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Universes
Posted Wednesday, December 15, 2021
3y
INFP
Sagittarius
Friendship
Do you believe in friendship between a woman and a man?
109
243
Comment
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131K SOULS
Antonio B.
3y
INFJ
Cancer
Personally, I view friendship as an earned and awarded state of being. I believe it is achievable in any situation, and by causation, believe it is more than natural to occur in between a man and a woman, as long as very specific aspects and realities are known about the relationship. It occurs naturally through the building of mutually agreed grounds with another in order to accept and understand each others being, even if sometimes it's just for a moment. To begin, we must first properly discern that "friend" and "friendship" are truly distinct terms that hold their own weights in defining an entity of a relationship and a state of relations. By official definition, "friendship" is often described as "the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends." It can also be used to dictate the amicable communications between two world nations! For our purposes, "friendship" can truly be subjective to each adult person's ideals, views, and approaches to relationships. Everyone is bound to hold different levels of expectations for the emotions and conduct they seek and that are to be had in said "friendship", where the grounds are mutally accepted. However, it cannot account for the 'human condition' that we all experience uniquely and therefore cannot gurantee that both parties will always develop their emotions or conduct equally. Where one may truly just want to be a friend, a "person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations", another may so happen to want a relation of "friends with benefits" where it is described as a "friend with whom one has an occasional and casual sexual relationship", of course amongst many other possible states. Im most cases however, any two people who come to build a mutual affection can be considered "friends" by definition, and then by causality, achieve "friendship". And that is where the lines blur. To achieve "friendship", one does not necessarily need to meet the criteria of being just a "friend". The crucial component of thought here is to focus on the meaning of "friendship" as something that is naturally achieved in a given scenario past merely the pure thought of the belief that it is possible. Where even through passing, two strangers who happen to encounter a meaningful moment can say they achieved "friendship", even if it was only for that moment. With this in mind, contemplating a theoretical "friendship" between a man and a woman where both individuals learn to consider each other as "textbook friends" will have its fate decided purely by whether they agree: 1. That their relationship will be purely platonic. and/or 2. If the doors will be left open on both ends to consider something more intimate, more worthwhile. This is especially true if each individual goes to great lengths in spending time with each other. I think we can all appreciate returns on meaningful investment, but we must be vigilant of sunk costs. But I agree that this may be more fitting in an ideal world where we all operate perfectly and somehow can piece together each others personal goals and aspirations. All of which is unrealistic. This argument serves more to establish that "friendship" is possible and natural with the right motivation and open-ness between individuals. Where it is not merely derived from the state of considering each other just "friends". After all, many of us suffer too often from grossly misconstruing the motives of others. Not necessarily at direct fault of our own, but because we inherently make it so difficult for ourselves to be authentic, truthful, and empathetic to anyone else. As individuals, humans tend to easily gravitate to their inner needs first and foremost, as it should be. How else would one be capable of genuine, healthy love if they aren't able to express, accept it in some way to themselves? What's important there is to avoid developing selfish, and arguably quite destructive egocentric behavior. Everyone will utimatelty end up hurting each other and themselves more by ignoring the matters of the heart that affect all of us. Even though they are so complex, they deserve more nurturing attention for our own good and those that we may affect. I can only see it as an admirable and positive endeavor to learn and master one's knowledge of their emotions and how they can negatively or positively influence their actions and choices. Being more and more mindful of those aspects may allows us to be more capable at resilience and give us the right drive to learn and accept those intrinsic human realities that often fall on an innate desire to fill a void. And if its simply a case of not knowing how to, the first step one can take is ask someone else! More than likely, another has lived and experience growth through a vast majority of the problems we all face. And in this tech oriented world, everyone nearly has all the knowledge they need at their finger tips. It's just a matter of how willing one is to push themselves, just manage to temporarily swallow any harrowing emotions that might be impeding, and go for it. Stagnation will not do anyone good, and at some point, one truthfully needs to take control of what they have within themselves to move forward, because the time in its merciless beauty, will leave you behind. Now, to better address the post directly, I clarify that that I believe the focus of a "friendship" between a man and womam should be more on the circumstances of who they are to each to each other and not simply mislabeling that "friendship" restricts the pursuits of love and desire. It is more than possible and does not have the same limits set forth by the inherent state of being just a "friend". Then there's the "best friend", which for me bridges the gap of uncertainty between friend and frienship. Being able to call another this high and deserving title means that two, or more, individuals have achieved a higher order of acknowledgement for each other's qualities, all the "bads" and the "goods", through naturally and/or concretely established terms. A mutual decision that more of often than not is simply found as the most natural way of taking