6/8/2023

INFP

Capricorn

8
7

What have past arguments taught you about your conflict style/resolution preferences in relationships?

289

635

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new

2y

INFJ

Libra

7
8

I like to resolve conflicts immediately and that's not always the right way to do things. Sometimes it's best to go take a walk and cool off before addressing your partner.

GIF uploaded by Queen

33

2

2y

INTJ

Scorpio

8
9

Communication is key. Don’t bottle your emotions up, no matter how small they are. A relationship is about sharing and communication. If you have something to hide or are ashamed to share, you either know your partner is toxic, or you yourself are. Another big thing is listening. Just sit and listen to what they feel. If it helps, keep a notebook so you can record all the things you want to argue with. Chances are though, they will explain further anyway and your questions will be answered. Just listening is one of the most difficult things to do, especially when emotions are strong, but you will be like a god of relationships if you can master the skill.

15

7

2y

ENTJ

Capricorn

I'm direct and address the issue ASAP. What worked for me so far is framing the issue as a problem exercise where the other person is a collaborator not an opponent. No blame games- get the problem solved.

10

1

2y

INFJ

Leo

Not really, arguments have only taught me the energies to stay away from (edited)

7

1

2y

ENFP

Libra

7
8

I do not stop arguing until we reach a resolution. If the subject of the argument remains unsolved, I will bring it up over and over until it is. This obviously doesn't apply to unimportant things like movie opinions and such, but if someone is just objectively wrong in a way that's hurting others, I will argue with them until they realize it. However, I've always known this, so rather than me learning about myself, what I've learned is how incredibly stubborn people are about admitting they're wrong or even just fixing the problem.

5

2

2y

INTP

Capricorn

I have learned that it takes two people to argue, but even if you are not intending to have an argument, you can not control how the other person chooses to interpret your words or tone as an argument. It is best to avoid people who are quick to escalate a conversation into an argument. You will get nowhere

5

1

2y

INFP

Aquarius

6
7

Rembering that you’re fighting the problem not your partner. Often our emotions clouds our judgement so just because you’re loud doesn’t mean you’re right. Listen to understand not just to respond but then again you can always ask yourselves if there’s a problem or you’re both just hungry 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣 (edited)

5

0

2y

ENFP

Leo

4
5

It honestly takes a lot for me to get mad or upset at someone. Most times however I’ll walk away or will try to avoid further conflict by ending the conversation quickly til we’re both cooled off that way we can have a conversation about it when everyone’s more level headed. I also hate waiting or putting off things like talks. Due to, all it does is build up more and create more aggression to a small problem. So I always try to make sure to chat about it later on after a few hours. The most recent argument I had didn’t teach me this but actively fought with me on it, because of how I handle myself and conversations was not how they were use too. They tried to forcefully change the way I’m able to compose myself, which only ended in me blowing up over something small and eventually dropping contact completely. So instead I learned that everyone has their own way to handle themselves that works for them and instead of trying to get someone to handle things the way you do, maybe have an open and honest conversation on how you are able to handle yourself with eachother and be realistic about it. That way you know from the get go if you and another are compatible or comfortable with how the other handles situations.

4

1

2y

INFJ

Gemini

Fighting or Arguing is NOT about winning or loosing your POV. its about winning the opportunity to being heard. if you want to be heard then you have to “actively listen”. Two People DO NOT have to agree but compromise to an agreement. To achieve this you must communicate and play by the rules! Fighting/Arguing us healthy as long as the rules NEVER GET BROKEN! “Fair Fighting” is a concept theres many versions i’ll post a screenshot. 🙏🏼👊🏼

Image uploaded by Tony

7

4

2y

INFJ

7
6

1. Don't do it in text. You don't understand the tone in which they're talking. You assume the tone and things go out of hand. 2. Don't get dragged into an argument. Be mindful and be ok to ask for time and space to come back later. Sharing the reason that why you can't talk now, is important instead of just deciding to cut off. If they still don't listen, then you can walk away cuz you've done your part. 3. Communicate. If you want to vent, say that you're venting. If you want complain, say that you've been feeling xyz, and want to see how it can be resolved. ofcourse, it needs an understanding and willing partner to do this successfully. But if you don't try, you won't know if it works with then or not. 4. Sometimes, taking time out from the fight and hugging your partner helps both. Both are hurting and need this comfort. Ofcourse there's no fool proof way. Im not ok with disrespect. I know its a way for alot of ppl to release their frustration, but I won't take it. It makes me not want to be with them anymore, and will put no efforts to resolve. (edited)

4

0

2y

INFJ

Pisces

3
2

I mostly communicate my concerns rather than argue. Haha, although I'm not 100% zen. Sometimes, I'll lose my cool, especially when I have to deal with repetitive "mistakes". I'll drop the topic & person at that point. It's draining when you can't come to a mutual agreement that involves considerate compromise.

