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Universes
![[NPC] Daniel](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/2YgfDlwxpiO5c28Orai46gCWeet1/17205337273428c5c69f74769bae660b94376355e69fb.jpg?class=xs)
Posted Wednesday, July 24, 2024
1mo
ENTJ
Cancer
Mental Health is hard right now, but worth it.
If you read, thank you, otherwise I understand. I’ll TLDR it. Let’s start this off here for the basics for trigger warnings. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder (aka Schizophrenia+ ✨) and for the most part keep it under control—usually scents, the occasional auditory and visual hallucination, but manageable. Recently got into an engaging relationship, everything all falling into place. About a month ago, I kept hearing this ringing from the outside. As if Tinnitus sprung from your head and out into the world. I asked my coworker, “Do you hear that?” She agreed presumably that it was the front registers, so I called my boss up. 5 minutes later, I tell her I can’t hear it, but assure it was there. Now, mind you I already had skepticisms about it because of an increase of visuals beyond normal, but with somebody agreeing with me I felt situated. We go walking around, glancing our ears across the corners and get nothing. I bring my boss to the coworker who agreed with me, but she immediately came to realization as what I described was a completely different sound. This had me stumped, but nothing out of the ordinary. Except this time it was quite annoying. Having already dealt with new recent hallucinations, I became on edge easier. The noise followed me around like a ghost tailing me. Inside, outside—a persistent noise that felt close with no source of where it came from. Well, truck comes in an hour later and now somebody’s rattling the door trying to get in. I became desperate, wanting to leave the place like it was some haunted nightmare. I took the day off, hoping it would get better, but things fell apart shortly after. I called out as I could see people’s faces staring me down out random windows, glaring without surprising malition. I couldn’t tell you why, but that freaked me out more because of how neutral they were. Fast forward some time and I’m at home short-term. My psychiatrist and I get some plan of action to help resolve to these hallucinations to some avail, but mentally I’m being taxed and tampered with. My joyous personality was getting dwindled by hesitations to go out, feeling like I was ostracized by the stigmas of my condition. I had worked on my wellbeing for months and just like that, I felt it fell apart. Two weeks ago I became more anxious, so I tried relieving that with a Delta Gummy, but that only exasperated my affects. In a way, that tipping point I feel helped for better or worse my spot that I’m in now. I became delusional, trapped in my head with intrusive thoughts to hurt some people, but I knew that wasn’t me. I still have recording of it on my phone, but for privacy not willing to share that experience. And where am I at now? Well, during this all I’ve been having consistent nightmares, as lucid as being being in psychosis, and it’s a battle between being awake and asleep. Brief moments of reprise before getting sucked back into it all. Yet, somehow, still feel very prone to another thing… My joy. Before this all started in June I got into a really great mindset of positivity, going out, and just going to concerts. My bio included some of those concerts and the eclipse that took my breath away. I know this is just a brief lapse for who I truly am, the happy-go-lucky guy that likes to be young and weird. It was amazing being able to make connections, laugh, and although I had my hallucinations then too I was well more in control of my thoughts then. This isn’t me, it’s that man I was. Even though my condition is lifelong, I wanted to make this to get my thoughts out. I know I am struggling now, but there’s so much more joy out to experience than this pain. It’s hard, just as well as other mental health things, and I wanted to make sure everyone around me is as happy as I can help. We can have our downs but it isn’t who we are—it’s the joys, and though the dark is always with us I know we are more than that alone. TLDR; My schizophrenia has been acting up and it’s been a journey. It’s cause me to become down, and it’s a battle. But I know that there is so much more to life and it will not keep me down 💪 I wish everyone the best and I hope you overcome your struggles as well. #selfcarematters #selfcare #schizoaffective #youmatter #wellbeing
![Mental Health is hard right now, but worth it.](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66a1730d4f94147dc902445d/172185681292981b457ef2c630322cb1b361478cecb08.jpg?class=xl)
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ENFP
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1d
INTP
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9
0
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INTP
Capricorn
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4
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1d
INTP
Capricorn
Dawn!
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8
0
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1d
ENFP
Gemini
Unmotivated
I haven't been able to get much done as I want to. I don't start my day until like 3pm even though I'm up by at least 10am. I just sit around smoking cigarettes, f*cking around on my phone and doing random tasks, not the tasks that need to be done. & my procrastination is the worst it has ever been.
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5
0
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20h
INTP
Capricorn
New born baby!
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4
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Capricorn
To Mountains!
