Posted Tuesday, May 30, 2023
5/30/2023
INFP
Capricorn
87
368
1149
Questions Community
The questions community, chat, and discussion.
best
new
2y
ISFJ
Libra
67
Tbh I go back and forth ๐คฃ my answer would've been a solid yes a few years ago, but after learning more about child development, Hearing stories, and working with families, it makes you view it in a bit of a different light. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but life definitely changes. YOU'LL NEVER SLEEP PEACEFULLY AGAIN
89
37
2y
ENTP
Leo
21
I don't think I'm suited to be a mother and I never wished to be one. Also the responsibility of a fragile human scares me completely
10
0
2y
INFJ
Libra
78
I'm still undecided ๐ค
8
4
2y
ISTJ
Cancer
I had never wanted kids; only lots of practice making them... But, about two years after birth control failed... when OUT OF THE BLUE, my son said "I love you Daddy." That moment changed my mind from resenting the BC company to suddenly finding myself happy to be a father. His Mom cheated on me and left me, we were given split custody, and I am STILL his favorite... He'll be 11 in August... ๐ฅฐ
5
2
2y
INTJ
Libra
67
๐๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐ช๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐จ ๐ค๐ง ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ? I never wanted kids, because: โ Genetic issues -- My oldest sibling was born with half a heart and only lasted a week before my parents pulled the plug. I also had TWO cousins born same year as sibling who died, so I got paranoid. Furthermore, I have anemia & sickle-cell trait. Plus, blood pressure issues are common in family...so worried if I had a kid. โก Nomad -- I'm nomadic at heart, and travel a lot, I didn't want to drag the poor kid around with me like that. โข Career -- I used to be more career-oriented than family-oriented... โฃ Natural Loner -- I'm a turbo introvert (not shy) and require a LOT of alone time after being social. I mean, I'll still go out, but by myself (ex. If I want to go bowling, I'll go by myself. If I want to watch a movie, I'll go watch it...) I just don't want to be obligated to host or entertain the other person the entire time... I get tired of being people's dancing monkey. I need to rest. โค Dysfunctional Family -- I come from a dysfunctional family...and dont really have relatives for son to call "grandparents" or "uncles" or anything else. I was physically & verbally abused growing up... I'm cool.with one sibling though. I also did not want to continue the cycle of abuse... With that in mind, as I've mentioned... Never wanted kids, ex got me pregnant (on purpose, he told me he "knew" he did but didn't say anything until after I took the pregnancy test, I won't get into the TMI of that, but basically I was blackout drunk during that time and he did what he wanted...Another reason why I rarely ever drink) and I thought he was my soulmate so I (stupidly) didn't care at the time. My ex and I were together for 3yrs, had our own place, car, and child together and we were going to buy a house next but...he had a drinking problem, got physically, verbally, & financially abusive. I paid all the bills, he just drank and played games most of the day...and stole my debit card & car to support his vice. Yeah... Do I want more kids now since I already have one? Not really. I'll adopt if someone is a single parent too, but other than that, I'm good off having one... I can't even think about it right now. If it happens, it happens I guess...
5
1
2y
ISFJ
Aries
65
As someone who has kids itโs never a good time to have kids. Your finances can change quickly one minute you could be in a steady job and then bam you loose it ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ Iโm not saying have kids if you cant afford them Iโm just saying lots of reason for you to not have kids but if you really want them I would say go for it. Kids are hard work and itโs not a decision you make lightly. But so much joy can come from it. But the world we live in currently is kind of scary to bring kids into.
