If you want to date other people, then you didn’t want to be in a relationship/marriage in the first place, as these situations are exclusive by definition. I’ve seen way too many people, mainly men, on this app who are looking for “another woman to add to the polycule” or something like that. I doubt their partner is aware of their cheating, or they’ve been coerced to allow their partner to cheat. Please stop messaging people if you’re already in a relationship if that person makes it clear in their bio that they are monogamous. It’s disgusting!

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Quincy Falcon

4mo

ENTP

Capricorn

Disagree. It is not something I am into but I know people it works for. One example that jumps to mind is someone I know who is in a relationship with a partner who is ace. They agree that they want to live together and cuddle and go on dates but they also agree that it is fine for the person who wants to to seek a sexual relationship elsewhere. That is just one example. I also know three people in a relationship where all three of them are together equally closely not just one person seeing two people separately. As long as it is agreed upon by all parties I do not think it is morality wrong.

John

4mo

INFJ

Taurus

Its putting the other person on the back burner and turning them into a possession to return to. It's weird.

Andy

4mo

INTJ

Aries

It's less of a gender thing than you realize. The women do the same things and seem rather suspect as well. I'm willing to try to give people a chance, but I just really don't think it's for me. To each their own, I guess 🤷

Taliesin

3mo

ENFJ

Libra

Why are you so hateful? Look, I agree to an extent. Polyamorous people shouldnt approach monogamous people with an intent to date. It's crossing a boundary of the monogamous person and therefore problematic. But your take is woefully uneducated, harmful and ignorant. You clearly haven't got an utter clue how ethical and healthy polyamory works and are basing this ridiculous post off of stereotypes or scenarios extrapolated and generalised out through your own prejudice. There are examples of polyamory done poorly, like the "seeking another woman" you mentioned. But monogamy can also be done equally as poorly. So, again, why are you so hateful? What made you feel like writing this and attacking others for doing something that, when done correctly, is safe and consensual for all involved. Just let people live their lives, yeesh. (edited)

Kevin

3mo

INTP

Polyamory is usually mutual and consensual. Is it still considered 'cheating' when it is both a mutual and fully open topic of conversation (meaning no secrets) between two people? 🧐🤔 (edited)

Will

3mo

ENFP

Scorpio

I’ll never understand why people think they can love everyone in their poly relationship equally, that’s not how it works and it always leaves someone hurt more than others

Debu

4mo

ISFP

Honestly, it's really sad to see people misuse relationships like that. Everyone deserves respect and transparency. 😭💔

Rachel

3mo

INFJ

Libra

Not saying I agree or disagree with the lifestyle, but raising a family on two incomes? Why not 3? Or more! It seems like the financially beneficial thing to do lol

𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢ℜ𝔬𝔟

3mo

ENFP

Cancer

"People are doing something harmless that doesn't effect me personally, but it brings my piss to a boil because they're wrong and I'm right" is what I gleamed from that.

Stacey

3mo

INFJ

Leo

You can't generalize a statement like that and then be more specific with it... If you're uncomfortable with all the dudes and gals and theys on here cheating or looking for another partner, then look away. Polyamory isn't an excuse to cheat, just because you're u comfortable with something or can't grasp it's nuance doesn't mean you are right. It's just an opinion, not a fact. And I understand you stated it as an unpopular opinion, still though, you speak as though it is fact. If you're getting creepy messages or what have you, then report and block the user. Stay safe out there

Dan

3mo

ENTP

Virgo

Wait so being open about what you want and then your partner being open and ok with it is cheating? I'm pretty sure those relationships are stronger than a lot of traditional ones where both parties lie and actually cheat lol I'm not poly or anything but I can tell superior communication built in to a relationships structure when I see it. 🤷🤷

Darian

3mo

ENTJ

Taurus

This opinion is more popular then you realize. 🤌🤌🤌

Liam

3mo

INTP

Gemini

It is a interesting perspective but a don’t think it’s cheating if ur partner knows abt it and wants the same thing. However, if u r polyamous and u havent told/discussed it way ur partner then a would say uv crossed a line and then it’s considered cheating 👍 (edited)

Lynnae

3mo

INFJ

Virgo

Not siding either way but: 1. So much for the "Let them" theory. 2. If it bothers you so greatly, might want to do some inner reflection on why you're taking others choices so personally while judging choices out of your control.

Desiree

3mo

INFP

Cancer

I would heavily disagree that polyamory is just an excuse to cheat. I would AGREE that a lot of people, mostly men, try to use polyamory as a form of cheating.

ET_Not_That_ET

3mo

ISFP

Gemini

All of the people I have seen in poly relationships on this app don't make poly look appealing AT ALL. It's the most average looking people doing it and I be shocked they're looking for partner #2 after getting lucky with one.

Lamin

4mo

ISFJ

Aquarius

Definitely.

Allan

3mo

ISTJ

I completely agree with you. Your thoughts are the same as mine, but the reality is that nowadays there is a dearth of people who have such thoughts, not of thoughts. Today the world definitely talks about love, but the society does not love except with selfish love. Cheating on a partner is not just cheating on him/her; it is cheating on the trust placed in him/her, betraying their hopes and dreams.

Cory

3mo

INFP

Aquarius

I feel most people who are poly or "ethical non-monogamous", are the same people who would normally sleep around before these terms were popularized. At least they're giving the rest of us a heads up now lol

Alec

3mo

ENTP

Libra

Facts

Michael

3mo

INFJ

Relativity is not your friend, is it?

