Posted Wednesday, September 27, 2023
9/27/2023
ENFJ
Taurus
889
4436
Questions Community
The questions community, chat, and discussion.
best
new
2y
ENTJ
54
As an English gentleman it is not a question. I will be paying regardless. It is improper any other way. They can offer and will be politely declined, fighting it will make me rethink if a second is worth my time. If their just in it for a free meal and maybe more, it ends there. Men are ment to provide and protect. We're the person of last resort, the one you can rely on when all else fails. Traditions exist for a reason even if you can not logical determine why. If it is just transactional then both sides are replaceable. I also believe all places of any quality should have separate menus one for the Man and on without prices for the other. Not all males become Men, there are rights of passage to be gone through. (Gay or Lesbian the "Man" or more so should) (edited)
144
119
2y
INFJ
Scorpio
65
No. It should either be who ever asked the person out OR discussed before hand. Personally I always offer to pay half or the full bill. I'm not there for a free meal or the guys money, but I also don't need a guy telling me I owe him because he did even though he offered. I also low key feel extreme guilt when anyone pays for anything on my behalf, so for the sake of my sanity, I always expect to pay for myself. (edited)
126
5
2y
INTJ
Gemini
54
No. (edited)
74
15
2y
INFJ
Cancer
91
Hahah nope.๐ To be honest being single for a long time ..*single independent woman for 8 to 9 years.ive been in Ldr for 3yrs and 6months..still its considered as i am an independent person..i pay for my food for that long years..and having a date after that I don't know how ..๐I'm shy terribly shy..๐ฎโ๐จ๐ฎโ๐จ๐ฎโ๐จ I came to the place earlier coz I'm thinking should I go or not..๐ฎโ๐จ and decided to meet him i already ordered my food while waiting for him ๐ my bad..my bad.. but he is a great guy..๐ he said he's coming back ..๐ .I want to meet him to pay back the ๐ฆ ๐จ.. This time it's my treat ๐คฃ๐คฃ (edited)
25
17
2y
INTJ
Cancer
19
No [Definitely not #always] (edited)
29
1
2y
INFJ
Cancer
91
Why am I even here when I havent gone out with a man, also me ๐
14
3
2y
INFP
Aries
67
If someone does cover my dinner, then I'll insist on at least going to get dessert or I'll cover whatever activity we have planned. I do always make sure that I have enough to cover myself though, since I never expect someone else to pay for my things ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ It can have a lot of factors to it though, and for me it's more of a question of whether the act of paying is appreciated and will be reciprocated (edited)
13
2
2y
INFJ
Scorpio
34
It depends. As a gentleman, I gladly will, but I've been on dates where I bought dinner, she bought the snacks at the movies. It depends on the girl and what she's comfortable with.
10
3
2y
ISFJ
Cancer
12
Not necessarily.
9
1
2y
ENFJ
Virgo
It's not a must, but I think girls would appreciate the gesture... 2nd date she pays xDDD
8
1
2y
INTP
78
Yes, and in fact men should pay for all dates in most relationships. That's part of what it means to embrace a masculine role. Natural gender roles never get outdated, and "modern" thinking on it is a fad that primarily benefits the uber-rich through expanded labor pools and decreased wages. (edited)
7
2
2y
INTP
Gemini
87
if it goes somewhere, maybe take turns paying but generally think ppl should always split bill on the first date. idk if it just me or a cultural thing but my parents always taught me to always cover for yourself before you cover for someone else, we really didnt have the leisure to do so anyway but we atleast felt dignified and had self responsibility
7
1
2y
INTJ
Aries
87
I think it really should be something that happens rather than itโs expected. Personally I like to take care of all the bills because it shows that Iโm stable which raises green flags not red ones. During the first few dates Iโm trying to make a good impression on my partner so I can make the relationship a solid one. Once itโs out of the dating scene and into the relationship scene then Iโd be more comfortable with splitting the bill or taking turns. Not expecting anything by paying the bill , Iโm simply trying to build rapport and kudo points. As a man, we are trying to impress just like every animal does in the animal kingdom. Women love stability not having to play mom. Just saying.
7
1
2y
INFJ
Capricorn
No, I think splitting the first date can be good for setting boundaries and expectations.
6
1
2y
ISFJ
Leo
87
Whoever asks who out should pay the bill. If I ask someone out, I put that expectation on myself to pay. Though if I'm pulling out my card and the person offers, then I say "I don't mind paying" "are you sure, I really don't mind" "seriously you don't have to do that" (I usually say something along these lines a three times) and they still insist then I don't argue. I never expect anyone to pay for me, though I'm not going to argue it they truly insist on it.
3
3
2y
ESFJ
Aries
Not at all ... Girl can also pay
4
2
2y
INTP
Taurus
Yes, the man should pay. We are trying to impress you. Cheapness isn't attractive, especially if I ask YOU out. First dates are interviews, and you wouldn't come to an interview in boardshorts and a cutoff t-shirt
5
0
2y
INTP
Aquarius
21
In general on any date regardless of first or the 100th date for folks whove been together a while, If he is a select quality guy, one of the rare ones, she might insist on paying for some part of it or the whole thing. Boys, dont let her pay for the whole thing. 80/20. Ill pay for dinner, she pays for dessert.
4
2
2y
ENFJ
45
Depends but yea it is indeed a nice gesture
3
3
2y
ENFJ
Aquarius
21
I think who ever asks the other person out should pay unless it's been previously discussed to split the bill. I always offer to split the bill when I go out with people. Most insist on paying which is always nice but i don't expect it
4
1
2y
ISTJ
Capricorn
34
Depends. Generally everyone should be paying their own at this point. Not like one of the two owes the other anything.. feel free to offer to pay if you like as a gesture of goodwill or whatever but it shouldn't be expected and not come with any other expectations afterwards either
4
1
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