5
0
2y
INTJ
Gemini
54
I had a moment of epiphany. Imagine this: It was a bright afternoon; I was peacefully sipping my coffee and muching on my precious donut -- just minding my business. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a kid appeared and snatched my donuts! Stunned. Unable to grasp the situation. He ran and stopped midway, then turned around to me and gave a smirk. I gave him a dead stare, one that pierced into his soul.. Ah, my last donut which I had been saving all afternoon, slowly dropped (i almost cursed gravity for this) into the mud where he was standing. My poor donut. ๐ข And then, he unleashed an impressive tantrum. ๐ย To make the situation worst, my younger sibling that time suddenly woke up and started crying. Ha-ha. It's a symphony of chaos and tears. In that very moment, I heard a divine voice saying, "Stick to being the fun aunt, my child. And you will live longer." The universe spoke and I listened. And just like that, my path was set. ๐ (edited)
3
1
2y
INTJ
Scorpio
67
My mind was made up from as early as I can remember. For some, it's their whole life. For others, it's part of the journey. For me and others alike, it's not on the agenda, nor do I or (I believe), will I, feel like I've lost out because I made a different decision for myself. We should all be allowed that choice..... THIS, shall be my chaos instead ๐ถ๐๐ฉ๐
3
4
2y
INFP
Taurus
12
I just love kids,I was born,someone took the risks of having me,why not have kids really,I am looking forward to meet a man who wants kids.No matter what it takes children are a gift from God.I can't imagine shutting down my generation just like that ,that's the end of me when I go to grave yard.No no no ,kids are my world,my daughter brightens my day and am looking forward to mingke with a man who wants babies.Hope am not stupid
3
2
2y
INTP
Aquarius
67
World is already messed up and it's horrible out here so don't wanna bring another soul to make them suffer
3
1
2y
INTJ
67
I never wanted them so it was a very easy decision
3
0
2y
INFJ
Capricorn
I donโt believe in being ready for anything really. You can prepare, read books, hear stories of other peopleโs experiences but when it really comes down to it. You never know whatโs going to happen, what life is going to throw at you. Itโs just something you have to think and see if thatโs what you want in your future. Do you want to come home to kids that you once carried, and learn a love you never imagined. And also go through pain and stress you never thought you could feel. To each itโs own love, and whatever you decide is ok, donโt ever feel pressured or persuaded other wise. Best wishes to you! ๐๐ซถ๐ผ (edited)
3
0
2y
INTP
Libra
78
I don't want kids. I honestly had this realization very early in life about 10 years old. Watching my mother struggle and fight to provide for her 4 kids at a young age herself. I seen how much it affected her, where she even was willing to committ suicide. Seeing most of her very being slowly lose her energy and will power from juggling 2 jobs sometimes 3 along with side hustles and being abandoned by her family at the age of 16. And I don't have patience with kids and I don't see myself ever developing that skill for kids.
3
0
2y
INFP
Sagittarius
45
I decided very early in my Life that I never wanted kids.....i was 13/14, i think. It never changed.
2
2
2y
INFP
Gemini
No. I am an anti natalist. I will not put my child through the suffering I went through growing up
3
0
2y
ENFP
Virgo
87
I have a slew of medical problems. I never want to pass on to my own child. Plus, their are so many children looking for a home in foster care. I know that they might come with their own medical problems heck, they might not even like me at first. But later on they'll at least have a safe place to land and know that they'll be loved and treated with kindness at my home. Instead of wherever life might have tossed them.
3
0
2y
INFJ
Taurus
If you want make them, if your partner does not , find enother partner.
2
2
2y
INFJ
Cancer
67
I kind of haven't anymore, i used to be dead set on having kids a little too much because of my not so kosher relationship with my own father, the truth is i let it go because too much time is spent planning for something that's not my decision alone and not enough time spent appreciating the things that are right in front of me, so i take it one day at a time enjoying each one so that if the day ever comes that it is time to step up and become a father i will have faith in knowing that i won't bring any forms of resentment into the picture when it comes to raising my children and they will get nothing but the best from me, because that's what kids should get, the very best versions of their mothers and fathers
3
0
2y
ENFP
Virgo
78
The biology of conception and childbirth is horrible and entirely one-sided and also no matter how eco-conscious you are there's no bigger carbon footprint than a new human being. Adoption is the way
3
0
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