relationship. Secrets often come from not wanting to deal with someone's reaction, but eventually, the truth will come out. Honestly, it just feels a bit cowardly to me. There are some exceptions, like surprise parties or proposals, but generally, I believe in keeping things open.

5mo

INFJ

Aquarius

There are secrets that need to be kept on your own and there are secrets that need to share. As long as it won't affect the relationship negatively.

5mo

ESFJ

Libra

5mo

INTP

Virgo

it dépends on the secret

5mo

INFJ

Sagittarius

5mo

ENFJ

5mo

INFJ

Pisces

I am trying to think of something that I would keep from a partner and I can't think of anything that I would, at least not that would maintain a healthy relationship. So, no, I think in general, if you can call it a 'secret', and it doesn't involve a party, you should not. EtA it is OK to keep OTHER PEOPLE'S secrets from a partner... but if they start thinking it is YOUR secret, you should always be able to tell them it isn't yours to tell. (edited)

5mo

ISTP

Libra

1,000% no

5mo

INTP

Gemini

It depends on the kind of secret. For example inconsequential secret, like a surprise gift or a party you're planning, are perfectly fine but big secrets that could impact the relationship, or that involve deception, disloyalty or betrayal, are not okay

5mo

INFP

Cancer

Depends on the secret

5mo

ENFP

Aquarius

It depends on the reason for the secret I’ve definitely had secrets in mine but not if it cheating or anything close to that if you have to keep secrets I’d say that your partner might not be right for you if you have to hide things from them

5mo

ISTP

Gemini

i don't know I'm single bye

5mo

INFJ

Aries

I think we all have a right to our own private thoughts and feelings, and to not share unless we are ready. That being said, if you feel guilty for keeping something from your partner, then that isn't right. Same with not being honest when asked direct questions.

5mo

ENFP

Sagittarius

IMO that's fine to keep something just for ourselves instead of sharing all the things to our partner. But it's depends on what secrets? Is it the thing that will hurt our partner? And why we let that happen? The most important thing is how we respect each other's feelings and protect them.

5mo

INTP

Aquarius

Depends on the type, most of the time I haven't seen a relationship without secrets. Some secrets are bad and shouldn't be kept. Others are harmless and don't matter. So all I can say is it depends.

5mo

ISFP

Gemini

A disaster gets smaller if it is kept secret, it gets bigger if it is complained about, it unravels if it is complained to God, and complicated if it is complained to humans. But this not means you hidden the Secret bcs You have affair with someones else. (edited)

5mo

ISTJ

Aquarius

It depends on what the secret is about

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Is it okay to have secrets in a relationship?

Questions Community

It depends entirely on the kind of secrets. Of course Small inconsequential secrets, like a surprise gift, party you're planning, are definitely big yes for me.But big secrets that could impact the relationship, or that involve deception, cheating or betrayal, are definitely BIG NO NO!! (edited)

No relationship no secret 💡🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🫶

Yes, depends on what they are though.

If someone asks me to keep a secret for them, I will. But I wouldn’t keep anything that effects her.

Secrets? In a relationship with me?! 🤣

A secret is okay if it protects your peace — not if it protects a lie. 🤫🤐😏

I would rather there not be any secrets. That's not to say I need to know every thought, that would be annoying, but I believe in being quite open. My past is hard to talk about but not impossible. (edited)

What kind of secrets? That’s my counter question

No

Relationships should be built on trust and confidence. 💋💋💋 No secrets. ☺️

No

That's depend on the type of secret

Like surprises? Or Like presents?! Yes 🙌 otherwise probably not

No, it's not but it's depends on satution

Of course it's okay, as long as the secret doesn't damage the relationship and maybe it should be shared with partner gradually, so that both of you can understand and accept each other...

Obviously yes, im not gonna tell him it was me who ate the whole box of cookies, or that i bought mc donalds and didnt say anything so i wouldnt share, some secrets are meant to be kept

There are secrets that need to be kept on your own and there are secrets that need to share. As long as it won't affect the relationship negatively.

it dépends on the secret

1,000% no

It depends on the kind of secret. For example inconsequential secret, like a surprise gift or a party you're planning, are perfectly fine but big secrets that could impact the relationship, or that involve deception, disloyalty or betrayal, are not okay

Depends on the secret

It depends on the reason for the secret I’ve definitely had secrets in mine but not if it cheating or anything close to that if you have to keep secrets I’d say that your partner might not be right for you if you have to hide things from them

i don't know I'm single bye

I think we all have a right to our own private thoughts and feelings, and to not share unless we are ready. That being said, if you feel guilty for keeping something from your partner, then that isn't right. Same with not being honest when asked direct questions.

IMO that's fine to keep something just for ourselves instead of sharing all the things to our partner. But it's depends on what secrets? Is it the thing that will hurt our partner? And why we let that happen? The most important thing is how we respect each other's feelings and protect them.

Depends on the type, most of the time I haven't seen a relationship without secrets. Some secrets are bad and shouldn't be kept. Others are harmless and don't matter. So all I can say is it depends.

A disaster gets smaller if it is kept secret, it gets bigger if it is complained about, it unravels if it is complained to God, and complicated if it is complained to humans. But this not means you hidden the Secret bcs You have affair with someones else. (edited)

It depends on what the secret is about

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