My ex broke up with me in January and a part of me never got over him. He's acting like he wants to get back together, but I'm noticing red flags. My heart says yes, my head says no. What should I do?

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Christina

ENFJ

Aries

I can relate to this, I made the mistake to fight for him and I'm still fighting which is something I regret and knowing that there's red flags I would do what's right and listen to your head

Martin

ENTJ

Gemini

1 Award

Always lead with logic. Our heart tries to manipulate us.. "Be nice, be kind, say nothing, don't retaliate, accept the touch, answer the phone..." Its not always the right choice. The heart usually speaks for the body and the body can ask for alot of things that aren't healthy. I'm sure I know how u are feeling.. From Feb 2020 to Jan 2021...every night I felt like I was dying of a broken heart until I found a distraction, and I started to heal. It was painful and felt like forever. The overwhelming feeling of desperation, screaming at me to take the easy way out daily and it still screams at me. But I'm self aware and know not to take those roads. Please, take the time to become self aware and move on if it's the healthiest choice logicly and hopefully u will find a distraction to help u heal and one that won't be damaging in the long run.

Calmii

ISFJ

Scorpio

If it's a red flag, you'll be in a break up again or you'll not be happy until you are in same relationship or both

ENFJ

Cancer

Honestly, if you already see red flags, but are insistent on giving it time, energy, another shot etc. If things move that way for you two, make sure to set ground rules or boundaries in place, and move slowly. Allow yourself room to feel things out, regardless of initial feelings.

Anne

INFJ

Pisces

It's courage to admit how you feel, not still over him. But listening and paying attention to the red flags is important. Empowering yourself by not getting back together with him may help validate your instincts about the situation. And that will help you trust yourself again, and that will help you get over him. 💓

Kevin

ISTJ

Leo

I would listen to your head. The red flags are there for a reason

Ferlucia

ISFJ

Capricorn

I don't even know whether to listen to my head or heart. They both are never in one line. So what I think is following your instincts. In my opinion, never go back to your ex. There's a reason why you two broke up.

Mr. M

INFJ

Taurus

Would you really follow a stranger's advice even if is a good one? Let me ask you something, would you eat again something that can give you food poison? The answer to this is the same answer to your dilemma that is mostly a no-brainer frankly.

Dominic

ENFP

Sagittarius

i relate too much. i wanna get back together with my ex despite us being entirely no contact. its annoying how much the urges to find ways around it are. but if you're seeing red flags i would heavily say don't do it

Tina

INFJ

Aries

Our awareness of red flags are there for a reason and if we ignore them just to be happy for a short period of time then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. I’ve learned that people come in and out of our lives for a purpose, usually it has to do with a lesson we haven’t quite learned yet. I suggest writing a list of pros and cons of your ex to see where he really stands in your life now.

Maddie

INFP

Cancer

Life is so short to stay with those who never appreciated us to begin with. If you’re noticing red flags, listen to your gut!

Amritesh

INTP

Libra

Whenever in doubt,"NO" is the answer🙂

Emy

ISTJ

Taurus

Follow your gut. Maybe talk to him a lot your concerns. His response should tell You everything you need to know

Ann

INTP

Aquarius

Definitely not going back. It's natural reaction to miss someone but when you move on to another new circle you can achieve even greater stuff. Also please, do NOT ignore the red flags...it's not worth it, trust me. I wish you all the best and hoping for new beginning for you 💛 (edited)

Derrick

ISTP

Leo

Hi Angela - "When in Doubt. Dont".

Alex

ISFJ

Capricorn

It's a trap say no

Plonker

ENFJ

Aries

Your head and your heart have to be in agreement or hurt will follow. It's easy to get back into a bad situation. Chances are very likely that you'll have the same outcome though. Be strong. Use us Booers to give to strength.

Popsicle Toes

INTP

Gemini

Your head knows best, especially if you are already seeing red flags

Aquarius®

INTJ

Aquarius

Follow your head

Alexander

ISTP

Gemini

Yeahhh, no I would cut em off completely and move on. Oxytocin is tricking you into thinking you want them, but what you need is stability and security, which sounds like he won't provide having red flags. That's my two cents on it though, I can't tell you what to do. Just what you ought to do.

Lamont

ENFJ

Go with your heart because your head could be playing head tricks with you... go with the feeling not the thought.... goodluck luv 💯

Sarfraz

INFJ

Leo

I did and suffered even more !! Never do that .

Elhussen

ENFJ

Aquarius

Follow ur head

Queen Aphrodite

INFJ

Libra

You followed your heart before and it led you to pain. Now follow your head. 😉 easier said than done, but eventually you will get through it and realize that you made the right decision

Stephen Fuhrer

ENFP

Aries

My 2 cents on this is. 1)why did you split up. Not all break ups are the same. Sometimes there are mitigating factors that go into the breakup. 2) red flags aren't always bad I look at it as can you accept what you're seeing is the pain going to be massively outweighed by the love nobody is perfect so you need to be able to accept their flaws if you love them their flaws don't matter as much because you love them for who they are not what you want them to be. My late wife and I were married for 17 years before she was killed in that time I learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work changing the person that you're with will never work loving them and accepting them for who they are and openly talking and communicating is the key things that happened in our relationships that would have killed other relationships but because we sat down and we talked openly honestly with caring and listening to each other truly hearing each other we always overcome any obstacle that we had I wasn't perfect by any means and neither was she but we had a very loving relationship

Pat

INFJ

Virgo

Red flags is your gut feeling saying run.

