Thorns
Thorns

2y

ESFJ

Capricorn

2
1

Video games vs Relationship

Is it wrong for me to demand some time, attention and be more caring. I let him play video games but I do want attention too knowing I can only be with him for 3 days a week.

70

117

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Tosh

Tosh

2y

ENFJ

Aquarius

2
3

Videogames is a waste of time

3

27

Reply

Dylan

Dylan

2y

INTJ

Capricorn

8
7

If he doesn't want to get out of the house and spend time with his woman, that's an addiction-fueled & careless man imo. Playing FPS games is fun & cool & all, but I'd much rather go bowling randomly; or go out on a hike during the day.

3

2

Reply

Justin

Justin

2y

ISTJ

Aquarius

In my opinion I don't see any reason why he can't schedule his personal entertainment time around that if you only see him 3 times a week.

5

0

Reply

Sheng

Sheng

2y

ENTP

Sagittarius

5
4

10

0

Reply

Ethan Cottrell

Ethan Cottrell

2y

ENTP

Leo

7
8

Communicate your feelings with him expressing your desire for more attention but also let him explain why he plays his games so much and maybe try to join him and play with him. Either way it's all about coming up with a compromise for the both of you

3

1

Reply

Mackenzie Flower

Mackenzie Flower

2y

ENFJ

Aries

4
5

Being able to have your own hobbies is really important. First and foremost you should tell him how you feel. You could also try to be more intentional of setting up plans with him on the days you can be together. However if he's ditching plans you made together to play video games, then he's holding them at a higher value than you.

2

0

Reply

DrunkMemory

DrunkMemory

2y

INFJ

Libra

That should never be compared. Drop this little ass boy. Let a real man play with you all day and every day

2

0

Reply

Trenton

Trenton

2y

INFJ

Taurus

I wouldn't demand for his attention and time. I would bring it up that it bothers you and that you want to spend more time with him because you only have 3 days together

1

0

Reply

Matt

Matt

2y

INTP

Aries

He should value the time he does get with you and be able to give you some of his time no matter what. If he doesn't do that and you've told him you'd like to spend more time with him and nothing changes I would consider breaking up with him. That's my opinion on it.

1

0

Reply

Jacob

Jacob

2y

INFJ

Aquarius

3times a week! Tell his ass to get off and spend some time with you

1

0

Reply

Devin

Devin

2y

INFP

Gemini

Lemme give you some attention then. 🀧 lololol

1

0

Reply

Makana

Makana

2y

INTP

Taurus

4
5

Try the game It Takes Two! It's the perfect couple's co-op game.

1

0

Reply

Ger

Ger

2y

ISFP

Leo

7
6

Most important question is was he like this before you where in a relationship with him?

1

0

Reply

Donnie

Donnie

2y

INTJ

Pisces

6
7

Never is it wrong to demand attention but when you don't communicate or set up a plan the relationship can become strained

1

0

Reply

Ryan

Ryan

2y

INTP

Aquarius

5
6

Might be best to speak to him about it if you have not yet rather than blast it over an app. Maybe then he will explain why he plays videos games, maybe even sit with him and be there with him while he plays. Maybe even play with him. This sort of thing needs different solutions to fix depending on the couple. My last relationship we had to compromise to keep our hobbies, and in the process we also found new hobbies. She now enjoys video games and I enjoy hiking, simply due to us signalling that we wanting some time together. So, we tried spending it during our hobbies. (edited)

1

0

Reply

Noel

Noel

2y

INTJ

Sagittarius

The choice is yours. But if he chooses to prioritize his games over his time with you. He's probably not a good match. You need to communicate with him that you want to spend time with him. You want to go and do things. And that his games will be there anytime While you are only there 3 days out of the 7. Don't demand though. That pushes people into shells and builds up walls. Which he might retreat into his games because he feels less than you. And he's not sure how to express those feelings.

1

0

Reply

The loser

The loser

2y

INFP

Taurus

9
1

Well, if you let it get to you too much, your hair will fall out and we can then be bald buddies 🀣

1

0

Reply

Akira

Akira

2y

ISFP

Virgo

No matter how much you love someone who treats you like this, you can't be together, you have the right to feel loved!

1

0

Reply

Michael

Michael

2y

INTP

Sagittarius

It's not wrong to feel like that. It also depends on what you guys do together if he doesn't play? I stopped playing video games when I was in relationship because I had more fun playing with her. I am sure he knows how you feel and unless he is a super catch that puts a roof over your head, leave him.

