The 5 Best MBTI Types to Share a Flat With
Finding the right flatmate can sometimes feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. The pressure to find someone who matches your lifestyle, habits, and personality can lead to stress and anxiety. What if your new flatmate turns out to be messy, noisy, or simply incompatible?
You might lose sleep over the potential conflicts and misunderstandings that could arise. Imagine waking up to dirty dishes in the sink (again) or dealing with constant late-night parties when you have an early morning meeting. These scenarios can make your home environment more of a battleground than a sanctuary, affecting your peace of mind and overall well-being.
But fret not! This article will guide you through the five best MBTI types to share a flat with, ensuring harmonious and enjoyable living arrangements. From thoughtful and organized individuals to those brimming with empathy, let's explore who makes the ideal flatmates.

The Psychology of Living Together and Its Importance
Living with others isn't just about sharing space; it's an intricate dance of personalities, habits, and preferences. Psychologists argue that cohabitation success largely depends on compatibility, communication, and mutual respect. When personalities clash, conflicts ensue, and the home environment can become toxic.
For example, a "Realist" (ISTJ) who values structure and routine might find it challenging to cohabitate with a "Performer" (ESFP) who thrives on spontaneity and social activities. Scientific studies highlight how differing personality types manage conflicts, stress, and even daily routines differently. By understanding and leveraging these personality traits, we can create more harmonious living situations.
One real-world example is Sarah and Jess, long-time friends who decided to share a flat. Sarah, an "Artist" (ISFP), brought creativity and a laid-back vibe to the space, while Jess, a "Guardian" (INFJ), provided structure and empathy. Their complementary traits led to minimal conflicts and a supportive living environment.
The Best MBTI Types to Share a Flat With
When it comes to selecting the best flatmate, the following five MBTI types stand out for their unique abilities to create a harmonious living environment.
Here are the top choices:
INFJ - Guardian: The Empathetic Mediator
Guardians, or INFJs, are known for their deep empathy and strong sense of responsibility. They thrive in environments where they can support others and are often seen as the emotional backbone of a household. Their natural inclination to listen and understand makes them great flatmates, as they can help resolve conflicts before they escalate. They create a safe space for open communication, ensuring that everyone feels heard and valued.
In addition to their emotional support, INFJs are typically organized and conscientious about their living space. They often take the initiative to establish household rules and agreements that promote fairness and cooperation. Their ability to foresee potential issues allows them to address problems proactively, making them ideal for maintaining harmony in shared living situations. Some key traits of INFJs include:
- Strong empathy and active listening skills
- Conflict resolution abilities
- A commitment to creating a comfortable living environment
INTJ - Mastermind: The Strategic Organizer
Masterminds, or INTJs, are characterized by their analytical thinking and exceptional organizational skills. They value cleanliness and order, making them ideal flatmates for those who appreciate a tidy living space. INTJs often take on the role of planners, ensuring that household chores and responsibilities are clearly defined and executed efficiently. Their strategic mindset allows them to approach household management with a level of foresight that prevents chaos and disarray.
Moreover, INTJs are independent and self-sufficient, which means they respect personal space and privacy. They are not prone to unnecessary drama and prefer to keep interactions straightforward and purposeful. This can create a peaceful living environment where each person can thrive without feeling overwhelmed. Key attributes of INTJs include:
- High standards for cleanliness and organization
- Strategic planning abilities for household management
- Respect for personal boundaries and independence
INFP - Peacemaker: The Compassionate Comforter
Peacemakers, or INFPs, are gentle souls who prioritize harmony in their living environments. Their easy-going nature allows them to navigate conflicts with grace and understanding, making them wonderful flatmates for those who appreciate a calm atmosphere. INFPs are often sensitive to the feelings of others, which enables them to create a nurturing space where everyone feels at ease. They are likely to engage in meaningful conversations that foster deeper connections among housemates.
Additionally, INFPs have a creative side that can bring a unique flair to the living space. They may decorate or personalize shared areas in ways that reflect their values and aesthetics, contributing to a warm and inviting home. Their laid-back approach to life means they are often flexible and adaptable, which can help ease tensions during stressful times. Some notable traits of INFPs include:
- Strong emotional intelligence and compassion
- A creative approach to shared living spaces
- Flexibility and adaptability in group dynamics
ISTJ - Realist: The Dependable Planner
Realists, or ISTJs, are known for their reliability and commitment to structure. They thrive on routines and appreciate a well-organized living environment. This makes them dependable flatmates who adhere to agreed-upon schedules and responsibilities. ISTJs are often the ones who ensure that chores are completed on time and that household rules are followed, contributing to a sense of stability in the home.