Miguel

3mo

INFP

Leo

Its funny you say this, becuase it was my wife's point of view on marriage that I'm currently looking for more "friends". Polyamorous means deep friendships for her, so im trying that out since my pov on marriage is exclusivity. I cant change her, so im trying out her view since i love her. Deep friendships doesn't mean anything sexual by the way

Andreas

3mo

INTJ

Aries

It’s a very western view to see it that way, there really isn’t anything wrong with being in a poly relationship, aslong as all parties are okay with it

3mo

INTP

Aquarius

Real Poly relationships are very open and will often introduce you to their partner before they engage in any acts with you, if somone says they are poly but doesn't want you to know their partners they are liying to you

Chance Lollar

4mo

INTP

Capricorn

That opinion is a lot more popular than you think...

Richard

3mo

INFJ

Just another preference thing I think. Even when monogamous, you love different people at different times. Is your next love lessened by the fact that there was one prior? Is your previous love lessened? Do you forget them completely or carry them in your heart? I see no reason a person can't love two or more people concurrently. Not sure if it's something I'd ever go for personally, but I'm always open-minded.

Kevin

19d

ENTJ

Taurus

This is a big standard opinion that most monogamous people have.

Rachel 🦋

3mo

ENFJ

Aries

Agree 💯

Louis

3mo

INFJ

Cancer

Welcome to 2025

𝑟𝑎𝑙.

3mo

ESTP

Capricorn

yes.

Jakob

3mo

INFP

Cancer

I agree entirely, though I've seen a ton of women trying to do it (both sides do, I just personally encounter more women due to being a guy on dating apps and not a girl). ENM is fine (both agreeing to be able to sleep around)-- it isn't for me, but power to those that do. Poly is just that though yeah. No one realistically has the time to properly care for more than one romantic partner. Someone is going to feel left out. Extremely rare exceptions where all parties involved are bi/pan and genuinely love each other but that is really, really rare.

Paul

3mo

INTJ

Aquarius

It shouldn't be an unpopular opinion.

Seth

3mo

ENTJ

Scorpio

Polygamy is degenerate and abhorrent

Jason

3mo

INFJ

Libra

Nicely said

Christophe

3mo

INTJ

Sagittarius

Relationships are a bit like food. Everyone has preferences. Some have allergic reactions to some forms. Some say they do not want your fries, and takes a couple while you aren't looking. Some say they will go on a diet, but at 3am are robbing the fridge. Some just stick to the same food every day. And some do not tolerate the spiciness. But coming back on topic. It depends on the pretext. Men and women lying about their relationship status, I'm pretty sure everyone universally agrees that that isn't morally right. With regards to people going to bed with many different people, well, there's a difference between polyamory, and polyfuckery. One implies that you can have emotions for multiple people at the same time, while the other one has no emotions required. Something I've learned from my previous relationships is that, you can't be 100% for someone (hey, those people do exits, and I'm happy for them because it's super hard to find!), but I think trusting each other enough and allowing them to experience different things it very exciting all by itself (you want your partner to be happy). But it's all about communication and trusting each other, find what makes everyone happy and their needs met. Seeing other people does not automatically mean you love your partner less. It's kinda like one partner likes horror movies and the other romcoms, and you don't want to watch the same together. You still love each other for their uniqueness and individuality, and allow them to enjoy certain things you don't like for the sake of their happiness. Same thing with relationships, if not, I personnally feel this strengthens the relationship when you are together in the first place for all the right reasons.

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Unpopular opinion: polyamory is just an excuse to cheat on your partner

Dating Community

Its putting the other person on the back burner and turning them into a possession to return to. It's weird.

It's less of a gender thing than you realize. The women do the same things and seem rather suspect as well. I'm willing to try to give people a chance, but I just really don't think it's for me. To each their own, I guess 🤷

Polyamory is usually mutual and consensual. Is it still considered 'cheating' when it is both a mutual and fully open topic of conversation (meaning no secrets) between two people? 🧐🤔 (edited)

I’ll never understand why people think they can love everyone in their poly relationship equally, that’s not how it works and it always leaves someone hurt more than others

Honestly, it's really sad to see people misuse relationships like that. Everyone deserves respect and transparency. 😭💔

Not saying I agree or disagree with the lifestyle, but raising a family on two incomes? Why not 3? Or more! It seems like the financially beneficial thing to do lol

"People are doing something harmless that doesn't effect me personally, but it brings my piss to a boil because they're wrong and I'm right" is what I gleamed from that.

This opinion is more popular then you realize. 🤌🤌🤌

It is a interesting perspective but a don’t think it’s cheating if ur partner knows abt it and wants the same thing. However, if u r polyamous and u havent told/discussed it way ur partner then a would say uv crossed a line and then it’s considered cheating 👍 (edited)

Not siding either way but: 1. So much for the "Let them" theory. 2. If it bothers you so greatly, might want to do some inner reflection on why you're taking others choices so personally while judging choices out of your control.

I would heavily disagree that polyamory is just an excuse to cheat. I would AGREE that a lot of people, mostly men, try to use polyamory as a form of cheating.

All of the people I have seen in poly relationships on this app don't make poly look appealing AT ALL. It's the most average looking people doing it and I be shocked they're looking for partner #2 after getting lucky with one.

Definitely.

I feel most people who are poly or "ethical non-monogamous", are the same people who would normally sleep around before these terms were popularized. At least they're giving the rest of us a heads up now lol

Facts

Relativity is not your friend, is it?

It’s a very western view to see it that way, there really isn’t anything wrong with being in a poly relationship, aslong as all parties are okay with it

Real Poly relationships are very open and will often introduce you to their partner before they engage in any acts with you, if somone says they are poly but doesn't want you to know their partners they are liying to you

That opinion is a lot more popular than you think...

This is a big standard opinion that most monogamous people have.

Agree 💯

Welcome to 2025

yes.

It shouldn't be an unpopular opinion.

Polygamy is degenerate and abhorrent

Nicely said

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