1

0

Reply

Kaleb

Kaleb

2y

INTJ

Leo

8
7

There's nothing wrong with that. At the end of the day, video games are just games, and you're a real person in the real world.

1

0

Reply

MJ

MJ

2y

ISTJ

Capricorn

He has to feel by himself and if he can't, why you are still there?

1

0

Reply

Peter

Peter

2y

INTJ

Scorpio

2
3

Generally speak a lot of what people have already said has truth to it. This is a more complicated issue than it appears. First and foremost communication will help the most, but only when tempered with understanding and patience. This can be straining and difficult in relationships. Its something that needs to be discussed, and is quite a common problem ive seen among couples. Its difficult to address this with one simple statement. So ill try to address it generally speaking. Is it wrong to demand some time, attention, and be more caring. Yes and no. Im not sure if you meant this intentionally, but demanding these things is the wrong way to look at it. I would say, its important to share your feeling and thoughts, in hopes of coming to a resolution. Demanding anything is not an effective way to get things generally speaking. "You let him play games" When worded like that (I could be misunderstanding of course.) it sounds as if youre in control and decide when he plays games. If that is the case then this is a potential problem. If i misunderstood the meaning, if you could clarify so as to give me a better understanding of what you mean. You can only be with him 3 days a week. There are a lot of things to address in relation to this. Im just gonna ask some retorical questions to provoke thought. Answer them if you like, it will give me a better understanding of the dynamic. How often do you communicate via other means? Does he know you feel this way? (That you want more attention) When you spend time together, are you doing something you both mutually want to do? What do you do when he plays video games? (Do you watch, do you interrupt him, do you distract him, do you go off and do something else?) How often does he spend playing video games when youre not there? Heres a few questions worth answering, and thinking about.There are a lot more questions that need to be answered and considered though. You should message me if you really want specific help, its difficult to give any advice when i dont know all the details. To sum up. Communication goes bothways. The majority of the time its something couples struggle with, and something we all need to practice. Try to be understanding, and communicate how you feel and try to come to a solution that you BOTH agree with. Do not agree with it if you do not both truly find it acceptable. I wish you luck in your relationship. Best of luck! Ps message me if you want any help/guidance.

1

0

Reply

Kevin

Kevin

2y

ENFP

Virgo

7
8

Hmm, abit tricky. How long can he play video games? Honestly, it's really what he desires and you desire. If he can play video games 7 days a week and only has you for those 3 days, he should definitely prioritize you if he truly values that time with you. However, if he can only play two times a week or less, then you should let him enjoy that.. maybe 1 day out of those three days you have, see if there is a game you might wanna play with him? Ask him to show you some games, Smash Bros, Mario Cart.. heck, I've watched my ex play The Sims, even if it's a one player. But most importantly, it's abit of abit from both parties.. you shouldn't have to play games all on all your days to be with him, that's selfish on his part. Let him know, you want to do something else too and you support his gaming habits but he needs to take advantage of what he has an opportunity less of. 3 days with my loved one and I know what I'd be doing. WinkWink; (edited)

1

0

Reply

Thomas

Thomas

2y

ESFP

Libra

It's not 'video games', it's him. People need to schedule their time where needed. If they care enough, they'll cut out time to spend with you. I can do it. So can he.

1

0

Reply

Luke

Luke

2y

ENFJ

Capricorn

6
7

Well many people use games to destress and have fun, but a relationship has substance you can't get anywhere else. I wouldn't say one should be chosen and the other discarded, but it's about balance. Let's say one reason they're spending more time on games is they're stressed and exhausted. If that's true then maybe the reason they aren't doing as much is they're so stressed or tired they're in pain. When someone in a relationship with me is spending less time with me it's usually because of stress. The worst thing you can do, actually, is to demand more time and love from them. Figure out what is stressing them and find small ways to show THEM love and affection. One of my girlfriends was so busy and stressed with school she didn't speak much a whole week, but I would bring her coffee and come by to give her a hug and kiss once a day. I saw her for probably 10 minutes during the school week. She wanted to spend the whole weekend with me and we ended up doing tons but she wanted me to pick what we did since I supported her all week long. It is wrong to demand time because you need to make sure you truly are loving a person to receive the same. But if the problem isn't that you're not giving enough, then I would point it out to them. If that doesn't work, then it's time to leave.

