When I match with someone and put in a lot of effort into a message, pointing out something I like or relate to in their profile and finish off with a question, sometimes all I get in return is a few words like "Yeah I agree!" or "Sure" or something along those lines. Then I call them out on their lack of interest and say "Just a suggestion, but responding with a few words shows that you're not interested. You can go ahead and unmatch with me whenever you're ready." The last girl I said that to had the audacity to say "I'm busy with work and your question was a yes or no question" defensively. Yeah because the little question I had at the end of my long thought out message was the only thing you could respond to right? 🙄 And you're talking about work as if you're always working (btw the 2 responses she gave were stretched over 3 days, so it's not like she didn't have time.) Guys... don't make excuses. If you're not interested, don't bother messaging and just unmatch. Just wondering... why does everyone come here looking to give advice like they're a guru or something? I didn't ask for advice and I certainly don't need it 🙄 (edited)

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Amanda

INFP

Virgo

Some people are overwhelmed with too many messages at once, and some appreciate the thoughtfulness. But point is, you have to feel that out, not everyone is the same. And you are definitely shooting yourself in the foot by saying the quiet part out loud and getting blunt and rude with others. They will definitely not want to talk with you after such a message. What I do is try and relate to something on their profile, and if I notice they are messaging back less often or with less content, I try to match their pace and shorten my own responses down. Not every convo has to be a huge and elaborate digging into one's soul. Actually that can be really heavy and off-putting when you just start talking with someone or meet them for the first time. Let things come up naturally.

Austin

INFJ

Aries

Start small, observe and work up to the meaningful stuff. Otherwise, you will be wasting energy.

Maya Sun

INFP

Pisces

If I took the time to write lengthy responses to every dm I received that literally would be all I do in my day. LOL! Dating and building relationships is a way for me to enhance my life and bring joy, its not a job and if someone tries to make me feel that way, in just not going to play. Sorry.

Josh

ENTP

Pisces

I feel you. Unfortunately, vulnerable people and those with fewer social skills, less time, less energy, and more options learned unresponsiveness makes interaction and rejection easier. Generally, it helps to not come on too strong, work on your humor, be a little persistent, and then ease into more revealing topics/questions.

Zaiybian

INTJ

Scorpio

1 Award

Who gonna tell bro.... cause obviously the other dudes aren't. If a girl isn't interested there's probably not much you can do bro, the girls on this app and every other have multiple options.. you are just another option as great as you think your msg was it wasn't. Not to her atleast, and once you get hostile, you're basically throwing all chance you had out the door. Like many have said she doesn't owe you anything, even a response at all. And people often are busy you've just got baggage you need to drop, not everyone is lying to you.

Danny

INTP

Virgo

why is everyone arguing? guess i’ll mediate. to op: your response comes off as blunt in a highly social situation. this is very much a dance of building interest and being polite. i don’t like it, but that’s the expectation. Props for your honesty, but it’s unlikely for everyone to match your energy. i suppose that’s a politer way of saying people aren’t going to dedicate as much energy as you would like. Your response seems highly uncalled for because it challenges what the expectation is socially. However, I do understand the decision to choose honesty. it’s frustrating, but it’s also misleading to assume people have the same expectations you do.

Donald

ISTJ

Scorpio

1 Award

Women have an overwhelming advantage in dating apps and their DMs can easily overwhelm them. Unless you're the top few that kept her interest, chances are you're lost in the sea of other men who also failed to catch their attention. Just move on until you find one who can have genuine interest in you.

Zakk

INFJ

Leo

gotta understand that no matter how much effort you put into a profile or communication you are always at a deficit interacting for the first time through text. i would say most people don't really understand a relationship until you're face to face with that person. keep going homie, but don't bash your head ceaselessly into the wall.

Joy WhitsonBell

ISTJ

Aries

Totally relate but what's worse is a nice little ongoing conversation that lasts one day and then ghost, like they lost interest and got bored or something but no obvious reason in the dialog for just being cutoff

Chris Critchfield

INTP

Virgo

I feel you, i dont care if they put in as much effort as i do but they can do better than "yes" or "sure" at least put enough that the guy has something to work with if nothing else

Dolan

INTJ

Virgo

It's AA flag for sure. Replies like "ok". or 3 word sentence to your paragraph means, move along. So what if they have too many things on their plate. There is no justification for not reciprocating. Don't waste second on someone who won't give you a minute.

Jonah

INFP

Taurus

Literally sent a well thought out greeting and icebreaker only for her to immediatly ask me to send her money 😮‍💨

Chanh Hoang

INTP

Virgo

"why does everyone come here looking to give advice? i didn't ask for advice and certainly don't need it" Advice and new ideas are a natural extension of productive conversation and debate. If thats not what you're looking for, why bother posting or being on this platform in the first place?