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4
0
#insects
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INTP
Capricorn
Morning gratitude!
A beautiful butterfly landed on my hand, and I was taken aback. It didn’t seem afraid, even as I gently moved my hand. Its tiny legs created an amazing tickling sensation. #travel #photography #nature #trekking #hiking #outdoor #mentalhealth #writing #sports #books #mountains #outdoors #animals
![A beautiful butterfly landed on my hand, and I was taken aback. It didn’t seem afraid, even as I gently moved my hand.](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66dbca6379a39a6fe494ace8/1725680233663167ee6cfc56d371d023284f24d88360b.jpg?class=xl)
4
0
#hiking
![Shashank Panwar](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/21bL8p0qfEUDfra9738fL4punV22/1724664260058880a1abf5adda703fa5935c8b787bf72.jpg?class=xs)
1d
INTP
Capricorn
Jhandi Top!
Jhandi Top, also known as Trishul Top! #travel #photography #nature #trekking #outdoors #outdoor #mentalhealth #writing #sports #books #mountains
![#travel #photography #nature #trekking #hiking #outdoor #mentalhealth #writing #sports #books #mountains](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66db65379753abf936442c22/172565433460158871dd24c8ea7e868e7ce7455eb0156.jpg?class=xl)
4
4
#mentalhealth
![Chantal](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/EajxlmCQ1XcSiqXpahWGWJFyKdy1/1719941872241c4ae2a363154c7bc0320b1af0b24bed3.jpg?class=xs)
8h
INFJ
Scorpio
Ain't that odd?
![Ain't that odd?](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66dc69e9fc4d33cc105169db/1725721068991ebe4dd821cba762afd4d9c83fe1a0f35.jpg?class=xl)
2
1
#mentalhealth
![Shaun](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/ZBGHkaa9jgfDeq9r9onnQDvZkk32/171483737410304119c3dbbfdfff82c196603622cf613.jpg?class=xs)
15h
INTP
Virgo
I'm lonely.
What does being lonely say about me? It's a long time since I was in a relationship, for a start; I have had many struggles and I was just not in the right place (sometimes physically speaking, sometimes metaphorically) for a long term partner. I don't want a one night stand. I want an emotional... read more
2
2
#mentalhealth
![Chantal](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/EajxlmCQ1XcSiqXpahWGWJFyKdy1/1719941872241c4ae2a363154c7bc0320b1af0b24bed3.jpg?class=xs)
16h
INFJ
Scorpio
Apart of healing
![Apart of healing](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66dbfaa2144a9560e8cf7bc1/17256925820578756f44950d36cdc8700f5bb15ab3f36.jpg?class=xl)
2
3
#dating
![Sha](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/ZxDvLhuipgRlSwHe4ztzWyNMbBU2/17234163728099410d9910dce7534c2bae398e1a6f296.jpg?class=xs)
31m
INFJ
Cancer
Couldn't have said it better myself.
#relationships #love #psychology #dating #happiness #happinessisachoice #mentalhealth #confidence #spiritual #introvert
![Couldn't have said it better myself.](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66dcdc164310c2bc92671a7d/17257502978933d2bc54cfea80256125edf8dbddae85d.jpg?class=xl)
2
1
#mentalhealth
![D'Arcy](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/Ffqqx4fxvqgMP3roEu9eaNcUzc62/1721085227477a636ed0012d16c576f8ef283d6568981.jpg?class=xs)
15h
ENFP
Aquarius
Confessions of a Touch Starved Person
![Confessions of a Touch Starved Person](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66dc05331acad55b2442f981/172569528801502d5dd1191e2dd163ea78f6a59c71406.jpg?class=xl)
2
3
#mentalhealth
![Celia](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/3F9Li79pB7fTow5jqT2OV433t6V2/172388837663769776baea443cc56b662247f3bd3f303.jpg?class=xs)
1d
ISTJ
Healing: low point
I’ve hit a real low point in my healing journey, and I never imagined it would feel this raw, this visceral. I’m back in therapy, trying to work through everything, but the constant thinking and processing is exhausting. It’s like my mind never stops, and it’s wearing me down. I don’t have the... read more
14
16
#mentalhealth
![Adam](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/yTjC0a08yob5ludgnmRd54MaaZS2/16835599206133982b57131510f99db822e461ce0cfbf.jpg?class=xs)
Just now
INTP
Aries
Mind control
![Mind control](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66dce3473461a40566746ea9/17257521432994f86951b52e167a200c8967710369088.jpg?class=xl)
1
0