Jay

Posted Tuesday, October 18, 2022

1y

ISTP

Cancer

9

1

Breaking the dating cycle and a hard truth.

Dating should be fun right? But in reality, it can be depressing. But why? I did some research because I wanted to know why every time I created a dating profile, my mental health would deteriorate. I was actually taken aback. The endless swiping, the endless stream of photos and profiles all feel like drops of rain. Yet behind each person is a life, a human of emotions and experiences, yet we dismiss it so quickly largely based on images. Even when we meet in person, we can be insensitive because of the conditioning of addictive dating apps. This dismissive culture leads to insensitive behaviours like ghosting, even after an irl date. We develop thick skins because of it and... well... do we truly feel human after all? So how do you break the cycle? Turns out... sometimes we need to seriously look at ourselves in the mirror. What do we actually want? Marriage? Or the social status of not being single? Do we truly want a long lasting relationship, or just the adrenaline and lust of something new and exciting? It's hard hitting, yet the best advice I got? Be single. Stay single for at least a year. Then when you're single, be TRULY single. Take the time to learn who you are before you learn about someone else. Then when you come back, date with a purpose. Don't date anyone. Date who you genuinely think you're compatible with. And I'm not posting this from some top step like I'm better than everyone else. I'm not. But now I know I'm not, and I'm doing something about it. So why am I posting this here? I want to make people think. I want to make people realise who they are, or what they are not. Knowing who you really are is a good starting point for where you want to be. I expect backlash, but if it makes one person think about who they are, then I feel like I've done something. Thought-provoking. Jay