Their grounded nature also means they approach problems logically, preferring to resolve conflicts through practical solutions rather than emotional discussions. This can be particularly beneficial in shared living situations where differing opinions may arise. ISTJs value tradition and consistency, which can help create a harmonious and predictable living environment. Key characteristics of ISTJs include:
- Strong sense of duty and reliability
- Preference for routine and structure
- Logical problem-solving skills
ESFJ - Ambassador: The Social Harmonizer
Ambassadors, or ESFJs, are the quintessential social butterflies of the MBTI types. They thrive on building relationships and fostering a sense of community within their living spaces. Their warm and considerate nature makes them approachable and easy to communicate with, which encourages open dialogue among housemates. ESFJs are often the glue that holds the group together, ensuring that everyone feels included and valued.
In addition to their social skills, ESFJs excel at creating a welcoming atmosphere. They often take the initiative to organize group activities or communal meals, strengthening bonds among flatmates. Their attention to the emotional climate of the household allows them to sense when someone is feeling down and take steps to uplift their spirits. Some defining traits of ESFJs include:
- Strong interpersonal skills and empathy
- Ability to foster a sense of community
- Proactive in creating a warm and inviting home environment
Potential Pitfalls When Choosing a Flatmate
While selecting the right MBTI type can lead to a harmonious living situation, there are potential pitfalls to be aware of. Understanding these can help prevent conflicts and ensure a positive cohabitation experience.
Miscommunication and misunderstandings
Even the best-intentioned individuals can sometimes miscommunicate or misunderstand each other. To avoid this, make it a habit to have regular check-ins where you discuss household expectations, schedules, and any brewing concerns.
Different cleanliness standards
Cleanliness can be a significant point of contention. Establish clear cleaning schedules and responsibilities from the onset to avoid resentment. Consider creating a shared calendar to keep track of chores and ensure everyone is on the same page.
Financial disagreements
Money matters can strain any relationship. Be transparent about bills, rent, and other expenses from the beginning. Use apps or tools to track shared expenses and ensure everyone contributes fairly.
Diverse social habits
Some people enjoy having friends over frequently, while others value quiet time. Discuss social habits early on to find a balance that respects everyone's preferences. Setting up designated quiet times can help manage this dynamic.
Privacy concerns
Everyone needs their personal space and time to recharge. Respect each other's privacy and boundaries. Designate certain areas of the flat as private spaces or agree on "do not disturb" times.
Latest Research: Shared Interests and the Formation of Digital Friendships
Han et al.'s study into the dynamics of friendship formation in online social networks sheds light on the role of shared interests in bringing people together in digital spaces. This research highlights how users with similar interests are more likely to form friendships, especially when they share demographic characteristics or are geographically close. For adults, this study underscores the potential of online platforms to serve as valuable tools for expanding social circles and finding communities where shared passions can lead to meaningful friendships.
The findings suggest that digital environments offer unique opportunities for adults to connect with others who share their interests, regardless of physical distance. This research encourages individuals to actively engage with online communities and platforms as a means of cultivating friendships that might not be possible in their immediate physical surroundings, highlighting the importance of shared interests in forming and deepening connections.
Investigating Alike People, Alike Interests? in Online Social Networks by Han et al. enriches our understanding of how modern technology influences social connections, demonstrating the power of shared interests in fostering digital friendships. By exploring the mechanisms of friendship formation in the digital age, this study offers insights into the evolving landscape of social relationships, emphasizing the significance of online platforms in building supportive and engaging communities based on common interests.
FAQs
What should I do if my flatmate's personality type causes conflict?
Address conflicts early and calmly. Understanding their personality traits can give insights into their behavior and help in finding common ground. Focus on open communication and mutual respect.
How can I use MBTI to improve my living situation?
Use MBTI to understand your flatmate's natural tendencies and preferences. This can inform how you approach cleaning duties, socializing, and conflict resolution, making cohabitation smoother and more enjoyable.
Are certain personality types more likely to be messy?
Yes, some types may have a more relaxed approach to cleanliness. Discuss expectations early and set up a cleaning schedule that accommodates everyone's habits and preferences to maintain harmony.
How do I balance different social habits in a shared living space?
Communicate and compromise. If one person enjoys social gatherings and the other values alone time, set up a schedule or agree on times for social activities that work for both parties.
Can personality types change over time, affecting our living arrangement?
Personality types are relatively stable but can adapt over time. Regularly check in with each other to ensure that your living arrangements continue to meet both of your needs.
Conclusion: Find Your Perfect Flatmate
Choosing the right flatmate can make all the difference in creating a harmonious living environment. By understanding the strengths and preferences of different MBTI types, you can select a flatmate who complements your lifestyle and minimizes conflict. Whether you value empathy, organization, peace, reliability, or social harmony, there's an ideal flatmate out there for you. Reflect on the insights shared here, and approach your search with confidence and optimism. A peaceful and enjoyable flat-sharing experience is just around the corner!