1

0

Reply

Akash

Akash

2y

ISFP

Leo

If you were mine I don't play vedio games i play with you πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜‰ 24hrs 365 day πŸ˜‰

1

0

Reply

Lewis

Lewis

2y

ENFP

Taurus

9
1

Tbf I'd get rid... you're more important than a poxy video game. He can play them whenever whereas like you said you see him 3 days a week

1

0

Reply

Lynn

Lynn

2y

INFJ

Gemini

No, it's not wrong at all to ask for the games or other distractions to be put aside and have their presence and time focused to spending time together. If they can't put distractions aside to do this they're the ones who need to figure out priorities and what's important. All about being aware that playing games together doesn't work or count for a lot of people and listening to their wants and needs. -A fellow gamer

1

0

Reply

Amanda

Amanda

2y

INFP

Aquarius

8
7

I'm a gamer so I can sorta understand, but why does it have to be one or the other? Why can't you both play games or at least show an interest in each others hobbies? Also look at the words you're using here "Demand, I let him play". If you're making demands, instead of calmly communicating your feelings, he might end up playing even more. Tell him how you feel without trying to control the situation. It's not wrong for you to want more attention or care. He really should schedule his play time to when you're unavailable or include you in his gaming. Good luck.

1

0

Reply

Ike

Ike

2y

ENTJ

Leo

Ahhhhh he needs to priotise his girl first i mean its just three days out of 7 . Come on he needs to more caring than

1

0

Reply

Аня

Аня

2y

INFP

6
7

it means you're not as interesting as the games. maybe he would be happy to spend time with you, but he does not know what interesting things you could do, just not to sit together and stare at the wall. you could, for example, play together

1

0

Reply

C

C

2y

INTP

Libra

Sounds fair, make plans with him beforehand so he knows not to play at that time.

1

0

Reply

Josh

Josh

2y

ISFJ

Cancer

6
5

Nobody likes to feel ignored or left out

1

0

Reply

Slade

Slade

2y

INFJ

Libra

2
3

I would say that being "demanding" is wrong, because it's trying to control and real love isn't controlling; However it is normal to desire attention from your significant other, and the best way to do this is through communication and compromise/as so many have previously said.

1

0

Reply

Toby

Toby

2y

ISTJ

Aries

It isn’t wrong to ask for attention. He should automatically paying more attention to you than the video games.

1

0

Reply

Gian

Gian

2y

ISTJ

Virgo

2
1

I didn't read all, so I am adding this... if u only meet 3 times a week I think there is something wrong if he plays games those days u sre visiting. My bad for the previous comment. Original comment: That just means ur bored and ur loved one isn't. I think you should look in other hobbies u might spend some time in. In my case I love playing my videogames, I give attention to my girlfriends, but it's better when u have something else to distract u, apart from the typical thing (spending time together, watching netflix series, movies...). Liking a routine, and decreasing the attentional demands is a way to be mature. Most girls I have gone out with always want 'something new, something exiting, 24/7 heart beat symphonies...', that just means u want change and u aren't comfortable. In my opinion, learning to like a daily routine shows a better relationship (as long as u have enough communication between actions). I'd reccommend to find additionals hobbies together. First try to like their hobbies or make them like yours. Talk to them, to know how important the games are, how you can be with him while he plays or how him playing makes u feel a bit unattended. Second, try to make it something that has to be in your life. Making things 'negative' will be a time bomb later. Try to dee the positive of it (they aren't going out with other persons, they like to stay at home playing games and will be loyal). Games are a way to escape reality, cus reality isn't always 'great', ask him why he plays. Understand and see if there is smth there that attracts u. Games have tons of stuff like netflix series and movies, its just that people don't know how to play or haven't been immersed in the type they like. Try to see their hobby in a positive way. Third, if none of these work, that means there is a problem. Check how much it influences u and think if u need more to be happy, what you miss in life for that hsppines and what needs a change. Sorry for the long text, hope it helps someone. (edited)

1

0

Reply

Ansh

Ansh

2y

ENFP

Sagittarius

Can you elaborate on why you can only spend 3 days a week with him? And does he have free time during the other days of the week? If so, then he should well spend more time with you, if not, then you should try gaming with him. I suggest sitting down with him and having an open conversation with him, and discuss on how you can move forward with this. Like maybe limit the gaming to a few hours, and spend the rest of the time doing something else with you. The key to a good relationship is proper and open and honest communication. You both need to come to an agreement, that is suitable for both parties. Don't be like no games for you only spend time with me or somethin, try to come to an agreement that suits both of you

1

0

Reply

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