Lunessa

INTP

Some people just don't care, and you can tell easily by how much effort they put into their communication with others. Non-living energy always follows the path of least resistance. Only life can choose the path of more resistance. ⚡✨😊✨⚡ (edited)

Zack

INTP

Libra

1 Award

Guy is blunt and brings up a very common and largely relatable problem. He then ask the perpetrators to not make excuses. Whadaya know they continue to make excuses with irrelevant, half assed logic that doesn't actually address what he was talking about. That's because the core of this problem stems from the lack of consideration of others feelings. What happened to "Oh my bad, I'm sorry I'll keep that in mind for the future."? Nahhhh, rather, there are no problems in their mind up until you create one by calling something out.

Aaron Vorobyov

ENFP

Leo

I understand your frustration but there are a bunch of reasons why they gave that response. It could be lack of interest or it could be that they're genuinely busy. It's tempting to want to call them out on it but it honestly makes you look petty and insecure. You can just unmatch with them without grandstanding.

💋🦊Vixen🦊💋

ENTJ

Taurus

1 Award

Patience is just as important as communication in a serious relationship. I reached out to my current bf first on this app and he was standoffish for awhile with minimal responding. Thank God I didn't give up while staying consistent. You can find somebody that matches your interest level and hopefully form an intimate bond. You got to drop the anger, frustration, entitlement and everything else though. I worked 50 hours and still managed to talk to many people so you're right most people do just make excuses. Find someone that will flow with you naturally with no resistance.

Bobby

INTJ

Aquarius

I don't think many of these "who does he think he is!?" responses are a fair assessment. Get enough people like that in general (which I've personally seen a lot of) and the status quo changes for the worst. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice. I'm sure a simple, clipboard, copy-pasted, "thanks but no thanks" and, as a decent human being, a bonus of "why" would have been enough for him to move on. The fact that it's become the norm to be callous to folks is more surprising to me than his "why are you treating me poorly" response. Think about it like this: A restaurant doesn't technically owe an individual that entered the building anything until money is exchanged. But how many of us expect to be seated, given a menu, and treated like something greater than trash on the ground? I'm not sure why that logic flips so strongly on online dating platforms.

Vincent

INTJ

Taurus

INFJ

Virgo

Good luck. In most cases they have multiple options and requests flowing already. So yeah, prepare for the dead convos unless they're actually interesting (even then it's probably still going to be dead based on what I've heard from others too)

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🎶💜🎶

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Tough gals

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I don't

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ISFJ

Scorpio

Little tips for those on free version of boo and would want to message someone do like this

Send a comment thru post by someone u would want to chat with only two or three comments wil help you .just send comments on that person's post by that u will have access to send them messages bye good day

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You know what I can't stand?

Dating Community

Start small, observe and work up to the meaningful stuff. Otherwise, you will be wasting energy.

If I took the time to write lengthy responses to every dm I received that literally would be all I do in my day. LOL! Dating and building relationships is a way for me to enhance my life and bring joy, its not a job and if someone tries to make me feel that way, in just not going to play. Sorry.

Totally relate but what's worse is a nice little ongoing conversation that lasts one day and then ghost, like they lost interest and got bored or something but no obvious reason in the dialog for just being cutoff

I feel you, i dont care if they put in as much effort as i do but they can do better than "yes" or "sure" at least put enough that the guy has something to work with if nothing else

It's AA flag for sure. Replies like "ok". or 3 word sentence to your paragraph means, move along. So what if they have too many things on their plate. There is no justification for not reciprocating. Don't waste second on someone who won't give you a minute.

Literally sent a well thought out greeting and icebreaker only for her to immediatly ask me to send her money 😮‍💨

"why does everyone come here looking to give advice? i didn't ask for advice and certainly don't need it" Advice and new ideas are a natural extension of productive conversation and debate. If thats not what you're looking for, why bother posting or being on this platform in the first place?

Some people just don't care, and you can tell easily by how much effort they put into their communication with others. Non-living energy always follows the path of least resistance. Only life can choose the path of more resistance. ⚡✨😊✨⚡ (edited)

Good luck. In most cases they have multiple options and requests flowing already. So yeah, prepare for the dead convos unless they're actually interesting (even then it's probably still going to be dead based on what I've heard from others too)

Related Posts

The use of AI in online dating.

Are you open to a long distance relationship, where your partner lives in another country? 😊🩷( Ofc later on living together) (edited)

Does anyone here feel like dating apps are set of for guys to feel more isolated?

You will always find me single during summer time. I don’t leave my house during this heat wave 🥴🥴

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