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Nafsi 🍩

9mo

ENFP
Sagittarius

2w3

2

3

Friendship

Do you believe in friendship between a woman and a man?

89

205

Comment

Tracy

9mo

ISTP
Aries

8w7

8

7

Obviously. Some of my best friends are dudes.

14

20

Reply

Eric

9mo

ENTJ
Taurus

Yes, but someones bound to catch feelings at some point. This doesn't mean the person will act on them or that those feeling will last.

2

4

Reply

Tracy

9mo

ISTP
Aries

8w7

8

7

@Eric There's a certain level of "feelings" in every relationship, that's why you're in it. I wouldn't be friends with people I didn't care about. I'm assuming you meant romantic feelings though. In which case, your assertion is completely false and, honestly, kind of immature. I have many friendships where neither of us have ever seen the other as anything more than a friend. Also, and completely unrelated, I have a notification that you commented to me on another post, but either the post was removed or I was blocked. Either way, I have no idea what it was and I can't see it to respond.

9

1

Reply

Bruce

9mo

INFP
Gemini

@Eric Perhaps. But it's how you talk it out with the person. It could become more or they talk about it and decide to stay friends. Probably don't have many examples myself but I think there are guys and girls who are and always just friends out there. They could not be each other's type romantically but enjoy laughing and having fun with them and become friends but not more.

1

2

Reply

Eric

9mo

ENTJ
Taurus

@Tracy Life's different as a woman. It's more likely that a man will catch feelings for a woman at some point, whether they are friends or not. It may not be too emotionally charged, probably only sexual. It doesn't mean that it'll affect the way he acts towards your friendship. There are a lot of variables that can lessen the likelihood that a guy will reveal these feelings at some point (you, the woman, are in a romantic relationship, or you've clearly stated you're only interested in being friends, or the guy friend is in a romantic relationship, etc.). There's nothing immature about this response I've just given you. I'm not only speaking on some cultural level, I'm speaking from an evolutionary, psychological, and physiological level. You wanna know the general truth? There it is. I can't speak oh behalf of women because we now know (based on hard science and countless studies) that most women prioritize certain values differently than men. We're wired differently. We process emotion's differently. This is a reason why some women generically state "men are dogs, why do they only care about sex". It's not that we only care about sex, it's that our brain chemistry drives us to prioritize it in many instances. That doesn't mean we lack empathy/sympathy.

1

0

Reply

Eric

9mo

ENTJ
Taurus

@Bruce Hey, bro. I typed up a paragraph to clarify on behalf of us guys. I'm assuming (haha) this response is to my first comment? Yea, I was just stating that one person is bound to catch feelings. It's not like I'm wrong for the most part, lol. Some people would rather not know the truth though. And, let's be real; some guys that Cordy will ask will NOT admit they've had some feelings (sexually or emotionally) at some point. That is usually not taken well on the receiving end. I typed what I typed because I thought this was an open forum where people could provide input without being trashed, though some people here clearly took offense (weird, tbh). I was even called immature, lol.

2

1

Reply

Tracy

9mo

ISTP
Aries

8w7

8

7

@Eric I didn't take offense, nor did I "trash" you. I simply stated that your assumption was immature, because it is. Most of my guy friends are in committed relationships, but even when they weren't I'd go out with them back in the day and be their wingman. They'll literally tell you they've never seen me as anything more than "one of the guys" or a little sister even. And the same goes for me towards them. Just because YOU can't be friends without catching feelings on some level doesn't mean it's a universal truth for all men.

4

1

Reply

Eric

9mo

ENTJ
Taurus

@Tracy OK. believe whatever is more convenient for you. The fact you were their wingwoman lessened the likelihood they would catch feelings for you at the time because, like I clearly stated earlier, they were in the process of involving themselves in something romantic. My response is not immature. You're immature for misreading what I posted and double-downing on your critique. Don't continue your pointless critique. If you want to go against the mounds of scientific evidence, and the countless forums of guys discussing how they hide their feelings for friends, or the fact guys still have "locker room" talk as adults then go for it, but don't assume I'm wrong when you have less evidence to prove your point (that you haven't even proven, really). It's like you haven't discovered guys have secrets too, haha. EVERYONE has these sorts of secrets at some point. Welcome to reality. You are now unbounded from the spell casted upon you 🪄

1

2

Reply

Lynne

29d

INTP
Gemini

@Eric So what? That doesn't make the friendship any less genuine.

0

0

Reply

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖

9mo

INFP
Scorpio

5w4

5

4

I think if there's no sexual attraction, or desire in one half for it to be more than friendship - yes, rather easily. If there is some sexual attraction, or one person has the desire for it to be more than friendship - also yes, but it may be awkward or tenuous. It really depends on who the people involved are, I suppose.

15

2

Reply

Moody

9mo

INFJ
Pisces

Not really sure this is a debate. I think people only being friends with their own gender is pretty uncommon these days.

