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Universes

Posted Sunday, January 19, 2025
4mo
INTJ
Virgo
Unpopular opinion: polyamory is just an excuse to cheat on your partner
If you want to date other people, then you didn’t want to be in a relationship/marriage in the first place, as these situations are exclusive by definition. I’ve seen way too many people, mainly men, on this app who are looking for “another woman to add to the polycule” or something like that. I doubt their partner is aware of their cheating, or they’ve been coerced to allow their partner to cheat. Please stop messaging people if you’re already in a relationship if that person makes it clear in their bio that they are monogamous. It’s disgusting!
175
78
Comment
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Quincy Falcon
4mo
ENTP
Capricorn
Disagree. It is not something I am into but I know people it works for. One example that jumps to mind is someone I know who is in a relationship with a partner who is ace. They agree that they want to live together and cuddle and go on dates but they also agree that it is fine for the person who wants to to seek a sexual relationship elsewhere. That is just one example. I also know three people in a relationship where all three of them are together equally closely not just one person seeing two people separately. As long as it is agreed upon by all parties I do not think it is morality wrong.
19
0
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John
4mo
INFJ
Taurus
Its putting the other person on the back burner and turning them into a possession to return to. It's weird.
9
1
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Taliesin
3mo
ENFJ
Libra
Why are you so hateful? Look, I agree to an extent. Polyamorous people shouldnt approach monogamous people with an intent to date. It's crossing a boundary of the monogamous person and therefore problematic. But your take is woefully uneducated, harmful and ignorant. You clearly haven't got an utter clue how ethical and healthy polyamory works and are basing this ridiculous post off of stereotypes or scenarios extrapolated and generalised out through your own prejudice. There are examples of polyamory done poorly, like the "seeking another woman" you mentioned. But monogamy can also be done equally as poorly. So, again, why are you so hateful? What made you feel like writing this and attacking others for doing something that, when done correctly, is safe and consensual for all involved. Just let people live their lives, yeesh. (edited)
9
0
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Kevin
3mo
INTP
Polyamory is usually mutual and consensual. Is it still considered 'cheating' when it is both a mutual and fully open topic of conversation (meaning no secrets) between two people? 🧐🤔 (edited)
8
0
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Will
3mo
ENFP
Scorpio
I’ll never understand why people think they can love everyone in their poly relationship equally, that’s not how it works and it always leaves someone hurt more than others
6
2
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Debu
4mo
ISFP
Honestly, it's really sad to see people misuse relationships like that. Everyone deserves respect and transparency. 😭💔
5
3
Reply

𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢ℜ𝔬𝔟
3mo
ENFP
Cancer
"People are doing something harmless that doesn't effect me personally, but it brings my piss to a boil because they're wrong and I'm right" is what I gleamed from that.
5
0
Reply

Stacey
3mo
INFJ
Leo
You can't generalize a statement like that and then be more specific with it... If you're uncomfortable with all the dudes and gals and theys on here cheating or looking for another partner, then look away. Polyamory isn't an excuse to cheat, just because you're u comfortable with something or can't grasp it's nuance doesn't mean you are right. It's just an opinion, not a fact. And I understand you stated it as an unpopular opinion, still though, you speak as though it is fact. If you're getting creepy messages or what have you, then report and block the user. Stay safe out there
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0
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Dan
3mo
ENTP
Virgo
Wait so being open about what you want and then your partner being open and ok with it is cheating? I'm pretty sure those relationships are stronger than a lot of traditional ones where both parties lie and actually cheat lol I'm not poly or anything but I can tell superior communication built in to a relationships structure when I see it. 🤷🤷
3
0
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Liam
3mo
INTP
Gemini
It is a interesting perspective but a don’t think it’s cheating if ur partner knows abt it and wants the same thing. However, if u r polyamous and u havent told/discussed it way ur partner then a would say uv crossed a line and then it’s considered cheating 👍 (edited)
2
0
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Desiree
3mo
INFP
Cancer
I would heavily disagree that polyamory is just an excuse to cheat. I would AGREE that a lot of people, mostly men, try to use polyamory as a form of cheating.
2
0
Reply

Lamin
4mo
ISFJ
Aquarius
Definitely.
1
0
Reply

Allan
3mo
ISTJ
I completely agree with you. Your thoughts are the same as mine, but the reality is that nowadays there is a dearth of people who have such thoughts, not of thoughts. Today the world definitely talks about love, but the society does not love except with selfish love. Cheating on a partner is not just cheating on him/her; it is cheating on the trust placed in him/her, betraying their hopes and dreams.
1
0
Reply

Miguel
3mo
INFP
Leo
Its funny you say this, becuase it was my wife's point of view on marriage that I'm currently looking for more "friends". Polyamorous means deep friendships for her, so im trying that out since my pov on marriage is exclusivity. I cant change her, so im trying out her view since i love her. Deep friendships doesn't mean anything sexual by the way
0
1
Reply

Chance Lollar
4mo
INTP
Capricorn
That opinion is a lot more popular than you think...
0
0
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Richard
3mo
INFJ
Just another preference thing I think. Even when monogamous, you love different people at different times. Is your next love lessened by the fact that there was one prior? Is your previous love lessened? Do you forget them completely or carry them in your heart? I see no reason a person can't love two or more people concurrently. Not sure if it's something I'd ever go for personally, but I'm always open-minded.
0
0
Reply

Rachel 🦋
3mo
ENFJ
Aries
Agree 💯
0
0
Reply

𝑟𝑎𝑙.
3mo
ESTP
Capricorn
yes.
0
0
Reply

Jakob
3mo
INFP
Cancer
I agree entirely, though I've seen a ton of women trying to do it (both sides do, I just personally encounter more women due to being a guy on dating apps and not a girl). ENM is fine (both agreeing to be able to sleep around)-- it isn't for me, but power to those that do. Poly is just that though yeah. No one realistically has the time to properly care for more than one romantic partner. Someone is going to feel left out. Extremely rare exceptions where all parties involved are bi/pan and genuinely love each other but that is really, really rare.
0
0
Reply

Paul
3mo
INTJ
Aquarius
It shouldn't be an unpopular opinion.
0
0
Reply

Seth
3mo
ENTJ
Scorpio
Polygamy is degenerate and abhorrent
0
0
Reply

Jason
3mo
INFJ
Libra
Nicely said
0
0
Reply

Christophe
3mo
INTJ
Sagittarius
Relationships are a bit like food. Everyone has preferences. Some have allergic reactions to some forms. Some say they do not want your fries, and takes a couple while you aren't looking. Some say they will go on a diet, but at 3am are robbing the fridge. Some just stick to the same food every day. And some do not tolerate the spiciness. But coming back on topic. It depends on the pretext. Men and women lying about their relationship status, I'm pretty sure everyone universally agrees that that isn't morally right. With regards to people going to bed with many different people, well, there's a difference between polyamory, and polyfuckery. One implies that you can have emotions for multiple people at the same time, while the other one has no emotions required. Something I've learned from my previous relationships is that, you can't be 100% for someone (hey, those people do exits, and I'm happy for them because it's super hard to find!), but I think trusting each other enough and allowing them to experience different things it very exciting all by itself (you want your partner to be happy). But it's all about communication and trusting each other, find what makes everyone happy and their needs met. Seeing other people does not automatically mean you love your partner less. It's kinda like one partner likes horror movies and the other romcoms, and you don't want to watch the same together. You still love each other for their uniqueness and individuality, and allow them to enjoy certain things you don't like for the sake of their happiness. Same thing with relationships, if not, I personnally feel this strengthens the relationship when you are together in the first place for all the right reasons.
0
0
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