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Arianna
Arianna

1mo

INFJ

Leo

2
1

4 Awards

Dating is hard that's why I give up now

I start dating when I moved to the US because I didn't have friends, so I didn't have my group, and I had to restart from the beginning. I always found it hard since I decided to download some apps. I went out with some guys but most of the time I've been ghosted or other kind of problems. Then I met one guy, who made me feel like being in a rollercoaster but I can say with him I felt different (even if he broke my heart multiple times) and I thought he was the one and I was ready to accept everything about him, his lies as well (because I'm not stupid, I know when he was lying to me) and I know that's not good but I fell so hard for him and I don't blame myself for saying it out loud. But then I noticed we weren't on the same page, and even if I miss him sometimes, I can say how hard is dating nowadays because HIM and others left me some scars (big and small). Some people don't say openly what they are looking for (not most of them). Some people tend to hide their emotions because we are strangers and they are scared to open up, I can understand, but there are a lot of ways to start the relationship as... Friends and then slowly something can rise. Some people tend to try to be superficial because (again) they don't want to show something vulnerable about them or they are scared to feel something really big as "love". Some people are here just to have "fun" and think everyone is looking for the same thing without respecting other people's boundaries even if they are clear from the beginning. I met people who were thinking it was okay to go to their apartment soon or kiss them the first day we spent time together. I met people who were thinking to make "sex jokes" soon was fun, while I wanted to start a normal conversation as two normal people who want to know each other. I met people who were pretending to like you just for their own benefit and when they see they don't have it, they drop you off. Most people think this is a game when there are people who want to really find someone, but after meeting this kind of ELEMENTS, they give up (as I did). Because it's too stressful and it takes a lot of energies away. I hope one day all this can change and most of the people out there can really start feeling the real meaning of "loving someone back" and stop thinking with their ego. And I'm not talking only about starting a "relationship" but also respecting other people's feelings. (edited)

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Daniel
Daniel

1mo

INTP

It is saddening that you had to experience such heartbreak. It is unfortunate that people weren’t up front. I also think “giving up” (I prefer calling it letting go) may be an important step. It is freeing to just be. To give only what you want and expect nothing. Wishing you inner peace

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