6

1

Reply

Bruce

9mo

INFP
Gemini

Yeah true. If you think about it you probably have couples (boy and girl friend) friends and obviously (hopefully) you wouldn't like their partners, only as friends at most.

0

0

Reply

Apoorva Tadepalli

9mo

INTP
Virgo

Yes!!!!

5

0

Reply

Sandi

9mo

INFP
Capricorn

2w1

2

1

Yes ofc, nothing wrong with that. 🙂

3

0

Reply

Hector

9mo

INTP
Leo

5w4

5

4

Yes

3

0

Reply

Talha Hussain

9mo

ESFP
Virgo

Yup

3

0

Reply

Richie

9mo

INTJ
Leo

Yeah, I grew up with 3 sisters and no brothers. I just connect more with women more so then men.

2

0

Reply

Valentin

9mo

INTJ
Pisces

1w9

1

9

Extremely rare but possible.

2

0

Reply

Jonathan

9mo

INFJ
Capricorn

6w7

6

7

Yeah. Plus a lot of the time the girls would rather hang out with their guy friends. I've been told it's because guys are just chill no drama.

2

0

Reply

Alistair

9mo

INTP
Capricorn

8w9

8

9

Of course, some of my best friends are women, some of whom are also former lovers.

2

0

Reply

Josh Cortes

9mo

INFP
Aries

No doubt

2

0

Reply

Lalene

9mo

INTP
Taurus

6w5

6

5

Yes

2

0

Reply

Flávio Reis

9mo

INTJ
Aries

I do, I have more facility to make friendship with girls the with boys... And I straight and single. As you said, it's not all about sex

1

1

Reply

Nafsi 🍩

9mo

ENFP
Sagittarius

2w3

2

3

Glad you agree

1

0

Reply

Antonio B.

