Posted Wednesday, November 2, 2022
3y
INFJ
Aquarius
be nerdy with me pls
What is something you learned recently that added to your life? (Or not, but is just really cool) Teach us things! I will add my own teaching about attachment theory as a comment below 🤓
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186
Learning Community
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4.2M SOULS
3y
INFJ
Aquarius
There are two main styles of attachment: secure and insecure. Secure attachers feel safe in relationships. Insecure attachers experience fear in relationships and therefore feel unsafe. In childhood, secure attachers had parents who knew how to meet their children’s emotional needs. Insecure attachers did not. Of the insecure styles, there are 3 branches: anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Anxious attachers had parents that sometimes met their needs, and other times did not. Their parents are sometimes also highly critical. The child, still needing to attach, and to cope, learns to anticipate the needs of their parents, sacrificing their own needs in order to feel love, to feel safe. In adulthood, this translates the same. Anxiously attached individuals in relationships will forego their own needs in order to anticipate their partners’, sometimes sabotaging the relationship as they don’t bring their true wants and desires in. It is a subtle form of manipulation, to always anticipate what the other wants (however an understandable one, since it’s first and foremost a strategy of survival; many grew up in environments or find themselves in present day relationships where if they express their needs, harm or abandonment will follow). Avoidant attachers had parents that were consistently unavailable, emotionally and/or physically. The parents did not respond to the child’s needs, because they either did not know how, did not view it as their job, or were simply not present (at work, for example). The child then learns that they have to meet their own needs. In adulthood, this leads to a hyper independence and an unfamiliarity and fear with allowing people close to them. Disorganized attachers often come from households of abuse. Their parents are usually traumatized themselves. The child learns to associate the parent with both love (since babies have no choice), but also pain, as the person who is supposed to protect them is also harming them. It is the only “disorganized” strategy, because for these children, no one strategy (secure, anxious, avoidant) worked. They would cope with constant feelings of fear and having to guess how to keep themselves safe. In adulthood, this develops into a heavy internal conflict of the intense desire for closeness with others, but the extreme fear of that same closeness. Disorganized branches into two additional categories: oscillating and impoverished. Disorganized attachers generally have a “subtype”. If a child is disorganized but normally leans towards an anxious strategy, they are said to have an oscillating disorganized attachment style. If a child is disorganized but leans towards an avoidant strategy, they are said to have an impoverished disorganized strategy. Those with an oscillating disorganized style desire relationships a lot, but struggle mightily within them (before getting help or farther away from the trauma). Those with an impoverished disorganized style have decided they don’t want relationships at all, following a path of extreme avoidance. They generally are known to keep their lives very small, might stay in a job that is “easy” or unchallenging, and do not seek connections. It should be said that disorganized attachment is said to be rare, and impoverished disorganized attachment is said to be very rare. It also should be said that socialized expectations play a factor here (for any looking to understand heterosexual relationships better I would recommend How Can I Get Through To You?: Reconnecting Men and Women by Terrence Real). And last caveat, people heal these styles in their own time. This theory is descriptive, and I think very helpful, but not a diagnosis, or something that will last forever (if worked on). (edited)
37
14
3y
INFJ
Aries
I learned that worrying about what others think, and their opinions isn't worth changing yourself to fit their idea of cool. Fitting in isn't really that important it doesn't get you anywhere, staying focused on bettering yourself and the world around you is what gets you places. I also learned when you stop caring about getting something then it comes to you 3 fold when you least expect it. Last thing I learned but most important is to succeed in silence, keep making moves no one is obligated to know your business. Build yourself up privately and don't flaunt all the things you have, Stay humble and kind always
10
4
3y
INTJ
Taurus
I'm a historian, I always enjoy the story of HMS Birkenhead. It was carrying British troops to South Africa when it ran aground. All of the troops stood valiantly as the women and children were allowed to escape. Many of which would not survive. This would be the first instance of "Women and Children First" which would become a code of honor for rescue on the high seas.
4
2
3y
ENFJ
Aquarius
Archeologists in Egypt just found a second sphinx statue buried underground. The really cool part is that papyrus scrolls and hieroglyphics have mentioned a second sphinx for decades and no one knew if it was real or a myth!
4
2
3y
ENFJ
Cancer
There's also this about numbers..itsmind blowing Dropping the Base https://youtu.be/-Q90h7hafwA
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2
3y
ESTP
Sagittarius
Not something i recently learned but have been teaching others lately, the importance of weather and the impacts it has in nearly all aspects of life. One of the many reasons i love my job (meteorologist).
1
2
2y
ISFJ
Leo
When filming the first Poltergeist movie, it was cheaper to get real corpses than to have the prop department make them. The also didn't tell the actors and actresses that the dead bodies were real.
1
1
3y
INTJ
Capricorn
There's a correlation with patients who have ALS and how "nice" they are. Apparently nurses have actually been able to predict which patients have the disease based upon how nice they appear to be. Here are some studies below revolving around that and the big five traits. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6192405/ (edited)
1
5
3y
INFJ
Gemini
The word diatonic in music theory is used to explain that the note or chord discussed is within a specific key. The major scale in the key of C can be used to show this. In the key of C, the notes that are naturally present its major scale are C, D, E, F, G, A, B, and then C again. Chords can be made from this scale by grouping the notes in thirds, meaning that it’s every other note in the scale. So a basic C chord (also known as a C triad for the three notes that make up the chord) is C, E, G. So within the key of C major there is C major (C, E, G), D minor (D, F, A), E minor (E, G, B), F major (F, A, C), G major (G, B, D), A minor (A, C, E), and B diminished (B, D, F). I always found this interesting as it’s some shorthand for what musicians will talk about involving harmony. So if you are ever asked to play notes that are diatonic in the key of C major, then you can mentally figure out which notes are present based on how the major scale is naturally made. If curious, I can also talk about how to figure out if a 3 note chord is major, minor, diminished, or augmented. 😁👍🎶
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ENFJ
Aquarius
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