Rob

ENFP

Aquarius

My heart ❤ is also broken 💔... I'm sorry don't listen to your head don't listen to your heart listen to your Gut.. I wish you the best of luck you're a beautiful lady But I believe you've gotten as always right natural insights with that tell you Good luck

Jacqueline

INFJ

Scorpio

Cody

ENTP

Aries

Pray about it!

Jes

INFJ

Aquarius

Your heart doesn’t say yes, if you are noticing red flags. I think you know, and just are not willing which is fine. It’s okay still being into your ex, just it can cloud that real judgement your heart is trying to tell you. I think you should just really try to be honest with yourself and decide not base on your feelings and SEE the signs. Don’t waste more time and energy over something/someone that’s not meant to stay. (edited)

Jesse MacLeod

INFP

Capricorn

The way I do relationships is when we're done, we're done for good no matter which one of us wants to get back when we're done, we're done

Armand

INFJ

Scorpio

Absolutely don't. You know it ended for reasons, whatever they might be. You'll be living with the knowledge that a relationship just isn't important to him.

Amine

INTJ

Dump his ass and move on. Make space to someone who reallu deserve to be with you.

Leon Vetko

INTP

Sagittarius

Sometimes the best course of action is to reject, if the relationship fails again, the wounds in your head and heart will be bigger, and will bleed so much that it'll be hard to stop.

Tudor

INTP

Capricorn

Follow the logical path. If things went sour at some point in the past, what are the chances that they'll go sour again? Pretty high I say...

Garrett

INTP

Scorpio

Exs for a reason. If you didn’t want to try to get over him you wouldn’t be on this app.

birdie

ISFP

Capricorn

I will say follow your mind, not your heart your heart says yes because of your love and feelings while your mind says no because of the best for you, you’re noticing red flags and that’s something negative..

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I can relate to this, I made the mistake to fight for him and I'm still fighting which is something I regret and knowing that there's red flags I would do what's right and listen to your head

If it's a red flag, you'll be in a break up again or you'll not be happy until you are in same relationship or both

Honestly, if you already see red flags, but are insistent on giving it time, energy, another shot etc. If things move that way for you two, make sure to set ground rules or boundaries in place, and move slowly. Allow yourself room to feel things out, regardless of initial feelings.

I would listen to your head. The red flags are there for a reason

I don't even know whether to listen to my head or heart. They both are never in one line. So what I think is following your instincts. In my opinion, never go back to your ex. There's a reason why you two broke up.

Would you really follow a stranger's advice even if is a good one? Let me ask you something, would you eat again something that can give you food poison? The answer to this is the same answer to your dilemma that is mostly a no-brainer frankly.

i relate too much. i wanna get back together with my ex despite us being entirely no contact. its annoying how much the urges to find ways around it are. but if you're seeing red flags i would heavily say don't do it

Life is so short to stay with those who never appreciated us to begin with. If you’re noticing red flags, listen to your gut!

Whenever in doubt,"NO" is the answer🙂

Follow your gut. Maybe talk to him a lot your concerns. His response should tell You everything you need to know

Definitely not going back. It's natural reaction to miss someone but when you move on to another new circle you can achieve even greater stuff. Also please, do NOT ignore the red flags...it's not worth it, trust me. I wish you all the best and hoping for new beginning for you 💛 (edited)

Hi Angela - "When in Doubt. Dont".

It's a trap say no

Your head and your heart have to be in agreement or hurt will follow. It's easy to get back into a bad situation. Chances are very likely that you'll have the same outcome though. Be strong. Use us Booers to give to strength.

Your head knows best, especially if you are already seeing red flags

Follow your head

Yeahhh, no I would cut em off completely and move on. Oxytocin is tricking you into thinking you want them, but what you need is stability and security, which sounds like he won't provide having red flags. That's my two cents on it though, I can't tell you what to do. Just what you ought to do.

Go with your heart because your head could be playing head tricks with you... go with the feeling not the thought.... goodluck luv 💯

I did and suffered even more !! Never do that .

Follow ur head

You followed your heart before and it led you to pain. Now follow your head. 😉 easier said than done, but eventually you will get through it and realize that you made the right decision

Red flags is your gut feeling saying run.

My heart ❤ is also broken 💔... I'm sorry don't listen to your head don't listen to your heart listen to your Gut.. I wish you the best of luck you're a beautiful lady But I believe you've gotten as always right natural insights with that tell you Good luck

Pray about it!

The way I do relationships is when we're done, we're done for good no matter which one of us wants to get back when we're done, we're done

Absolutely don't. You know it ended for reasons, whatever they might be. You'll be living with the knowledge that a relationship just isn't important to him.

Dump his ass and move on. Make space to someone who reallu deserve to be with you.

Sometimes the best course of action is to reject, if the relationship fails again, the wounds in your head and heart will be bigger, and will bleed so much that it'll be hard to stop.

Follow the logical path. If things went sour at some point in the past, what are the chances that they'll go sour again? Pretty high I say...

Exs for a reason. If you didn’t want to try to get over him you wouldn’t be on this app.

I will say follow your mind, not your heart your heart says yes because of your love and feelings while your mind says no because of the best for you, you’re noticing red flags and that’s something negative..

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