Is it better to be more similar or different to a partner? And in what ways? Does it matter?
5/24/2025
469
3118
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new
6mo
ENTJ
Gemini
87
I don't think theirs a generalized answer for this. It's all personal for each person. Each individual needs to find someone to matches their vibe and that person the same. Whether if they are similar or different, it's just whatever works for them. I've seen happy couples in both regards.
50
4
6mo
ENFJ
Sagittarius
34
Hey, look who it is! I think differences are a great opportunity for growth and learning new things but there should be some balance. Similitudes in terms of basic values, beliefs, ambitions, future plans, etc.. would be beneficial for a stronger foundation to an enduring connection.
47
16
6mo
INFP
91
Nice! Daniel! QofD! Personally, I would go with a balance of both. Similar in core values and life goals. Gotta have the foundation of a relationship down. Dfferences in personality traits, interests/hobbies, strengths and weaknesses. These can open a new world and you'll have things you can share with your partner. The structure of the relationship. Difference can enrich a relationship if both people respect and adapt to each other. Flexibility and empathy matter more than just being similar or different.
24
5
6mo
ENFP
Pisces
Similar, but not exact copies. Otherwise we have the same weaknesses! Lol. I would like us to have the same main values though. As long as we can be in the same areas, even if doing different things, that's pretty good. There has to be compromise to do activities together though. I think after playing video games on my own lately, I'm glad gamer etiquette for relationships is very established now. It was hard for millenials, we didn't have as much direction when we were young adults. Most millenials in their 20s were either addicts or didn't game. While I would rather date someone who doesn't game, as long as it's balanced and we play together like twice a month, it's not a deal breaker for me anymore. (edited)
19
7
6mo
INFJ
Aquarius
21
As long as we are willing to understand each other better, similarities and differences doesn't matter. (edited)
20
3
6mo
INFJ
Libra
21
12
2
6mo
INFJ
Aries
67
Both. But in the right places. It’s not about being the same or different. It’s about having shared intentions and emotional openness, no matter how similar or opposite you are. *Kudos Daniel for being on today’s qotd! Happy to see familiar faces in the feed. It’s gonna be busy day for you.hehe 😉
10
5
6mo
ISFP
Scorpio
I think it's better to be opposite personality vise bcs u get it right opposites attract and fr opposite personalities complete each other like for example if both of u r not at all clingy or smthng then will u never hug, sit in each other's laps etc? But if one is clingy then automatically they'll match out. But I think intrestests vise it's good to have similar so u both can enjoy same activities and one of u doesn't have to force it. It doest actually matter if u love them or can make things out but just my opinion
11
0
6mo
INFP
Scorpio
45
I think it's more comfortable to be similar otherwise you might be butting heads too much over everything, yet at the same time it can also be fun to learn new things and gain new interests from someone that's more different than you (edited)
10
1
6mo
ENTJ
91
Similarity builds ease. Difference builds depth. I don’t need someone the same—I need someone who syncs, even in contrast.
8
1
6mo
INFP
45
It matters only when you can’t find a middle ground
7
1
6mo
INFJ
Sagittarius
Opposites attract!
5
2
6mo
INFJ
Scorpio
65
4
2
6mo
INTJ
Capricorn
45
Well, compatibility is key and which bits fit where and how you compliment each other. Basically everything matters and nothing matters at all
4
1
6mo
ENFP
Taurus
23
So yes and no, depends and yes 🤔
4
0
6mo
INTJ
Pisces
78
I dont think it matters. But if you are different, it is important to try and engage in the others' interests.
4
0
6mo
INTJ
Sagittarius
67
It matters, but I think there needs to be a balance. You need to compliment and complete each others in various ways. Sometimes it will require a difference and sometimes a similarity. Like for me it's important that my partner is of different gender, but loved me with the strength that is similar to the one with which I love her. ❤
4
2
6mo
ESFP
Leo
I think both of them are good ,you should be similar in basic things and different in other things .and yeah it is matter because this differences make your relationship exciting
4
0
6mo
ISFP
Cancer
Ok
3
1
6mo
INTJ
Scorpio
54
It's important to have balance. Having similarities is great for bonding and building comfortability in a relationship but having differences is good too because it adds to the foundation. You can show me something I don't know about, that you are passionate about and vice versa. Just my opinion though.
3
1
6mo
INTJ
According to me there has to be certain similarities such interest, education hobbies likes and dislikes which creates attraction between them, conversation on topics of interest helps in getting to know and like each other better.So definitely similarity does matter.
4
0
6mo
INTP
Virgo
It doesn’t really matter to me as long as they know I’ll love them and they love me. While also having support on each end too
3
0
6mo
INFP
Pisces
I think it's good to be similar.
2
0
6mo
ENFJ
Aquarius
21
Similiar to an extent
3
0
6mo
ESFJ
Sagittarius
No
2
0
6mo
INFP
Cancer
45
Both are necessary. Similar in values, but it’s fine to be different in other ways. That said, I find that the older I get I see a lot of value in having similar interests as well 😅
3
0
6mo
INTP
65
I don't think it matters. Differences are intriguing. Similarities are a vibe. I like to learn either way. 🤷♂️ Doesn't matter to me. That's why I initially had my status as a Trump & Elon supporter up, then took it down. Idgaf what she believes. She could be socialist, I'd be like okay I can see your logic. I disagree, but let's have fun and experience each other anyway. Here's the thing, no one is 100% like you. So you have to contend with differences one way or another. Some differences--like politics or religion--are highly stratifying and contentious and should just generally be avoided if you are different, imo. If you're the same, okay, it's kind of this baseline of "okay, sure, I agree..... ..... Bored." If she wants to drink my blood, that's a boundary I'm not willing to cross, so it's obviously contextual. But barring harm to humans or animals, idgaf if she's different or the same. She's probably interesting anyway. (edited)
3
0
6mo
ISFP
Gemini
19
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0
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