the relationship far above what a normal "friend" would be. Uniquely formed by both parties at any level they see fit and not needing to be openly acknowledged, rather just "feels right". This then sheds light on how many genuine and existing couples out there are oftem able to describe their sigficant others as their "best friend" above anything else! Therefore, "friendship" is of course more than viable between a man and a woman. Not out of pure belief, but out of the essential, implied laws of human connection. We can't kid ourselves. Humans are intrinsic beings of chaos and order, ever fighting for balance in this equally volatile, yet beautiful universe we fight so desperately to make sense of in our own ways. Therefore, it is still completely within your choice to still perceive "friendship" as something to be believed rather than seen through achievable, subjective means. After all we are all bound by our own truths and valid views on emotions, conduct, moralities, and everything in between. It's ultimately up to each of us and to make sense of any and all breakthroughs we can achieve with another soul to decide the most meaningful path to bonding if that is what is being pursued, otherwise any level of relations will wither like a rose yearning to blossom, but stunted by neglect. All in all, our inherent connection to the 'human conditon' subjected to the bending of time and space, from birth to eventual passing, will determine this as we all travel truthfully distinctive paths on our journeys through life, molded and forged by our experiences. °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Well, I hope anyone who just so happens to invest a portion of their precious and priceless time to read this gets something overall positive out of my honest attempt to address this more purposefully, methodically, and limited by my own experiences and knowledge of our existence, of which I humbly acknowledge I am not capable of representing every single person on this Earth!😅 Thank you and Happy Holidays! I wish all of you with genuine sincerity, the best in your own journeys! ✌👍 NOTE*: I may continuously edit this to ensure I am being my most considerate, clear, and constructive in my analysis to instigate the most meanigful thought and if concluded, spark healthy debate if an individual is so inclined. 😎🤙 (edited)
2
2
Reply
Hector
3y
INTP
Leo
Yes
3
0
Reply
David
2y
ENTJ
Pisces
I honestly leave the successful relationship between a woman and a man you must establish that first before it can move forward and be productive because if you can't be my friend you damn sure can't be my lover
2
0
Reply
Alistair
3y
INTP
Of course, some of my best friends are women, some of whom are also former lovers.
2
0
Reply
Name
2y
INTP
Aries
If he's her brother, father, grandpa, cousin, older brother/father figure (not biologically related but has decided to assume these roles), or gay. Did I forget someone? Many guys who put themselves in your friend zone will be upset if you start dating someone, because they never wanted to be your friend. Funny right? But they're the ones who put themselves there in the 1st place. (edited)
2
0
Reply
Rainy
3y
INTP
Gemini
Can the friendship be more? If they're compatible in that way but not romantically?
2
0
Reply
Will
3y
ISFP
Virgo
Yes, but I think there is a line if they are in a relationship with other people.
2
0
Reply
Eris
2y
INTP
Gemini
I think some ppl may be considered 'friends' in the same social network. Realistically, I don't think men are likely to put one on one effort into a relationship with a female unless they find her somewhat attractive. For a truly platonic m-f friendship, the guy would have to like the woman AND find her, not the least bit, sexually attractive or pretty. If he likes her as a person enough to prioritize her and she is at all attractive, he will harbor some other hopes.
2
0
Reply
Candelaria
3y
INTP
Sagittarius
of course, it’s not everything about sex or a romantic relationship :)
2
0
Reply
Mary
3y
INFP
Gemini
I believe in it yes but it should be a mutual choice for both
2
0
Reply
💋🦊Vixen🦊💋
2y
ENTJ
Taurus
Only if it's platonic and there was never romantic interest. You'll never really know though so for me personally it's a no when I'm taken. I'll talk to random people on here but I'll block you as soon as it gets questionable. When you're single their agenda doesn't effect as much. If everyone was honest and upfront I would say yes but that's not the world we live in.
2
0
Reply
Chiwu
3y
INTJ
Libra
Yes, of course. It's quite normal. Who knows what will happen then.
2
0
Reply
Marius
2y
INTP
Leo
I believe it is possible, I have many female friends
2
0
Reply
Keith Strong
1y
ENFJ
Virgo
Yes it's definitely possible
1
1
Reply
Mark
3y
ESTP
Aries
Yes
1
0
Reply
Raynier
3y
INFJ
Leo
Yes, a best friendship
1
0
Reply
Annie
3y
ISTJ
Pisces
Yes I do. Just because you have two people together as friends does not mean that they will sleep with each other
1
0
Reply
Phillip
3y
ENTJ
Aquarius
No, it's nice to be positive and think it is. But it really isn't. Reasoning?: you're not the only one with a life, she or he can get married too and even more when the kids come in they'll have very little time for their friends unless they live nearby, or move away and etc.
1
0
Reply
Abraham
1y
ENFP
Aquarius
Yes, but I don't think one person can truly know since you don't know if people have hidden intentions. One of the worst things about the "nice guy" is that doing things in hope of one day being with the girl. But I think this could be just as true for women. I mean, I think I've always said that female friends are the one I'm most likely to date as I already know their good people, enjoy spending time with them and have probably confided in them. I think I might sense that being around someone for long enough you'll develop some of feelings at one point or another
1
0
Reply
Valencia
3y
INFJ
Capricorn
I always wanted a gay male friend but unfortunately I only attract women and straight men. ☹️
1
0
Reply
Leander Felix
3y
ESTJ
Leo
When the dude gets to know he is friendzone and gives up trying to come out of it. Then there is friendship
1
0
Reply
Candy
3y
INTP
Leo
As someone who has more guy friends than girl friends. It's totally possible. There is no attraction to my guy friends at all they're gross. My female friends tho 👀🤣
1
0
Reply
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