3

0

2y

ENFJ

Gemini

6
7

I'm very no nonsense type of person. If I sniff the faintest scent of bs I'll attack it really quick. And if I'm proven wrong then I'm proven wrong. I'll admit that all day. But I'm usually very neutral unless someone doesn't want to get through their head that they are ridiculous

3

0

2y

ISTJ

Libra

7
8

That you don't avoid it, if something made you argue then you should talk about it before it makes you argue again. Avoiding isn't the solution because it won't fix the problem

3

0

2y

INTJ

Leo

9
1

I have changed completely with age and self relection. What I used to do never worked and always cause pain on purpose. I now actively listen and think. Take my time with reason before response. Seperate myself to center myself and make sure I am in a good mindset before hand. I do not tolerate authoritarian ultimatums, subject changes, raised voices. Conflict resolution needs two(or more depending on relationship preferences) rational ppl having a discussion.

3

0

2y

INFP

Leo

That sometimes both of we need to leave certain things for better.. Prioritise the relationship over the problem.. Be considerated & understanding

3

0

2y

INTP

Capricorn

9
1

That one shouldn't argue. If there are issues, discuss them like adults and you will have a chance to resolve them. To argue will only cause resentment and anger.

3

0

2y

INTP

Gemini

Relationship experience does not make you better at relationships, maturity does. I've seen snippets of self help advice for communication and conflict resolution that basically tells ppl to act like me. It was very validating 😎

3

0

2y

INTP

Aquarius

1
2

I try not to postpone conversations for later, it's best for me to express it here and now..Maybe it's not right, but I am..

3

0

2y

INTP

Scorpio

Nothing can change when you argue with a girl !! Tell sorry and clear the conversation immediately if not you know the consequences will be 🤔🤔😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

3

0

2y

ENFJ

8
7

Learned not to argue 😏

3

0

2y

ENFJ

Libra

Is defending your actions considered being difficult? When is one suppose to back down and just let them think I'm sorry but Not sorry?

2

1

2y

INTP

Aquarius

It's important to pick your battles sometimes being right isn't worth the oayoff

3

0

2y

INTJ

Leo

5
6

Everything, I am naturally avoidant but when someone decided to confront me I will not sit still and remain quiet, I will push harder and confront the other person harder than they ever expect and silence them (edited)

3

0

2y

INFP

Cancer

As someone who has an anxious attachment style, I want to resolve conflicts quickly because the more time we spend apart, the more I overthink and get anxious—which has been really difficult when you previously had an avoidant partner who doesn’t want to talk about things and their first instinct was to either shut off or end things with you.

2

3

2y

INFP

Virgo

2
3

I like to dial down severity of certain disagreements with bets where the Dinner gets a hug, a kiss, breakfast in bed, stuff like that. It makes it light, juvial, and something that doesn't have to be taken too seriously. It doesn't work with some topics that need an actual debate and solution, but does help with a majority of them

3

0

2y

ENFP

Sagittarius

Not to talk until the anger emotions have settled down… discuss about it when both are calm and ready for a healthy discussion….anger is a very bad emotion spoils relationships…

3

0

2y

INFP

Aries

2
1

I just wanted to add something after the fact...sometimes how people were raised affects how they behave in conflict situations...I hate sharing(because it makes me re-live painful memories but yet am and open book. I grew up watching/listening to my parents argue and fight, raised voices, hushed arguments, etc. At first they hid it, even going to the extreme of sitting in the car in the driveway for 2 hours for no reason (arguing) which evolved to "go to your rooms" so we wouldn't hear them fight and raise their voices...which ultimately during the teen years deteriorated to "we argue in front of the kids" ultimately deteriorating into we shout and put our hands on each other (mostly dad on mom) I think this has traumatized me into not knowing how to handle conversations that go south basically. I'm sure it's common amongst people who witnessed this as kids. I never raise my voice regardless, and turn into a blank stared statue even if he raises his voice or gets overly animated...no reaction from me which makes me look like I don't care or am not passionate about the issue...nope just deep trauma lol seriously 😳 I think people ...especially partners need to keep things like that in mind when they go overboard or begin to raise their voice

GIF uploaded by Jen-Jen

3

0

2y

INFJ

Libra

Past arguments have taught me the importance of active listening, empathy, and understanding. I've learned that it's essential to communicate openly and honestly, while also being respectful and kind towards others.

3

0

2y

INFP

Libra

1
9

When I get really upset I need some time to process my thoughts & feelings. I get overwhelmed & feel either tunnel vision or feel like I'm drowning. I come out fighting without even realizing why I feel a certain way. My emotions take over & I can't think straight.

3

0

2y

INFP

Gemini

1
2

That I'm stoic to the point of major disrespect. There is nothing stopping two reasonable people from having a calm debate over differences in order to return balance to the relationship.

2

0

2y

INTP

Scorpio

8
7

You gotta know when to hold em Know when to fold em Know when to walk away Know when you run Don't count your money at the table When picking a hill to die on, consider choosing wisely or you could be looking at the end of a relationship and a whole lot of broken heart.

2

0

2y

ENTJ

Virgo

I’m always right.

2

0

2y

INTJ

Cancer

4
5

It taught me to not argue. Now I keep quiet.In my mind I think about all the things I would have said out of anger, how they would have hurt my partner and the after effects. I take a deep breath,remove myself if I need to and when I'm calm enough to help him calm down ,we talk.

2

0

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