9mo

INFJ
Cancer

4w5

4

5

Personally, I view friendship as an earned and awarded state of being. I believe it is achievable in any situation, and by causation, believe it is more than natural to occur in between a man and a woman, as long as very specific aspects and realities are known about the relationship. It occurs naturally through the building of mutually agreed grounds with another in order to accept and understand each others being, even if sometimes it's just for a moment. To begin, we must first properly discern that "friend" and "friendship" are truly distinct terms that hold their own weights in defining an entity of a relationship and a state of relations. By official definition, "friendship" is often described as "the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends." It can also be used to dictate the amicable communications between two world nations! For our purposes, "friendship" can truly be subjective to each adult person's ideals, views, and approaches to relationships. Everyone is bound to hold different levels of expectations for the emotions and conduct they seek and that are to be had in said "friendship", where the grounds are mutally accepted. However, it cannot account for the 'human condition' that we all experience uniquely and therefore cannot gurantee that both parties will always develop their emotions or conduct equally. Where one may truly just want to be a friend, a "person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations", another may so happen to want a relation of "friends with benefits" where it is described as a "friend with whom one has an occasional and casual sexual relationship", of course amongst many other possible states. Im most cases however, any two people who come to build a mutual affection can be considered "friends" by definition, and then by causality, achieve "friendship". And that is where the lines blur. To achieve "friendship", one does not necessarily need to meet the criteria of being just a "friend". The crucial component of thought here is to focus on the meaning of "friendship" as something that is naturally achieved in a given scenario past merely the pure thought of the belief that it is possible. Where even through passing, two strangers who happen to encounter a meaningful moment can say they achieved "friendship", even if it was only for that moment. With this in mind, contemplating a theoretical "friendship" between a man and a woman where both individuals learn to consider each other as "textbook friends" will have its fate decided purely by whether they agree: 1. That their relationship will be purely platonic. and/or 2. If the doors will be left open on both ends to consider something more intimate, more worthwhile. This is especially true if each individual goes to great lengths in spending time with each other. I think we can all appreciate returns on meaningful investment, but we must be vigilant of sunk costs. But I agree that this may be more fitting in an ideal world where we all operate perfectly and somehow can piece together each others personal goals and aspirations. All of which is unrealistic. This argument serves more to establish that "friendship" is possible and natural with the right motivation and open-ness between individuals. Where it is not merely derived from the state of considering each other just "friends". After all, many of us suffer too often from grossly misconstruing the motives of others. Not necessarily at direct fault of our own, but because we inherently make it so difficult for ourselves to be authentic, truthful, and empathetic to anyone else. As individuals, humans tend to easily gravitate to their inner needs first and foremost, as it should be. How else would one be capable of genuine, healthy love if they aren't able to express, accept it in some way to themselves? What's important there is to avoid developing selfish, and arguably quite destructive egocentric behavior. Everyone will utimatelty end up hurting each other and themselves more by ignoring the matters of the heart that affect all of us. Even though they are so complex, they deserve more nurturing attention for our own good and those that we may affect. I can only see it as an admirable and positive endeavor to learn and master one's knowledge of their emotions and how they can negatively or positively influence their actions and choices. Being more and more mindful of those aspects may allows us to be more capable at resilience and give us the right drive to learn and accept those intrinsic human realities that often fall on an innate desire to fill a void. And if its simply a case of not knowing how to, the first step one can take is ask someone else! More than likely, another has lived and experience growth through a vast majority of the problems we all face. And in this tech oriented world, everyone nearly has all the knowledge they need at their finger tips. It's just a matter of how willing one is to push themselves, just manage to temporarily swallow any harrowing emotions that might be impeding, and go for it. Stagnation will not do anyone good, and at some point, one truthfully needs to take control of what they have within themselves to move forward, because the time in its merciless beauty, will leave you behind. Now, to better address the post directly, I clarify that that I believe the focus of a "friendship" between a man and womam should be more on the circumstances of who they are to each to each other and not simply mislabeling that "friendship" restricts the pursuits of love and desire. It is more than possible and does not have the same limits set forth by the inherent state of being just a "friend". Then there's the "best friend", which for me bridges the gap of uncertainty between friend and frienship. Being able to call another this high and deserving title means that two, or more, individuals have achieved a higher order of acknowledgement for each other's qualities, all the "bads" and the "goods", through naturally and/or concretely established terms. A mutual decision that more of often than not is simply found as the most natural way of taking the relationship far above what a normal "friend" would be. Uniquely formed by both parties at any level they see fit and not needing to be openly acknowledged, rather just "feels right". This then sheds light on how many genuine and existing couples out there are oftem able to describe their sigficant others as their "best friend" above anything else! Therefore, "friendship" is of course more than viable between a man and a woman. Not out of pure belief, but out of the essential, implied laws of human connection. We can't kid ourselves. Humans are intrinsic beings of chaos and order, ever fighting for balance in this equally volatile, yet beautiful universe we fight so desperately to make sense of in our own ways. Therefore, it is still completely within your choice to still perceive "friendship" as something to be believed rather than seen through achievable, subjective means. After all we are all bound by our own truths and valid views on emotions, conduct, moralities, and everything in between. It's ultimately up to each of us and to make sense of any and all breakthroughs we can achieve with another soul to decide the most meaningful path to bonding if that is what is being pursued, otherwise any level of relations will wither like a rose yearning to blossom, but stunted by neglect. All in all, our inherent connection to the 'human conditon' subjected to the bending of time and space, from birth to eventual passing, will determine this as we all travel truthfully distinctive paths on our journeys through life, molded and forged by our experiences. °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Well, I hope anyone who just so happens to invest a portion of their precious and priceless time to read this gets something overall positive out of my honest attempt to address this more purposefully, methodically, and limited by my own experiences and knowledge of our existence, of which I humbly acknowledge I am not capable of representing every single person on this Earth!😅 Thank you and Happy Holidays! I wish all of you with genuine sincerity, the best in your own journeys! ✌👍 NOTE*: I may continuously edit this to ensure I am being my most considerate, clear, and constructive in my analysis to instigate the most meanigful thought and if concluded, spark healthy debate if an individual is so inclined. 😎🤙

1

2

Reply

Bruce

9mo

INFP
Gemini

No offense. But man I thought I type a lot. 😅 It's nice that you really thought about it and have a lot to say about it. I'm not going to lie I have a terrible memory and I've already forgot most of what I've read. But the part with strangers being friends for a moment. I guess you can think everyone become friends first even briefly like you said. You probably talk and get to know them at least a little bit even through body language and their reaction to things making you decide if you like them or not. I've never had a hookup but I'm guessing it's not just two people looking at each other and then walking to the bedroom without saying a word? 😅 And happy holidays to you.

0

1

Reply

Antonio B.

9mo

INFJ
Cancer

4w5

4

5

@Bruce Hey Bruce! Truly appreciate you got something out of my "short" novel! Trust if you can when I say that expressing myself how I have here in my comment is my brain's way of "data dumping" and/or journaling, even if it means I may share it with others, not limited to just thoughts on paper that are aimed at myself. Its funny, I'll spend time processing and wording a descriptive piece with hyperfocus until I am satisfied with it (for tje moment that is😅), but I can't seem to be consistent in maintaining a proper journal for myself! Anyway, I'm sure in some weird, shocking and alternative universe, if you imagine or believe that, I'm sure our species' sole innate purpose is just to multiply, programmed like robots to fulfill a looping task from A to B. Actually a very basic parallel for how our electronic computers in OUR world work, whether its a keurig dispensing coffee, to the complex systems inside a space/rocket shuttle haha. Happy holidays to you my good man and thank you for your insight!

1

0

Reply

Candelaria

9mo

INTP
Sagittarius

5w6

5

6

of course, it’s not everything about sex or a romantic relationship :)

2

0

Reply

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